Ah, yes !! I can see something there, in the crystal ball. . .
Of course, I understand your application of 'scale'; and your welcome, since that helped bring out some baggage that I had not yet seen.
My experience has been very different from yours, obviously we are two very different personalities, etc..... I could not, with my experience here in Japan--and probably longer than yours--agree with the degree you have stated in the above post. The far greater number of people who I can say know me here, use my name when referring to me. Of course, I let my name be known, and I make every effort to remember theirs. (of course this is nothing special. . . right?)
I have been spoken of in joking scenarios as 'henna gaijin' and that does not bother me at all because I am going along with the joke--it is by no means a racial slur.
That the tendency to distinguish between those who are nationals and those who are not is perhaps stronger than especially America, and a number of European countries (perhaps) is a natural, historically and geographically instilled psyche. Of course, it is for us to try to reach out, become one with the Japanese national, and see it from their point of being to balance whatever misgivings nature has served them. That is an opportunity for us non-Japanese. Then, in turn, we can help them see it from a different perspective--giving them the opportunity to learn and share.
Perhaps, Maciamo, it could be said that the degree to which you had felt unaccepted by the Japanese had been proportionatly equal to that of your disallowing (psychological refusal) yourself to see yourself as unaccepted, thus setting up a mental blockade which effectively caused the end result to be just that--not being seen by the Japanese heart as being in the group due to a manner of social operation which didn't give the Japanese the opportunity to re-evaluate first impressions.
I'm sorry it didn't work out.☝