Everyone in this world is kind of messed up. I agree with y'all that Miyavi is most of all angry at himslef, and i think he is angry because he's been given the responsibility of all these people looking up to him as their hero. But just because he is angry at being given the responsibility, does not mean the responsibility goes away. He should not spread his anger to everyone just because he is angry. He has no right to destroy other people's beliefs - which is what he is doing right now in songs like "kimi i negai wo" and "nowhere god". Certainly I see the lighter optimistic meanings that these songs may have, but the darkness, the cahos, the anger, the confusion is all subliminally channeled into the unsuspecting masses... and I am not sure that Miyavi (or anyone for that matter) has the right to do that.
Have you ever seen the live footage of "nowhere god"? it is housands of adoring fans going crazy, screaming that there is no god... not because they came to that conclusion by themselves after a while of life experience, and a lot of thought, but because he, MIYAVI, told them so. Thusly I suppose I am angry at Miyavi fot this because I believe that if people choose to not believe in the existence of a god, they should do it because it makes the most sense to them, not because someone told them so. The opposite is also true - people should believe in a god because it makes sense to them, not because someone else with a large following and many pretty words said so. THe choice of believeing or not believing should be an individual's own - not the priest's or Miyavi's, or anyone else's.
It's as if Miyavi's pushing it, trying to see what he can get away with, how badly he can screw with the world, so maybe he won't be the only one who's so terribly disillusioned and screwed up, so maybe he can fit in at last. As someone who's spent her entire life on the outside looking in, I can understand his desire to do that. Perhaps I am angry because I might have done the same in his place. But I am also angry because Miyavi has the responsibility of his fans, and he has no right to sneer at them and encourage them to be idiots for his own personal amusement (aho odori, anyone? i'm amazed people actually did it too.) None at all. his anger is his own, not ours. We didn't do anything to him except love him, and he hates us for it.
I wish I could help him somehow. Anyhow. I resolved last night to do anything and everything to get him and others like him to see how badly they're messing themselves up. (there are plenty of others like him, believe me, i know many. the difference is that while they would do what he is doing if they could, they don't have the appeal and the fan following and that insane talent he was granted by chance or by a higher power) He was supposed to make me hate myself. instead he made me a better person. why? I don't want to be a good person. I can't stand the selfless people who preach self important things. I don't want to be like that. But I just can't stand seeing him and all these other people who can maybe somehow be helped but they're destroying themselves and everyone who cares about them along with them. Miyavi could use his appeal for a greater good, instead, he is just being messed up. Move past it man. The world is full of idiots,. That's not news.
Maybe if he had just one person who loved him unconditionally and didn't betray him and didn't leave him no matter what he did, maybe Miyavi could be... helped. Maybe. But can such a person even exist???
With that said, both of you make excellent points... I'm really sorry again for all of this... I just wish I was one of the idiots who didn't see any better whom Miyavi hates, maybe then I'd be happier.