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Help Presentation about my hometown

imyourjoy

Registered
3 Jan 2021
24
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Hi, I will be doing a PowerPoint presentation about my hometown in front of my class(with a picture of my house and a simple map of the neighborhood), I want to make sure that everything goes as smooth as possible so it would be great if you can leave any comments or point out any errors in the script that is attached below

I will also add English Translations for each line to that you have a better understanding about what I am trying to express. Any help is very much appreciated, Thank you in advance!

わたひの ふるさと
こんにちは わたしはxxxです。
Hi, my name is xxx

xxxじんです
I am from America.

わたしの ふるさとはxxxです。
my hometown is xxx

これは わたしのうちです。 (a pic of my house will be shown in the slides)
this is my house

わたしの ははは はなが すきですから、うちの そとに あかいはなが あります
There are red flowers outside my house because my mom likes flowers

うちの まえにこえんが あります。
There is a park in front of my house

おとうとは ときどき そこで サッカーを します。
my little brother plays soccer there sometimes

こえんのうしろに としょかんが あります。
There is a library behind the park

わたしは いつも ひとり そこで にほんごを べんきょうします。
I always study Japanese alone there.

とぢどき ともだちと いきます。
sometimes I go with my friend

としょかんの となりに ポストが あります
There is a post office next to the library

ポストの うしろに [hometown name]の ゆうめいな はくぶつかんが あります
the famous museum in [hometown name] is behind the post office

それびるは ぜんせん きれいですよ。
the building is totally beautiful

うちの ちかくに べんりな えきが あります。
there is also a convenient train station near my house

わたしは ときどき ははと えきへ いきます。
I go there with my mother sometimes

そして でんしゃで スーパーで たべものを かいます。
After that, we take the train to the supermarket to buy food

[hometown name]はちいさい まち ですが にぎやかですよ。
Although [hometown name] is a small town, it is lively

ここの ひとは とても すきです
the people here are very nice

ありがとう ございました
Thank you very much!


This is the simple map that I will show the class:
lst.jpg
 
わたの ふるさと
こんにちは わたしはxxxです。
Hi, my name is xxx

xxxじんです
I am from America.

わたしの ふるさとはxxxです。
my hometown is xxx

これは わたしのうちです。 (a pic of my house will be shown in the slides)
this is my house

わたしの は はなが すきですから、うちの そとに あかいはなが あります
There are red flowers outside my house because my mom likes flowers

うちの まえに こえんが あります。
There is a park in front of my house

おとうとは ときどき そこで サッカーを します。
my little brother plays soccer there sometimes

こえんのうしろに としょかんが あります。
There is a library behind the park

わたしは そこで いつも ひとりで にほんごを べんきょうします。
I always study Japanese alone there.

どき ともだちと いきます。
sometimes I go with my friend

としょかんの となりに ゆうびんきょくが あります
There is a post office next to the library

ゆうびんきょくの うしろに [hometown name]の ゆうめいな はくぶつかんが あります
the famous museum in [hometown name] is behind the post office

とても うつくしい たてもの です
the building is totally beautiful

うちの ちかくに べんりな えきが あります。
there is also a convenient train station near my house

わたしは ときどき ははと えきへ いきます。
I go there with my mother sometimes

そして でんしゃで スーパーまで たべものを かいにいきます
After that, we take the train to the supermarket to buy food

[hometown name]はちいさい まち ですが にぎやかです。(kill the よ)
Although [hometown name] is a small town, it is lively

わたしは ここの ひとたちが とても すきです
the people here are very nice.
Actually the sentence says you like them. If you want to say they are nice, you would say something like ここのひとたちはとてもやさしいです。

ありがとう ございま
Thank you very much!

I changed some stuff and fixed a couple of things. It was all understandable. There were a couple of minor spelling errors. I wouldn't end any sentence with よ in a presentation. It's fine among friends and colleagues, but in front of people in a presentation format I think its probably best to avoid it.
ポスト is the post office box (letter box). The post office itself is ゆうびんきょく.
I changed はは to 母 just because if you leave it as はは, you end up with はははは (haha wa hana), which to me would seem to be a potentially confusing text string for a beginner.
 
わたの ふるさと
こんにちは わたしはxxxです。
Hi, my name is xxx

xxxじんです
I am from America.

わたしの ふるさとはxxxです。
my hometown is xxx

これは わたしのうちです。 (a pic of my house will be shown in the slides)
this is my house

わたしの は はなが すきですから、うちの そとに あかいはなが あります
There are red flowers outside my house because my mom likes flowers

うちの まえに こえんが あります。
There is a park in front of my house

おとうとは ときどき そこで サッカーを します。
my little brother plays soccer there sometimes

こえんのうしろに としょかんが あります。
There is a library behind the park

わたしは そこで いつも ひとりで にほんごを べんきょうします。
I always study Japanese alone there.

どき ともだちと いきます。
sometimes I go with my friend

としょかんの となりに ゆうびんきょくが あります
There is a post office next to the library

ゆうびんきょくの うしろに [hometown name]の ゆうめいな はくぶつかんが あります
the famous museum in [hometown name] is behind the post office

とても うつくしい たてもの です
the building is totally beautiful

うちの ちかくに べんりな えきが あります。
there is also a convenient train station near my house

わたしは ときどき ははと えきへ いきます。
I go there with my mother sometimes

そして でんしゃで スーパーまで たべものを かいにいきます
After that, we take the train to the supermarket to buy food

[hometown name]はちいさい まち ですが にぎやかです。(kill the よ)
Although [hometown name] is a small town, it is lively

わたしは ここの ひとたちが とても すきです
the people here are very nice.
Actually the sentence says you like them. If you want to say they are nice, you would say something like ここのひとたちはとてもやさしいです。

ありがとう ございま
Thank you very much!

I changed some stuff and fixed a couple of things. It was all understandable. There were a couple of minor spelling errors. I wouldn't end any sentence with よ in a presentation. It's fine among friends and colleagues, but in front of people in a presentation format I think its probably best to avoid it.
ポスト is the post office box (letter box). The post office itself is ゆうびんきょく.
I changed はは to 母 just because if you leave it as はは, you end up with はははは (haha wa hana), which to me would seem to be a potentially confusing text string for a beginner.
Thank you for your help! I appreciate it a lot!
 
In addition to all of Majestic-san's excellent corrections, allow me to add:

うちの まえには こえんが あります。
こえんのうしろに としょかんが あります。

公園 (park) is こえん, with a long vowel.
 
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