Compatibility or Spark?

[Brooker]

@nurizeko...
But compatibility doesn't neccessarily mean that you have common interests. It just means that your qualities work well together. It's like fitting together pieces of a puzzle. Could be your interests are opposite, but that it works well when you put the two together (one likes to drive and the other likes to be the passenger type thing).

Compatibility isn't such a simple thing. It's not just as easy as looking for a partner who is just like you. It takes time (and maybe trial and error) to figure you what qualities you're compatible with.

 

[Tsuyoiko]

People are talking a lot of sense here! I agree with Kinsao about compatibility meaning having the same values. My husband and I are compatible because we care about the same things - we have the same political views, the same attitude to finances, we are both homebirds etc. But, from the start we had 'spark' as well. The thing that attracted me to my husband was his cheek - he says things I would never say in a million years and it still has the same effect on me now. So like Nuri says, we agree on the things that are important, but it is the differences that make us interesting to each other. Thinking about it, it was the spark that came first - some of the things that make us compatible I didn't even know about until after we were married. We're just lucky I guess.

 

[Doc]

Just remember that complete polar opposites do not attract, despite popular belief.

Doc

 

[Duo]

Sure they do, in fact biologically speaking, it is something preferable. If you find someone with the complete opposite immune system as urs, chances are their smell will attract u to them. But also intellectually speaking it doesn't matter if there are different values or attitudes.... there is something in that difference, u want to dominate that other person that is so different from you...you want to have her... now whether it would be stable relationship it is different, but people are often mistaking here relationships and attraction.

 

[Doc]

Actually psychology has proven that opposite do not attract for the very reasons that people who are completely different in one another from tastes, politics, standards, etc do not attract, and if so will fall apart in a relationship very quickly.

Doc

 

[Tsuyoiko]

Sure they do, in fact biologically speaking, it is something preferable. If you find someone with the complete opposite immune system as urs, chances are their smell will attract u to them. But also intellectually speaking it doesn't matter if there are different values or attitudes.... there is something in that difference, u want to dominate that other person that is so different from you...you want to have her... now whether it would be stable relationship it is different, but people are often mistaking here relationships and attraction.

I half agree with you. There is a difference between people you are physically attracted to, and people you would want a relationship with. But in my own experience I have never been attracted to someone because of intellectual differences, but only in spite of them. If I am ever attracted to someone who has different attitudes or values it is only a purely physical attraction.

 

[Brooker]

There are lots of girls I am physically attracted to that I would have no interest in dating because I know that we wouldn't work together. I find myself attracted to girls who seem like we would be compatible. Some super hot blond model wearing the latest fashion might be attractive to me, but I know that we wouldn't have much in common, so looking is all I care to do.

 

[Duo]

I guess for me there is a difference in aproach. Of course we all seek to find someone that is attractive and also intellectually stimulating and has many ideas similar to ourselves. However, knowing that someone may not work with me, or is different in many aspects shouldn't be sign to stop or not to aproach. As long as there is that spark of attraction I think there is a chance to have something. You can find the person that best fits you out there but you may not be attracted to them...

 

[Zauriel]

I voted for sprak rather than compatibility because my interest in relationships was almost always motivated by spark.

 

[monrepo]

Spark motivates me more.