Affectionate in public is bad?

[Hero]

Here's something I found on a site someone else posted in thread.

"The Japanese frown on open displays of affection. They do not touch in public."

Now my sensei said it is customary to not show emotions and such in public.
But come on! You can't be affectonate in public without being frowned upon?!

I always wondered why lots of ppl stared at me and my girl.

Maybe that's also why she pulled away from a kiss when we were in the company of her friend, lol.

Anyone else have experiences like this?

 

[PopCulturePooka]

Boolocks sturm and rang.

Maybe old fuddy duddies yes frown upon it, but old fuddy duddies are the same in every country.

Holding hands, hugging, affectionate touching (not fondling) are fine in public. I see Japanese kids do it all the time in public.

In fact it seems Japanese girls LOVE hugs and being held, no matter where. Ditto with hand holding.

Kissing in public? Some girls don't like too, others do.

I think most cultures sucking face and french kissing in public is a bit frowned on really. But quicker lip kisses etc are fine for most girls. Just a time and a place. Wlaking in the park together? Fine. At a movie? Maybe fine. In front of all her friends? Questionable. In the shops? Maybe a peck.


Thing I've noticed here is that many things we are told about Japan aren't entirely accurate, especially when regarding youth.

Affection in public may have been frowned upon many years ago, but now, for most people, its not a problem.


And anyway, if you're fine with showing affection and your lucky girlfriend is fine with showing affection in public who really cares what some stranger thinks?

 

[ask me now]

User defined limits?

I remember coming across this assertion in old guidebooks for the benefit of tourists. I regularly hold hands with my Japanese girlfriend and give her a peck on the cheek at stations when I see her off. She's quite touchy-feely at times, though we haven't had a full blown 'pash' in view of anyone as far as I know.
I think it's more of a generational thing. Younger people seem far less disapproving then their elders, but it's the elders who are usually the opinion formers and custodians of morals, goes for the rest of the world too.

 

[kirei_na_me]

It's one of the first things my husband told me he liked about living in the U.S. That couples could be affectionate(within reason) in public. Of course, he isn't from a big metropolis like Tokyo. The area he was from was more conservative.

 

[puKKa]

I had no idea that it was like that ^^

 

[WyteAnjal]

When I first met my bf who is Japanese we used to hold hands in public and kiss in public, but later he told me he doesnt like it because japanese people dont do that. So we dont do it anymore. And we live in America

 

[budd]

unh! yeah, that is typical though.

 

[EscaFlowne]

I think you should look at like,
"As long as you and partner share and feel that its cool, there there shouldn't be any problem."
This is 2004 and people should have a problem with showing a little affection in public. Besides the couple should be soooooooo focused on each other that they don't see anybody else.

 

[misa.j]

I don't recall seeing my parents being affectionate to each other as I grew up. They seemed rather rough or annoyed by the other; they are in the generation when people are embarrased to express their positive emotions to someone they love, I think.

My husband(American) used to complain how I didn't like receiving or giving physical attentions especially in public. I am getting better after being in the U.S. for a while, though.

 

[Trista]

Personally, I feel that all people differ in how they express their affection.