Q: Japanese customs for accepting a guest at home

Wardibald · 7 Oct 2012

Greetings,

For my first questions on this board:
Are there any (traditional or no) typical customs for someone to accept a guest at home?

*How much difference is there between people with public jobs (doctors, lawyers, politicians) and those who don't accept visitors on a regular basis, like you or me (provided you're not one of the above )
*How does a typical doctor's office work in Japan? How are waiting rooms organised - how do they look like?
*What if someone comes along looking for hospitality who is not invited? Is this considered rude?
*Are there specific rooms in a Japanese home that a guest should avoid entering?

I'm sure there is no single answer to any of those questions, I'm just looking for some ideas, a road to imagination.
And please, there's no need to answer all of my questions at once, any helpful input is appreciated.

Ritsurei

Speedy Japanese · 10 Oct 2012

Last time I went to Japan with my wife we stayed in our friends home along the way. We spent about 3 weeks there and were entirely hosted by friends we didn't spend any time in Hotels or Motels etc. I found them to be incredibly hospitable and we often were given a room to share which was very generous given how small many Japanese homes are.

We found our hosts to be very generous and gracious but I wouldn't ever invite myself to their homes we waited until they had invited us as inviting oneself to stay in their home would probably be considered impolite.

Not sure on some of the other points you raised, i'm sure some others can help out.

Wardibald · 10 Oct 2012

Thanks, that's very helpful

Glenski · 10 Oct 2012

Are there any (traditional or no) typical customs for someone to accept a guest at home?

Greet them at the door. Show them their room. Give them tea.

*How much difference is there between people with public jobs (doctors, lawyers, politicians) and those who don't accept visitors on a regular basis, like you or me (provided you're not one of the above )

Same as in any other country. What are you looking for?

*How does a typical doctor's office work in Japan? How are waiting rooms organised - how do they look like?

Chairs or benches to sit on after the entry where you leave your shoes and put on slippers, sometimes sterilized with UV. Front desk takes your ailment and personal data, makes you complete a chart and answer Qs, then you wait to be called to a secondary waiting area before seeing the doc. After you finish, you pay and go to a nearby pharmacy.

*What if someone comes along looking for hospitality who is not invited? Is this considered rude?

I do not understand.

Are there specific rooms in a Japanese home that a guest should avoid entering?

Someone else's bedroom.

Wardibald · 10 Oct 2012

Glenski said:
Greet them at the door. Show them their room. Give them tea.

Thanks, that's just what I was looking for
Do people handshake in Japan? Is ritsurei common?

Glenski said:
Same as in any other country. What are you looking for?

Particular customs. E.g. the poster above mentioned that Japanese homes tend to be rather small. This may have an impact on how keen people are on accepting visitors.
In some countries, public offices are less reachable than in others. This could make politicians and lawyers more readily accept strangers in their personal homes, whereas this is in Belgium very unusual because it's a small and populated place.
Sometimes, cultures are just different. Like the bows we made when I practiced judo. This is very unlike anything we normally do around here, among so many other things.

Glenski said:
Chairs or benches to sit on after the entry where you leave your shoes and put on slippers, sometimes sterilized with UV. Front desk takes your ailment and personal data, makes you complete a chart and answer Qs, then you wait to be called to a secondary waiting area before seeing the doc. After you finish, you pay and go to a nearby pharmacy.

Thanks. Is it common in Japan to leave your shoes to enter anyone's home?

Glenski said:
Someone else's bedroom.

Okay, thanks. I've read somewhere that Japanese gardens aren't supposed to be entered much. That may not be an actual part of a home, but is this true?
Don't feel obliged to answer my new questions, you've been very helpful already. Thank you very much.

Glenski · 11 Oct 2012

Yes, people shake hands, but not with each other as a rule. With foreigners more often.
Yes, they bow. Basic Asian custom.
Yes, people have a habit of leaving shoes at the entry instead of wearing them in the house.

Never heard of not going into a garden. Ask first, of course. You would probably do that at your home, too.

Just who do you plan to visit?

Wardibald · 11 Oct 2012

These might indeed seem strange questions if you don't know what this is about. I explained it a bit in my introduction thread, but I guess stating my intent here could never hurt.
Unfortunately I am unable to visit Japan at this time and the forseeable future. My personal situation does not allow it.
I am working on a novel in the setting of a mix between western and Japanese cultures. Due to the nature of the story I allow myself some room for inaccuracy, but I'd rather learn as much as I can.

Maybe I'll make a more complete thread about it, but since I plan on the book becoming a commercial product, I'd rather not say too much.
Not that it will be completed anytime soon, or that I'm going to get rich because of it
Anyway, it's in Dutch so I don't think advertising it here will have much of an impact.
Of course, anyone can pm me for more information though, or for anything else for that matter.

Thanks for your help again

Glenski · 12 Oct 2012

Be open about what you are doing (book research). No shame in it, and no reason for secrecy. The simple information you want is not going to be a major focus of the book anyway, I suspect, and nobody here is going to steal your story. Others have written to ask similar stuff, and it helps for us to know your perspective.

Wardibald · 12 Oct 2012

Well, I wasn't ashamed and I felt no need for secrecy. The thought that someone would steal little old me's story sounds ridiculous (no offense). I was just wary of the "no advertising"-rule here. I have a bit of experience (on another forum) in that particular field.

That being said, thanks again for your help

Glenski · 13 Oct 2012

But you were secret about it. You never even hinted at a book until post #7.

Telling people you are researching for a book is not advertising. I can't see how you would imagine that it is.

Best of luck.

Wardibald · 13 Oct 2012

It's only because you asked, that I mentioned it. I assumed that those who were really curious about my line of questioning, would take a look at my introduction thread

Q: Japanese customs for accepting a guest at home

Wardibald

先輩

Speedy Japanese

先輩

Wardibald

先輩

Glenski

Just me

Wardibald

先輩

Glenski

Just me

Wardibald

先輩

Glenski

Just me

Wardibald

先輩

Glenski

Just me

Wardibald

先輩

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