Mycernius
The Hairy Wookie
- 4 Feb 2005
- 4,644
- 203
Seen this in a 'Private Eye' (English satyrical magazine) in their Funny Old World Section, thought you might like it
"Burning books is an old American tradition," Pastor Scott Breedlove told reporters outside the Jesus Church in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. "It's part of our heritage. For centuries Christians have been making bonfires out of books and magazines that offend the sight of God, and nowadays the list doesn't stop with printed material. There are also videos, DVDs, CD-ROMs, and provocative clothing that displease our Lord. So why won't the city officials let us have a fire permit, so we can make a mighty conflagration of sinfulness outside our church?"
But Brad Brennerman (the district fire chief for Linn County) was resolute. "It's not a question of religious persecution. we simply don't want a situation where people are burning rubbish as a recreational fire. When we told Pastor Breedlove we wouldn't grant him a permit to start a fire outside the Jesus Church, he said that we ought to at least allow him to build a bonfire outside city limits. But that's not acceptable either, because county air pollution rules ban hauling material outside the city to burn it."
Pastor Breedlove complained that "in the end, they suggested we could use a shredder to destroy the offending material, but that didn't seem biblical enough to me. So we've decided to dump the books, videos, CD-Roms and clothing into trash cans instead, and light candles on top of the lids. Candles don't need a fire permit, and at least this will be a symbolic act of burning"
(KWWL News[Iowa])
"Burning books is an old American tradition," Pastor Scott Breedlove told reporters outside the Jesus Church in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. "It's part of our heritage. For centuries Christians have been making bonfires out of books and magazines that offend the sight of God, and nowadays the list doesn't stop with printed material. There are also videos, DVDs, CD-ROMs, and provocative clothing that displease our Lord. So why won't the city officials let us have a fire permit, so we can make a mighty conflagration of sinfulness outside our church?"
But Brad Brennerman (the district fire chief for Linn County) was resolute. "It's not a question of religious persecution. we simply don't want a situation where people are burning rubbish as a recreational fire. When we told Pastor Breedlove we wouldn't grant him a permit to start a fire outside the Jesus Church, he said that we ought to at least allow him to build a bonfire outside city limits. But that's not acceptable either, because county air pollution rules ban hauling material outside the city to burn it."
Pastor Breedlove complained that "in the end, they suggested we could use a shredder to destroy the offending material, but that didn't seem biblical enough to me. So we've decided to dump the books, videos, CD-Roms and clothing into trash cans instead, and light candles on top of the lids. Candles don't need a fire permit, and at least this will be a symbolic act of burning"
(KWWL News[Iowa])
