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My Japanese girlfriend is pregnant and in Japan i'm trying to get a job there

  • Thread starter Thread starter user42784
  • Start date Start date
cheers for all the help, getting the certificate of no impediment but is gonna arrive when i am in Japan and my family will post it to me via DHL super aeroplane express.

sow e are getting married on the 4th January in Tokyo, I am very excited.

But she is thinking about living in England, i would rather live in Japan. My fiance thinks it would be best for our child, because he/she will be haf Japanese and she thinks people in Japan will discriminate the child because he/she will not be full Japanese.

I am happy to teach English but she thinks in the next 5 years I will be on a lot more money iN England, which is true, but i have little passion for my job, I work 50+ hours a week. iw ould never force her to do anything against her will.

she wasnt to live in England and I Japan

what do you guys advise?
 
She has only studied in England.
You have never been to Japan, yet you want to live here. Why?

She has more experience in both countries, but what exactly are her plans after moving to the UK? Work or just stay at home and take care of the household?

You have little passion for your current job. The job or the career?
Can you change either? Figure out what that will entail. What do you want out of life? You're only 25. Plenty of time to change things.
 
She has only studied in England.
You have never been to Japan, yet you want to live here. Why?

She has more experience in both countries
Click to expand...
Exactly and she is right about a half Japanese child living in Japan. If you have a better job in England thats even more reason to stay.
 


her plans would be just to look after baby in England, but she has a job in japan and I could get job as well working for same company until she gives bi=rth adn we would be making a nice amount between us for a few months for when our child is born.

I have been to Japan I went twice last year, I have been interested in japanese culture for a long time, way before I met my girlfriend, i was actually going to apply for the JET scheme but i met her and decided not to.


Drew-san said:
Exactly and she is right about a half Japanese child living in Japan. If you have a better job in England thats even more reason to stay.
Click to expand...

I can respect any culture and appreciate it, just wish the discrimination in Japan would change, here's for hoping
 
That's possible, but not in the time frame your child will be going through the school system.
 
Drew-san said:
Exactly and she is right about a half Japanese child living in Japan. If you have a better job in England thats even more reason to stay.
Click to expand...

Living in Tokyo is not really a problem in regards to discrimination.

I agree with staying in England. Japan doesn't pay much relative to some Western countries.
 
Drew-san said:
Exactly and she is right about a half Japanese child living in Japan.
Click to expand...
How would you know? You've never even been to Japan, according to your profile!

Some "haafu" children do all right.
Some are bullied.
Some go on to be major talentos.
 
You have job and income in England !
Japan is an adventure for you .
Stay where you are for the next few years .
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush !
Plan annual holidays in Japan !
 
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How's her English? Even if you do decide to live in England it might be more comfortable for her to have the baby in Japan where she can easily understand everything the ob/gyn tells her and where she will have her mother to help her for the first few weeks/months.
 
A birth in the hand is worth two in the bush !
I sure hope you mean "a BIRD in the hand..." but it's pretty funny this way
 
Glenski said:
How would you know? You've never even been to Japan, according to your profile!
Some "haafu" children do all right.
Some are bullied.
Some go on to be major talentos.
Click to expand...

I've never been to Africa either, but I know there are starving kids with AIDS there. I've never been to China, but I hear they have a huge wall.
It's common knowledge.
 
Drew-san said:
I've never been to Africa either, but I know there are starving kids with AIDS there. I've never been to China, but I hear they have a huge wall.
It's common knowledge.
Click to expand...
Gimme a break. I live in Japan and have a haafu child. What you read and what is reality are different.
 
Glenski said:
How would you know? You've never even been to Japan, according to your profile!
Some "haafu" children do all right.
Some are bullied.
Some go on to be major talentos.
Click to expand...

You ever notice that Japanese tv/music has a disproportionate amount of half talent compared to Japan industry and politics? This is just an observation though. Like the programming on NHK for children in the morning and afternoon(I have two boys). Some programs have half the kids as mixed race...forgot the name of the show. Sometimes I think the only reason they are there is because they are half. Yet these opputnuities would not be afforded them in other parts of Japanese society.
 
The government is inbred. Many politicians are second or third generation politicians. Do you believe they actually TRY to keep out the haafus?

Yes, many of the language programs have haafus. Disproportionate? How can you figure? By their very nature, it suits them and their inherent talents (as long as the non-Japanese parent keeps his language and heritage going; not all do). Makes it easier and more entertaining and accurate to see/hear someone spout off both languages with perfect pronunciation. Where else can you find such people in large numbers here?

I watch a lot of kids' TV programs but I don't see all that many mixed race kids on there. If anything, they want to show that Japanese only can do the work (learning).

So, are you saying by all the above that haafus are reduced to working only in that sort of entertainment industry? I am confused why you brought it up.
 
Well,

I believe that in Japan, it would be exceptional to live as a couple with a child and not be married. I believe the mother's family would be really crazy (more in this story). When it happens, and it is very rare, it has the meaning the father does not "recognize" the child.

Also, even without a baby, it is not really the norm to live together before getting married. This is more common though.

Anyways, living in Japan is a good experience. However, you may want to work out the financials for your life after you come to Japan. Conversation Teacher salaries in Japan may not be enough for you to sustain a family (depends on the lifestyle you wish, where you live...).

Drew-san said:
A rushed marriage is generally not a good thing. I think he should spend a good amount of time with her in Japan before he rushes into something like that. It could be a big mistake.
Click to expand...
 
All the best of luck for you! I suppose you guys are married now, so congratulations!

I'm partly in the same boat as you. Visa problems, paper work, etc etc and most of all, deciding the country where to live! For us it might also be a battle between UK and Japan, and also Finland lurking in the background...

But to be honest, for the child, I think Japan might be better. It's safer in Japan than in UK, and the mother can understand everything that concerns her and her baby.
I hope you don't mind, but that's why I felt uncomfortable in UK. It didn't feel safe. Country with many nice things, but for children Japan might still be a nicer place to be...and this is just my opinion - not a fact.
 
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