gaijinalways
puzzled gaijin
- 15 Jan 2006
- 681
- 21
Hikikomori is a topic becoming more and more prominent here in japan, especially in the current recession. My first exposure to it happened before I even knew the word. On my arrival in Japan, my first language exchange partner related how her brother had spent most of his time in his bedroom for four years. The tolerance for parents of such behavior from their children is difficult to understand from a Western perspective. I do know of other societies that allow children to live at home until they marry, sometimes well into middleage, yet Japan seems to have a higher percentage of misfit youths who might not even consider getting employment, never mind regular employment.
That being said, whether repressing anger for such long times or releasing it more frequently is better is a loaded question, as both cultures rely on releasing the anger appropriately for that culture. Some fo the examples given don't seem appropriate, though whether people mugged someone out of anger or simply as a short cut to financial enrichment is hard to say.
I do seem to run into situations where people just blow up, but it doesn't happen so often. most likely the OP's uncle (and his penpal) has unrealistic expectations of someone from outside his culture. The uncle might also just be the type who has led a "culturally" sheltered life (I tend to think this whenever someone tells me about the 'unique' four seasons theory). I hope the OP can grin and bear it, I'm sure it has probably been a good learning experience for dealing with people who maybe don't have much patience or tolerance for people's behavior that doesn't follow their lifestyle blueprint.
That being said, whether repressing anger for such long times or releasing it more frequently is better is a loaded question, as both cultures rely on releasing the anger appropriately for that culture. Some fo the examples given don't seem appropriate, though whether people mugged someone out of anger or simply as a short cut to financial enrichment is hard to say.
I do seem to run into situations where people just blow up, but it doesn't happen so often. most likely the OP's uncle (and his penpal) has unrealistic expectations of someone from outside his culture. The uncle might also just be the type who has led a "culturally" sheltered life (I tend to think this whenever someone tells me about the 'unique' four seasons theory). I hope the OP can grin and bear it, I'm sure it has probably been a good learning experience for dealing with people who maybe don't have much patience or tolerance for people's behavior that doesn't follow their lifestyle blueprint.