Japanese American, mixing cultures

Hallo!
I was interested in the opinions of others on this particular subject:
Japanese by blood, but raised in America.
I myself am Japanese and was raised in Oakland, CA. Although my mother spoke Japanese during my earlier years, she remarried to a man who knew little about the Japanese culture and spoke only menu.
That being said, I was raised an American kid. However, as I've grown my interest in my parent's culture (my father was Japanese as well) has grown quite a bit. My biggest dilemma with this, though, is the fact that although I look Japanese, I am American (frequently people that I have just met expect me to speak the language, as well as act like the stereo typical Japanese young woman)
I was wondering if anyone else had the same problem as I; visiting the country of my parents and yet feeling a stranger.

It's not quite the same thing, but I had similar problems when I was younger because of my central american heritage.

My dad's side of the family comes from a tribe of native americans that lived on both sides of what is now the U.S./Mexico border, but even he didn't speak spanish--in fact, I'm fairly certain the tribe had it's own language and didn't speak spanish at all.

Luckily, I haven't had that problem since I lost my tan--otherwise I'd probably get stopped by the cops a lot more often...

Your post strikes a cord with me because I have 3 daughters who might someday have similar issues. My wife and I have made every effort to make sure that they speak the language and understand as much Japanese culture as possible, and although they go to Japan every summer to attend Japanese school, I think they identify themselves as "Americans".

While I lived in Japan I had a friend from Hawaii who was genetically Japanese, but was really hawaiian in every other way. He (while looking Japanese) spoke no Japanese. I on the other hand have blonde hair blue eyes, and yet can speak Japanese (at least I like to think I can) Sometimes when we were together in Japan we would go into a store and I would talk to a clerk (in Japanese) and the clerk would carry on a conversation looking at Mark while he never uttered a sound. It was like they were more comfortable looking at him while talking to me. It used to drive Mark crazy, he struggled to learn the language, but felt like everyone expected him to pick it up by magic, while if I someone who didn't look Japanese managed to string together a 3 word sentence the Japanese would be so impressed and praise the gaijin for his intelligence and hard work.

I think if you really have a desire to learn about your heritage, that you will find yourself frustrated at times. However I'm sure that the positive end rewards from such an undertaking will far outway the frustrations. Of course you will feel like a stranger at times after all you really are, no matter how you look, you're as American as anybody. You just might have the opportunity to learn about another culture from a more personal stand than those like me who have no genetic tie to Japan.

I wish you luck.

Sometimes when we were together in Japan we would go into a store and I would talk to a clerk (in Japanese) and the clerk would carry on a conversation looking at Mark while he never uttered a sound. It was like they were more comfortable looking at him while talking to me.

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So this happens to other people too eh? I can recall more than a handful of times I'd be out with my buddy Anthony (playing the blond haired blue eyed American who speaks way better Japanese than I, his Japanese American counterpart) and he'd ask a question, and I'd get the answer. It was kinda funny getting asked for our order and having to look at Anthony mouth the words over the waiter's shoulder. We eventually turned the tables and had him act as my Japanese translator while I played the stereotypical gaijin, speaking in loud English and pointing at random things. It was probably unnerving to have to deal with a loud asian and a white kid spouting keigo translations.

As far as dealing with your heritage or ancestry, while I think everyone benefits from learning about where they may have originally come from, your heritage is wherever you call home. I don't identify myself as Japanese or Chinese, even though that's technically my background. Having been raised in the US, I'm much more comfortable being an outsider in Japan than fitting in. In fact, there were times I'd go out of my way to show off my gaijinness because I felt suffocated by Japan.