Some advice is in order

My wife ( who is Japanese ), is going to take her tenure sabbatical in Japan to do research. She's been invited be a visiting professor at a university. Her funding is for one year and apparently the family is included. Two years ago we stayed for five months and there were problems. Our twins did not have much trouble fitting in at school ( although their Japanese is limited ) and they were doted on by their grandparents.
The problem was mostly mine. I don't have a degree ( I was booted by one of the finest university's in the land but that's no help ) I don't have what would be deemed marketable skills ( I've been a rare book appraiser, a tree planter, a paste up peon, a roughneck and a canoe guide. Not marketable ) My in-laws hate me. Being a full time daddy/house husband is not what they consider a valid occupation.

So what do I do? How do I spend my time?

The last outing drove me nearly insane ( ok, QUITE insane ) and the one thing I learn is you've got to DO something. But what is a mystery to me.

Welcome to the forums, I'm guessing that you are a male despite your profile information.

I see you already tried several occupations. You could try the computers as an occupation, maybe design or programming if it appeals to you at all. I don't know about japan, but here in Portugal all you need is to know one or two languages and have a portfolio of projects just to show that the employers that you know something, about half of the jobs in here don't ask for a degree. It is something that could learn for free but that would take some of your time and full dedication. And it would only work if you like it.

This wouldn't give you a job tomorrow, but you can do this while you search for any job right now, as it provides you with future abilitations which are always useful.

What are your interests? Maybe turning a hobby into a temporary business may be the thing to do.

I don't have what would be deemed marketable skills ( I've been a rare book appraiser, a tree planter, a paste up peon, a roughneck and a canoe guide. Not marketable ) My in-laws hate me. Being a full time daddy/house husband is not what they consider a valid occupation.

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Now that's what I call a resume' Seriously though, my advice to you would be this: take this opportunity to make the most of your time and turn it into something positive. In other words, if you feel lacking in marketable skills then why not devote yourself to studying Japanese? Many people would kill to be in your situation for months on end with nothing preventing you from devoting yourself to your studies.

The best way to pick up another language is without a doubt, spend time abroad and immerse yourself in the culture/language. Not only will you have a language credit you can put on a resume' but your inlaws will undoubtedly praise you for your efforts making you the apple in their eyes. 8-p Ask yourself the last time you were in Japan for five months... what did you take away from that experience? If the answer is very little or next to nothing, then... don't squander a wonderful opportunity the second time around.

You might have a good chance to get a job at the university where your wife will be working, if not for full-time, maybe a part-time job. If you don't mind working at the same place as your wife does, though as sometimes that can be a problem.

Your experiences sound like they can be applicable in a school environment; there should be a library for book appraising, can do landscaping, or plan canoe trips for the students and such.

It might be worth looking into those?

Despite misa's positive outlook on PT university work for Dohol, I am less optimistic. She might have SOME pull there, but I doubt it. His spouse visa (umm, you DO have one, don't you?) allows any sort of work, but competition for university jobs here, even PT ones, is fierce, and there are plenty of experienced people around.

If your kids are going to be in school, I presume you are going to be the one to get them ready and pick them up when it is over, and to deal with most of the daily problems that may arise there. Learn Japanese! Take classes while they are in school. Get a PT job teaching English (it's the easiest way for foreigners to land work). Teach out of your home if you have to.

A friend I know has a Thai wife. He teaches FT while she stays at home. She teaches cooking and dance classes and makes almost as much as he does. Her Japanese is much better, too, as a result of more exposure and immersion and opportunity to practice.

Have to agree with Glenski here, while misha seems to be trying to make you feel good about what opportunities she thinks may exist it would be better for you to face reality here.

If your kids are going to be in school, I presume you are going to be the one to get them ready and pick them up when it is over, and to deal with most of the daily problems that may arise there. Learn Japanese! Take classes while they are in school. Get a PT job teaching English (it's the easiest way for foreigners to land work). Teach out of your home if you have to.

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That is great advice, Glenski is refering to the competition for teaching jobs I presume, but if you were to attempt applying for gardening/landscaping work or even as a janitor you should realize that those types of jobs can be back breaking and very low paying as well. Not to mention you would need to understand and speak Japanese as well. Your work experience, outside of Japan, is not going to count too much when applying for a position with your credentials.

Your experiences sound like they can be applicable in a school environment; there should be a library for book appraising, can do landscaping, or plan canoe trips for the students and such.

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While the intent from misha is nice, do you think you would be "qualified" to do these kinds of jobs here with your current knowledge of the language? Do you know enough of the country to be able to plan a canoe trip, and take responsibility for the people as well? These are rhetorical questions, and I think you take my point. I wouldn't expect a school to just "create" a position, particularly when education funding here in Japan in dropping and schools and universities are fighting to survive.

Why not write a book about your time/travels in Japan and the conflicts you did/did not experience with Japanese culture.

It might not help your relationship with the in-laws or help you out financially in the short term but there is demand for travel books. Also, it will transform the time you felt was wasted into inspirational fodder.

I hope it goes well for you!