It came out of nowhere... or did it?

[TexMurphy01]

Hi guys,

I was writing a short Japanese essay for my teacher on the subject of Japanese culture. I'm not exactly high level, but it's all good practise, so I gave it a go.

I wanted to put a small introduction and say something like 'I like Japanese culture' and perhaps compare it to something. So I said it was more interesting than American culture (first thing that came to mind).

So I wrote:

"Watashi wa nihon bunka ga suki desu. Naze nara nihon bunka wa amerika bunka yori omoshiroi desu."

She said it was bad because the 'amerika' part 'came out of nowhere'. This really confused me, and I was hoping someone here could shed some light on the situation.

It would be fair to say she should explain these things properly, but she doesn't so... I'm left with coming to the internet.

Thanks in advance.

 

[waitingiskillingme]

The way you wrote it it sounds like there are only two cultures in the world - American and Japanese, so you had to pick one.
the topic is Japanese culture and it is ok to mention it, but "America" really came out of nowhere. If you just said "in today's globalized world which is overwhelmed by products of American culture, there are some others interesting to you like Japanese culture, because of blah, blah, blah,... this is just the matter of style of writing, you shouldn't be worried too much about it...

 

[nice gaijin]

Would it perhaps have to do with the fact that you're in England? Why would you suddenly start comparing Japanese to American culture? There's no context, so even if your grammar is fine, the sentence seems random. It's like me saying "I sure like Australian culture, it's way more interesting than Indian culture," when I live in neither of those places.

Instead of starting off with comparing all of Japanese culture to something else, why not pick some specific things about Japanese culture that you like. Once you've established what you like, you can make comparisons, but it's probably best to draw comparisons with things that seem contextually relevant... like perhaps your own culture?

 

[TexMurphy01]

Interesting points, so thanks for those. Oh, and I'm from the UK, although we get a taste of the US culture here.

Nice gaijin: if you said that you liked Australian culture over Indian culture, I would take it as an implication that you knew about those things already. I mean it might prompt a confirmation question like, "Ah, so you're familiar with Indian culture then?", but I wouldn't see it as out of place. But with American culture, as in this case, it's quite a global force, so I figure quite a lot of people are familiar with it on some level.

 

[nice gaijin]

I think you're stretching. In an essay about Japanese culture, your reference for liking Japanese culture was that you found it more interesting than another foreign culture. If that is all you written, "out of nowhere" is a perfectly reasonable response. If you provide no specifics, your generalization is just another random sentence thrown out there.

 

[Toritoribe]

Besides the problem of 'came out of nowhere', your example still has another awkwardness. You need to say "kara" after "omoshiroi".

Naze nara nihon no bunka wa sore igai no kuni no bunka yori omoshiroi kara desu.

 

[TexMurphy01]

Is that always the case with a 'naze nara' sentence?

 

[Toritoribe]

"Kara" is more crucial rather than "naze nara" in those sentences.

Nihon no bunka ga suki desu. Hoka no bunka yori omoshiroi kara desu.