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A question about apologies

quamp

止まれません!
15 Jan 2007
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One thing us Americans are known for is being rude, at least that's what it seems. Well, in Japanese, I've noticed there are several ways to apologize for being rude.

Among them are:
失礼しました (shitsurei shimasu)
すいません (suimasen)
お邪魔します (ojama shimasu)
済まない (sumanai)
御免なさい(gomen nasai)

My questions are these: which ones are interchangeable and which aren't? What's the appropriate time to use which one?
 
This is quite a big question, as it pertains not only to the particular situation, but also the level of politeness it calls for. Here's a cursory overview as I see it. This is just off the top of my head, and I'm not a native speaker, so take it with the appropriate amount of salt.

suman/sumanai: frankly, I practically never hear this. Maybe between close friends? (also, I pretty much never see this or sumimasen in kanji) Your mileage may vary.

gomen [+ne]: common, quick, casual. pretty useful and common amongst good acquaintences.

sumimasen: more polite, good for accidentally bumping passers-by, or calling to a waiter/waitress. Can also be used as a thank you. suimasen is the same thing, though I've only heard it in kansai. I probably use this the most.

gomen nasai: even more polite yet, probably about as formal as one needs to get in most daily situations for an exchange student or tourist. (again, rarely see kanji for it)

moushiwake nai/omoushiwake arimasen/omoushiwake gozaimasen: They are all the same apology, with differing levels of formality. Literally "I have no excuse," it's probably the most polite phrase that equates to an apology. I use it when I feel that I've really inconvenienced someone.

ojama shimasu and shitsurei shimasu are more like kimarimonku (set phrases) than apologies. As examples, ojama shimasu would be something you say when you enter someone's home, and shitsurei shimasu would be something you say when you enter a professor's office, or end a phone call. Past tense forms are used as well, when leaving someone's home or office.
 
失礼しました (shitsurei shimasita)
This one sounds like a true apology when someone makes a small mistake, or when someone has intruded your privacy/room/house. I also often hear 失礼しま~す (shiturei shimaas) when someone is entering your room/house.

すいません (suimasen)
This one can be used universally I would say. It can be an apology, but also a way to attract attention ("excuse me"). People also use it when they receive something, like a present, a bill, anything really. In that context it's a way of showing gratitude, and feeling sorry for the effort you have put the other person through for giving you the present, bill, etc.

お邪魔します (ojama shimasu)
I like this one, used when entering someone's house.

済まない (sumanai)
Now this sounds very sincere. Someone has done something really bad and irreversible, and regrets it.. I haven't heard it that often really. The more casual すまん (suman) is used often.

御免なさい(gomen nasai)
This is a pretty universal apology. The pretty similar 御免ください (gomen kudasai) can be used to attract attention in front of someone's house/at the door.

Well I hope it helps!! 😅 御免なさい for my amateur explanations!!
 
O.k.... 有難う、👍
There's a couple more that I forgot, however...

海容 下さい (kaiyou kudesai)
寛恕 下さい (kanjou kudesai)
 
I've never heard those used. also, 寛恕 would be romanized as "kanjo," without the dipthong, and 下さい is kudasai.
 
I've never heard those used. also, 寛恕 would be romanized as "kanjo," without the dipthong, and 下さい is kudasai.

I've never heard of those either, if you really did something wrong, not just being rude, and you are asking for forgiveness this one is used as well.
お詫び, おわび

You may hear it something like this, おわびをもしあげたい、Would mean I want to apologize for.....It is Japanese keigo.
 
お詫び申し上げます, お詫びいたします are professional announcement when you are about to apologise, please don't forget to add the "real" apology:申し訳ございません、申し訳ございませんでした.
btw,すみません・すいません・ごめんなさいare too casual in business, even 失礼しました is not enough to show your apology. 大変失礼いたしました sounds much better there.

海容 下さい (kaiyou kudesai)
寛恕 下さい (kanjou kudesai)

never heard of these two, maybe ご容赦ください???
 
Would you use past tense or present of sumimasen for something that occurred last week but wasn't apparent until now. For example, if I fixed something last week but it didn't hold and I was informed today that it's still not working. So which would be more correct:
なおっていませんでしたね。すみません。
or
なおっていませんでしたね。すみませんでした。

For some reason the former one sounds better to me. But I'm wondering if the latter is more correct.
 
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