- 15 Nov 2002
- 1,837
- 64
You've heard of the dog who ate homework, but what about the cat who
unplugged the alarm clock? These days, people are getting very creative
when they don't want to go to work.
In CareerBuilder's survey "Out of the Office," more than one-third of
U.S. workers say they played hooky from work over the last twelve months.
Thirty-five percent of workers admit to calling in sick when they felt
well at least once during the last year and one-in-ten said they did so
three or more times.
I was sprayed by a skunk.
I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.
My bus broke down and was held up by robbers.
I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.
I forgot to come back to work after lunch.
I couldn't find my shoes.
I hurt myself bowling.
I was spit on by a venomous snake.
I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow.
A hitman was looking for me.
My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser.
I eloped.
My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up.
My cat unplugged my alarm clock.
I had to be there for my husband's grand jury trial.
I had to ship my grandmother's bones to India.
I forgot what day of the week it was.
Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.
A tree fell on my car.
My monkey died.
***********************
A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up
leaving together.
They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she
notices that his bedroom is completely packed with soft, sweet, cuddly
teddy bears.
There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute,
cuddly teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering the entire wall!
It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them
and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into
organizing the display. There were Small Bears all along the bottom shelf.
Medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and Huge,
enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf.
She found it strange for a young man to have such a large a collection of
Teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but doesn't mention this
to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side.
All the while thinking to herself ... Oh bless! Maybe this guy could be the
one! Maybe he could father my children?...etc.
She turns to him...they kiss... and then they rip each other's clothes off
and make hot steamy love. After an intense, explosive night of raw passion
with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow,
the woman rolls over, strokes his chest and asks coyly "Well, how was it?"
The guy says: "Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf"
unplugged the alarm clock? These days, people are getting very creative
when they don't want to go to work.
In CareerBuilder's survey "Out of the Office," more than one-third of
U.S. workers say they played hooky from work over the last twelve months.
Thirty-five percent of workers admit to calling in sick when they felt
well at least once during the last year and one-in-ten said they did so
three or more times.
I was sprayed by a skunk.
I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.
My bus broke down and was held up by robbers.
I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.
I forgot to come back to work after lunch.
I couldn't find my shoes.
I hurt myself bowling.
I was spit on by a venomous snake.
I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow.
A hitman was looking for me.
My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser.
I eloped.
My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up.
My cat unplugged my alarm clock.
I had to be there for my husband's grand jury trial.
I had to ship my grandmother's bones to India.
I forgot what day of the week it was.
Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.
A tree fell on my car.
My monkey died.
***********************
A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up
leaving together.
They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she
notices that his bedroom is completely packed with soft, sweet, cuddly
teddy bears.
There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute,
cuddly teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering the entire wall!
It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them
and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into
organizing the display. There were Small Bears all along the bottom shelf.
Medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and Huge,
enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf.
She found it strange for a young man to have such a large a collection of
Teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but doesn't mention this
to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side.
All the while thinking to herself ... Oh bless! Maybe this guy could be the
one! Maybe he could father my children?...etc.
She turns to him...they kiss... and then they rip each other's clothes off
and make hot steamy love. After an intense, explosive night of raw passion
with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow,
the woman rolls over, strokes his chest and asks coyly "Well, how was it?"
The guy says: "Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf"
