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Oldes in the army

Mycernius

The Hairy Wookie
4 Feb 2005
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Saw this today and found it amusing:

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ***-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. "My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry" We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some ******* that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, "I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical s-of-a-b....

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push-ups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them. If nothing else, put us on border patrol... we will have it secured the first night!
 
How right you are !

Go to any American Legion or VFW and all the old farts like me are full of fighting spirit(talk at least). I'd kill a hundred enemy to get away from my wife or work for a while, LOL. All we would ask is keep us supplied with booze and pain killers and don't make us do any exercise.

Uncle Frank

😊
 
Go to any American Legion or VFW and all the old farts like me are full of fighting spirit(talk at least). I'd kill a hundred enemy to get away from my wife or work for a while, LOL. All we would ask is keep us supplied with booze and pain killers and don't make us do any exercise.
Uncle Frank
😊

So basically you just want the perks that the military still offers today. I guess it's good that there is a cut-off age for reenlisting. You would put me out of a job Uncle Frank.

I thought of a campaign slogan for this idea.... "US Senior Brigade: we don't have much longer to live, but the enemy has even less time."
 
Isnツ´t it much cheaper to send a bunch of 18 year olds out to die an by chance kill the enemy ,than to train and invest into older more experienced soldiers ,even if they have a higher chance of eliminating the enemy?
 
Usually yes. Yet if the people are already retired. Then it is more like recycling. So it would be cheaper to reinstate those whom once served their purpose and now could be utilized for suicide.... err, I mean glory missions.
 
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push-ups after completing basic training.

i swear, this was the funniest line.. i couldn't stop laughing my *** off.

raverboy
 
Well, if the new geezer military needs a rip-snortin', hellraisin' sailor, I'm your man! Where do I sign up? :D
 
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