The History of the Universe in 200 Words or Less

[mad pierrot]

Not as good as sex jokes, but still funny.


Quantum fluctuation. Inflation. Expansion. Strong nuclear interaction. Particle-antiparticle annihilation. Deuterium and helium production. Density perturbations. Recombination. Blackbody radiation. Local contraction. Cluster formation. Reionization? Violent relaxation. Virialization. Biased galaxy formation? Turbulent fragmentation. Contraction. Ionization. Compression. Opaque hydrogen. Massive star formation. Deuterium ignition. Hydrogen fusion. Hydrogen depletion. Core contraction. Envelope expansion. Helium fusion. Carbon, oxygen, and silicon fusion. Iron production. Implosion. Supernova explosion. Metals injection. Star formation. Supernova explosions. Star formation. Condensation. Planetesimal accretion. Planetary differentiation. Crust solidification. Volatile gas expulsion. Water condensation. Water dissociation. Ozone production. Ultraviolet absorption. Photosynthetic unicellular organisms. Oxidation. Mutation. Natural selection and evolution. Respiration. Cell differentiation. Sexual reproduction. Fossilization. Land exploration. Dinosaur extinction. Mammal expansion. Homo sapiens manifestation. Animal domestication. Food surplus production. Civilization! Innovation. Exploration. Religion. Warring nations. Empire creation and destruction. Exploration. Colonization. Taxation without representation. Revolution. Constitution. Election. Expansion. Industrialization. Rebellion. Emancipation Proclamation. Invention. Mass production. Urbanization. Immigration. World conflagration. League of Nations. Suffrage extension. Depression. World conflagration. Fission explosions. United Nations. Space exploration. Assassinations. Lunar excursions. Resignation. Computerization. World Trade Organization. Internet expansion. Composition. Extrapolation?

 

[blessed]

cool... I like how 60 words or so are devoted tothe last 10000 years...

a good russian would say: where is communism???

 

[Lina Inverse]

Well, all of it can be summarized in just two words:
Mostly harmless

 

[sl0815]

The last third is not that global as the title suggests ... but still very funny


Jan

 

[Maciamo]

Funny to see almost all the words end in -um or -tion/-sion. That means they all come from Latin (the other in -ent, -ty, etc also are, btw). How would that sound using only English words of Germanic origin ? Anyone want to try ? (what I have just written is all made of Germanic words but two).

 

[mad pierrot]

Uh-oh, somebody make a hitchhiker's joke......



Btw, Maciamo, good idea. How about trying it in Japanese?