The conversation's different here.

Learn about the culture, but you don't have to be a part of it yourself.

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But by being here in Japan, in a sense, he is a part of it.

I'm sorry for bringing up such an old thread, I just can't help it, lol. I am in Japan as an excahnge student, too for the past 2 and so months and I can help you out a bit.

Ask your peers for slang and popular 'jokes', and sayings. Search for them online, do a subtle test and see if they work. This are just great ice-breakers 'cause it is so easy to get a Japanese to laugh at it.

As for the girls, well, just go and talk to them. Be confident and outgoing. You are gaijin so they kinda expect that. Just don't make the mistake that I did and ask half girls you meet for their cellphone address, they'll get mad at you! It's not good to be a ちやらお、or a playboy. For real, be cool, be yourself.
For example, girls stare at you, just keep staring, and with a funny look in your face, say a simple 'What?', that really tells you are confident and funny and they'll get a good laugh, too. Just eye-flirt or something, I dunno.

Mauricio

Oh, things are better now. I can speak Japanese pretty fluently and I've made some friends. The problem was that everybody at my school is boring.

By the way, I saw your pictures, and you are lucky. I got put out in the country, where there's not a lot to do. I wish girls in Kiryu were that good looking...

Maybe you see them as boring because you are in a rural environment, and you are from an urban one.

Get to know what they are interested in. Be a part of it. Your stay here won't be forever, and it will soon be over. Make the most of it so that you don't go home and start thinking, "Gee, I wish I would have..."

You can read Japanese right? Why don't you go and buy a few comic books aimed at young Japanese males? I'm sure there are humour themed ones out there.

Glenski said:

Maybe you see them as boring because you are in a rural environment, and you are from an urban one.

Get to know what they are interested in. Be a part of it. Your stay here won't be forever, and it will soon be over. Make the most of it so that you don't go home and start thinking, "Gee, I wish I would have..."

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I agree with Glenski here. The bright lights of Tokyo kept me entertained for a good year, and I would definitely go back, but the country can be quite interesting as well. I've spent time with family in incredibly rural areas.. nothing but hills and rice paddies, and it was quite calming. Not the most social environment, sure, but it's not hard to find people. Obviously, it's a case of 'to each their own', but I'd also try my best to enjoy my time wherever I was in Japan.

By the way, once the make up and designer fashions come off Japanese girls are all the same, as are women from any country, I don't know that city girls are actually 'prettier' than country ones.

bakaKanadajin said:

By the way, once the make up and designer fashions come off Japanese girls are all the same, as are women from any country, I don't know that city girls are actually 'prettier' than country ones.

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And a lot of those "city girls" are really country girls who have moved to the city in hopes of better jobs or education. You can take the girl out of the country, but...

Very true, and you're often reminded that they are from the countryside by the way they walk.

In Japan from my personal experience. It was more difficult to get a girl friend in the country side but easier to get friends where as in the city it was easier to get a girl friend but harder to get friends.

Well, it wasn't really a matter of country girls vs. city girls, but more of an issue of girls in my school vs. everywhere else. For some reason, the schools that are better academically seem to have much prettier girls around here. As far as people being boring, I think it's just limited to my school. I ask them if they want to hang out sometime, and they say they're busy, or that they're studying. The only people at my school that do things are the kind of people I don't want to be associated with. So, most of my friends go to other schools. It may have just been a problem with me being so completely out of my element, but I'm used to it now.

I'm also finally fluent, and can occasionally crack a joke.

Noppin said:

Well, it wasn't really a matter of country girls vs. city girls, but more of an issue of girls in my school vs. everywhere else. For some reason, the schools that are better academically seem to have much prettier girls around here. As far as people being boring, I think it's just limited to my school. I ask them if they want to hang out sometime, and they say they're busy, or that they're studying. The only people at my school that do things are the kind of people I don't want to be associated with. So, most of my friends go to other schools. It may have just been a problem with me being so completely out of my element, but I'm used to it now.
I'm also finally fluent, and can occasionally crack a joke.

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I kinda get where you are going with. I can somewhat relate to this. Well, we in the Western world, (I lived in America, I know what I'm talking about) are used to hanging out with friends, but don't take it personally, Japan is a very working nation, if I make myself clear and kids really don't have that much time for themselves. I am serious.
Just look at any class. Half the students are sleeping cause they have to study some 3 hours a day, take a 30 minute train each way and do 2 to 3 hours of club everyday. It's just their culture. That's part of the experience. It is hard for me to accept it, but I finally did since I know I am seriously pretty much in another planet. Just accept it, that's part of culture shock.

What I reccommend is getting some gaijin friends you can hang out with every once in a while, they most probably have the same issues(?) and they are used to the same things as you.

Oh, btw, please get the 'Dirty Japanese' book. It definitely helps learning the dirtiest slang, so you can have a 'cool' conversation with a classmate and crack an extra few laughs.

The point is, instead of whining, find a solution. I don't have the best of times being 18 years old when all my classmates are 15 and a few 16, but I just try making the best of it trying to hang out with second and third graders too. Sometimes it is hard with the languae barrier and all, but make an effort and you and they will appreciate it.

Mauricio