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As a result

hirashin

Sempai
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8 Apr 2004
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Dear native English speakers, I am trying to make an easy sentence using "as a result". Could you help me?

Would this sentences sound right? It's about the heavy rain that occured last July.

The heavy rain broke the banks of the two rivers near the small town. As a result, a lot of people drowned to death in their houses.

Hirashin
 
Thanks for the help, Buntaro. I just noticed I made a mistake. "This sentences" should be "these sentences". Is there another mistake or unnatural expression there?
 
I do not like the usage of "would". I like "Do" better: (This is an example where subjunctive mood (仮定法) does not work.)

"Do these sentences sound right?"

The usage of "broke" is probably wrong. Heavy rain can overflow the banks of a river without breaking the banks. I would say, "The heavy rain caused the river to overflow its banks near the town."

The use of "to death" is redundant. It is okay to say, "As a result, a lot of people drowned in their houses."

I would also change "houses" to "homes": "As a result, a lot of people drowned in their homes." People can have houses that are not homes, or are not their homes.
 
The riverbanks got broken at that time. When you say "overflow", it does not mean the riverbanks were broken. So I think the word "broke" is correct.
 
In American English, banks of a river do not break. (It is impossible.) I think the word you want to use is "levee".
 
I see. I understand. So how about this?

The heavy rain broke the levees of the two rivers near the small town. As a result, a lot of people drowned in their homes.
 
That sounds good to me. But... I thought you wanted an easy sentence?

Here are easier/shorter examples.
I forgot to put on sunblock. As a result, I got sunburned.
When the hurricane was coming, many people ignored the evacuation orders. As a result, some people died.
I didn't study for the test. As a result, I received a poor grade.
I didn't hear my alarm clock. As a result, I overslept and missed my train.
 
Hirashin,

It is a difference between "direct cause" and "indirect cause". The rain's cause of the damage to the levees is indirect, so we need to indicate it:

"The heavy rain caused the levees of the two rivers near the small town to break."
 
Thanks for the help, Buntaro and mdchachi.
Here are easier/shorter examples.
I forgot to put on sunblock. As a result, I got sunburned.
When the hurricane was coming, many people ignored the evacuation orders. As a result, some people died.
I didn't study for the test. As a result, I received a poor grade.
I didn't hear my alarm clock. As a result, I overslept and missed my train.
Mdchachi, they are of great help to me. Thanks.
 
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