Afaik one would normally use nakute in this situation, as thats what you would use with a negative. Nai de kinda sounds like "without" to me.
Like "iwanai de tsuzuke", "continue without saying [it]".
Although thats only what my instincts tell me. From what I know, in your case that de should be the -te form of the copula.
~nakute is the negative ~te form conjugation, your first sentence uses it correctly. You can also use it for such structures as "~nakutemo ii," "~nakutewa ikenai."
~nai de cannot be used interchangeably with ~nakute (so your second sentence doesn't work). It could mean "without" as in Derfel's examples. It is also used in negative requests, like "shinai de kudasai."
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