Help about titles (さん,　君,　ちゃん, etc)

Coming from a country were titles are extremly rare (I honestly have never used or heard one being said in a modern conversation) titles as -san, -kun, -chan, with more, are slightly confusing. I know how and when to use them, but I don't know when to stop using them. Among good friends I have seen titles being used and titles not being used, but how do you know when the listener would not get offended from not using titles? (And couldn't using a title among close friends make the relationship seem more "distant"?)
Sorry if this is a stupid question, but it's slightly hard to grasp.

(Since this is my first post; hello everyone.)

Why not ask it to your friend whether he feels right about it if you stop using a title ?

I want to ask something about 君;

I really don't understand the usage of 君. I read somewhere that it is used to title someone with a lower rank/degree than you have. But, I have seen lots of counterexamples in anime and real life conversations. And some say that it is used to address males who are younger than us. I also come across that teachers address their students with 君.

Can someone explain it?

hkBattousai said:

I want to ask something about 君;

I really don't understand the usage of 君. I read somewhere that it is used to title someone with a lower rank/degree than you have. But, I have seen lots of counterexamples in anime and real life conversations. And some say that it is used to address males who are younger than us. I also come across that teachers address their students with 君.

Can someone explain it?

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I'm assuming no one searched, either this site or Google. From wikipedia on Japanese titles :
Japanese honorifics - Wikipedia

Kun (君, Kun?) is an informal and intimate honorific primarily used towards males. (It is still used towards females, but rarely.) It is used by persons of senior status in addressing those of junior status, by males of roughly the same age and status when addressing each other, and by anyone in addressing male children. In business settings, women, particularly young women, may also be addressed as kun by older males of senior status. It is sometimes used towards male pets as well.

Schoolteachers typically address male students using kun, while female students are addressed as san or chan. The use of kun to address male children is similar to the use of san when addressing adults. In other words, not using kun would be considered rude in most situations, but, like the rule for using san in reference to family members, kun is traditionally not used when addressing or referring to one's own child (unless kun is part of a nickname: "Akira-kun"―Akkun).

In the Diet of Japan, diet members and ministers are called kun by the chairpersons. For example, Junichiro Koizumi is called "Koizumi Jun'ichirō-kun". The only exception was that when Takako Doi was the chairperson of the lower house, she used the san title.

Does this answer your question ?

Thank you Elizabeth-san.

There is one more thing I would like to ask;
What is "shama" (not "sama") is used for?
I hear it sometimes, and there's no information about it in that wikipedia link.

hkBattousai said:

What is "shama" (not "sama") is used for?

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I'm not sure, but I belive it's like "sama" but used toward childrens. And that it was used (not anymore) for example servants to adress the childrens of whom they were serving under. But, as I said, I'm not sure.

hkBattousai said:

There is one more thing I would like to ask;
What is "shama" (not "sama") is used for?
I hear it sometimes, and there's no information about it in that wikipedia link.

Click to expand...

If you have seen "shama" used in ways similar to the honorific "sama," it is a "baby-talk" variation of "sama," used often in anime/manga when the speaker is pretending to act like a little child.

Standard talk:
Akira-sama wa watashi no akogare desu. (Akira is my dream (guy).)

Baby-talk:
Akira-shama wa watachi no akogare dechu.

Please note that little kids don't actually talk like that!

epigene said:

If you have seen "shama" used in ways similar to the honorific "sama," it is a "baby-talk" variation of "sama," used often in anime/manga when the speaker is pretending to act like a little child.
Standard talk:
Akira-sama wa watashi no akogare desu. (Akira is my dream (guy).)
Baby-talk:
Akira-shama wa watachi no akogare dechu.
Please note that little kids don't actually talk like that!

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こういう話し方は普通の幼児語でしょうね。舌ったらず の小さな子の発音ですね。

I've never heard of しゃま either and wouldn't have been particularly suspicious that kids didn't talk like that. It's a little frightening, though. Their first attempts at speech come out with a difficult title. And trying to call the guy they have their eye on 'sama' no less...