Social faux pax?

[ロバート]

I was at a party last night where there were several Japanese people. A woman showed up I didn't know, she looked Japanese, so I asked: 日本人ですか？ The Japanese man sitting next to me said, "You should never ask a Japanese person if they are Japanese that way". Then he told me how, but I can't remember.

Did I make a serious social faux pax?

Robert

 

[mdchachi]

I was at a party last night where there were several Japanese people. A woman showed up I didn't know, she looked Japanese, so I asked: 日本人ですか？ The Japanese man sitting next to me said, "You should never ask a Japanese person if they are Japanese that way". Then he told me how, but I can't remember.

Did I make a serious social faux pax?

Robert

I don't know what his problem is. You should have asked him, あなたは中国人ですか？ and ask him if that is better. Probably the lady didn't think twice about it. Obviously you're a learner of Japanese and won't know the most natural ways to speak.

I'm just guessing but perhaps he thinks it's insulting to question somebody's nationality. Maybe he thinks it's implying that they might not be Japanese or not look Japanese even though they are?
That being said, it's probably more natural and safe to say something like 出身はなんですか？

 

[ロバート]

I don't know what his problem is. You should have asked him, あなたは中国人ですか？ and ask him if that is better. Probably the lady didn't think twice about it. Obviously you're a learner of Japanese and won't know the most natural ways to speak.

I'm just guessing but perhaps he thinks it's insulting to question somebody's nationality. Maybe he thinks it's implying that they might not be Japanese or not look Japanese even though they are?
That being said, it's probably more natural and safe to say something like 出身はなんですか？

agreed....

 

[nice gaijin]

I guess context is everything, in the states I would probably start in English and segue into Japanese after I find out where they're from. Starting off by asking if they're Japanese in Japanese is a bit presumptuous and can backfire, especially if they aren't Japanese. I wouldn't say it's especially rude to ask, but I think the implication might be that you're so eager to practice your Japanese that you're going to skip the pleasantries and jump right into it before you even know where they're from.

I'm also not sure what the other guy was on about, but I would have asked him what he meant and how he would prefer to be asked himself.

 

[mdchachi]

but I would have asked him what he meant and how he would prefer to be asked himself.

Well he did say the guy told him what he should say but he forgot.

 

[nice gaijin]

Well he did say the guy told him what he should say but he forgot.

ah missed that. Well, I guess I would've written it down!

 

[ロバート]

ah missed that. Well, I guess I would've written it down!

it was at a party, cocktails in hand, might have been a bit odd to say, "wait, gotta get some paper and write down what you said..." I just let it drop...

 

[Grandpa Frank]

When I first got back to Maine from Japan , I was looking for a chance to use my Japanese . At the mall , I saw 2 really cute Asian girls and greeted them in Japanese. Well , they were Korean and they ripped me a new butt hole for thinking they were Japanese. It was a lesson I never forgot , LOL.

 

[nice gaijin]

When I first got back to Maine from Japan , I was looking for a chance to use my Japanese . At the mall , I saw 2 really cute Asian girls and greeted them in Japanese. Well , they were Korean and they ripped me a new butt hole for thinking they were Japanese. It was a lesson I never forgot , LOL.

yup, that's exactly the life lesson I hope we can all learn from without having to live it. It's so much easier to ask "where are you from?" than risking being wrong and potentially insulting someone. The only time that kind of gamble ever paid off for me was in Korea when I met a lady and was compelled to ask her if she was of Vietnamese descent. She said yes and asked how I knew, and I told her the truth, that my friend (who I had been staying with) was just telling me that Vietnamese girls were the most beautiful, and that she looked just like someone back home he had a crush on. I wasn't even trying to be slick, but I think I burned up all my good karma with that one encounter.

Another time, I went climbing in Yosemite and there was a Japanese family at the base that I chatted with on the approach. When we came down I saw them at the same picnic table on the way to the car, and called out to them in Japanese "Oh, you're still here?" Confused looks were the response. I repeated myself, and then realized that it just looked like them, and was a completely different group of people I called out to. Turns out they were Korean, but they took it well enough.

it was at a party, cocktails in hand, might have been a bit odd to say, "wait, gotta get some paper and write down what you said..." I just let it drop...

On the contrary, I think it would've shown that you were taking him seriously, even if you were just writing it down to double check later. I often whip my phone out to make notes because my memory is no bueno.