words from the wise

[den4]

Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.

When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

A penny saved is a government oversight.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

He who hesitates is probably right.

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are " XL."

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

Did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs."

 

[Kinsao]

I read a nice quotation the other day in an Evelyn Waugh book: "Enclosing every thin man, there's a fat man demanding elbow-room".

 

[Kara_Nari]

Hhaha, those are all funny.
Hmm I have nothing to add.... keep posting them, I'll just observe.

 

[Tsuyoiko]

My husband always wears T-shirts with these kind of quotes. You can buy them from Past Times. Yesterday he wore
"I am the ultimate sex symbol - all the others are counterfeit" (Mae West). Others he likes are
"There is mischief in this man" (Shakespeare),
"I am an extraordinarily witty, brilliant and clever man" (G B Shaw)
"Those are my principles, if you don't like them I have others" (Groucho Marx)
but one he really covets, that we saw on a great big fat guy in Asda was
"I beat anorexia"

 

[Mikawa Ossan]

"Those are my principles, if you don't like them I have others" (Groucho Marx)

I especially liked this!

How about this one:

There are three kinds of people that I hate, hypocrites, and people who can't count!

 

[Tsuyoiko]

Good one! Here is one for geeks:
"There are 10 kinds of people - those who understand binary and those who don't."

 

[Mikawa Ossan]

If I get that last one, does that make me a geek?

"To be, or not to be.... ☝ ...What was the question? "

 

[lexico]

All so fine, and some are so dead serious esp. the one about the early birds that flocked to Denmark for the big game, found a worm, caught the SARS, but lived to tell it. Well, here's one from my strange uncle. 'A friend in need is a pain in the neck.'

 

[Mikawa Ossan]

"I may not always be right, but I'm never wrong."

 

[Tsuyoiko]

"It's not often you're right, but you're wrong again"