Danged near to a cut-n-paste. I bet it started out as one.
Yes, it did start out as a copy/paste, but there were some changes. What's the problem?
Key changes from last year:
-Re: domestic violence, my wife only recently confirmed that he has become physically abusive. The extent of it isn't clear, as my MIL doesn't provide complete details to my wife.
-Re: "saving people from themselves," my wife recently confirmed that my MIL would very much like to leave, but lacks the resources to do so. It's possible she will decline to leave even if resources are made available, but we haven't gotten to that point yet.
-My wife recently became a US citizen. My MIL has expressed interest in living in the US; my wife can now sponsor an immediate green card for my MIL, but not for my SIL. After consulting with a US-based immigration lawyer, we've learned that "humanitarian parole" may be an option for my SIL, but that's a pretty shaky proposition, as it would have to be renewed year after year until she became eligible for a green card.
I can understand that the glacial pace of things makes me look like the biggest flake on the internet, but there are major obstacles to deal with.
Glenski said:
I don't understand why 2 Japanese women are unable to use the Yellow Pages or Internet to find what you want...
Even city hall should be able to provide some advice on domestic abuse, which would lead to suggestions or a list of lawyers.
My MIL can't do it because my FIL is home most of the time (he's retired). It would be a problem if she started receiving (and having to explain to him) phone calls from a lawyer. Moreover, because he's holding all the purse strings, she lacks the financial resources to pay a lawyer.
Mike Cash said:
Hope I have somebody that diligent looking out for my best interests in my decrepitude...
Apathy is not an issue here. My wife cares deeply about her mom, and on the rare occasions they get to talk on the phone (when her father leaves the house), my wife is typically very sad afterwards, and sometimes in tears, over her mom's situation.
The biggest obstacles I see right now are pessimism and risk-aversion. My wife tends toward the extreme on both counts, and it's been difficult to convince her to even begin gathering information about the options, let alone contemplate taking definite action at some point in the future. I can't do this stuff independently - I don't read or speak Japanese - I have to do it with her, so my first task has been to convince her that it's even worth looking into. Unlike my FIL, I'm not going to scream and yell at my wife until I get my way; the best I can manage is to keep bringing it up from time to time for discussion and gentle encouragement.
Re: the domestic violence info that Glenski provided last year, what I got out of those links was that Japan has strengthened its laws WRT domestic violence 11 years ago, but that the new laws aren't uniformly/reliably enforced, which makes it difficult for victims to trust that they will find the protection they need. Moreover, having my MIL and SIL flee to a short-term shelter won't help unless they can secure the financial resources they need to live independently for the rest of their lives; the only feasible means to do that is a divorce that ensures my MIL receives a substantial portion of their assets.
FrustratedDave, thanks for the bar association links; through them we found the phone # for the Shiga BA, so that will likely be our first phone call.