ストーリーゲーム

[Tomii515]

夏（なつ）のある日

(The Summer's one day....? I don't wanna start another part for the sentence unless I'm right, because this kinda sounds weird...)

 

[epigene]

(The Summer's one day....? I don't wanna start another part fo the sentence unless I'm right, because this kinda sounds wierd...)

Tomii,
It means "one day in summer."

 

[Tomii515]

(The Summer's one day....? I don't wanna start another part for the sentence unless I'm right, because this kinda sounds weird...)

Tomii,
It means "one day in summer."

 

[doinkies]

ドインク(doink)と遊びました（あそびました）。

 

[Tomii515]

ドインク(doink)と遊びました（あそびました）。

(lmao Jen)

子猫（こねこ）は ドインクを。。。

 

[KrazyKat]

and a "が" after "子猫", or just a "は" after "子猫"

The way I understand it is that if you are introducing a new topic then it is best to use が。 Then once the subject is introduced it can be referred to with は。 In this way they are perhaps a little similar to the articles 'a' and 'the'

Remember, が draws more attention to what is doing something, while は focuses on what it is that they are doing. If we say 'once upon a time there were three little pigs' the part we care about is that they are 'three little pigs', not that they 'were' so we would use が。 Every day these pigs would go shopping in town. Here the important part is what they are doing, not that the pigs are doing it, so we use は。

eg. 昔昔１匹のドインクがいました。 このドインクはとても小さくて、とてもかわいいドインクでした。

 

[KrazyKat]

(lmao Jen)
子猫（こねこ）は ドインクを。。。

暗くて（くらくて）深い（ふかい）洞窟（どうくつ）に

 

[Tomii515]

The way I understand it is that if you are introducing a new topic then it is best to use が。 Then once the subject is introduced it can be referred to with は。 In this way they are perhaps a little similar to the articles 'a' and 'the'
Remember, が draws more attention to what is doing something, while は focuses on what it is that they are doing. If we say 'once upon a time there were three little pigs' the part we care about is that they are 'three little pigs', not that they 'were' so we would use が。 Every day these pigs would go shopping in town. Here the important part is what they are doing, not that the pigs are doing it, so we use は。
eg. 昔昔１匹のドインクがいました。 このドインクはとても小さくて、とてもかわいいドインクでした。

I found out from someone who lives in Japan all her life said it was all right except from the black and white part, as you can see I changed... Other than that, she said it was perfect.

 

[Tomii515]

暗くて（くらくて）深い（ふかい）洞窟（どうくつ）に

(ok...what did you say... i can't find what this means..."暗くて" i know that "暗" means dark, or hidden, or secret or something...but what';s the "くて"? did you say "...secret deep cave..."?)

 

[Elizabeth]

I found out from someone who lives in Japan all her life said it was all right except from the black and white part, as you can see I changed... Other than that, she said it was perfect.

子猫（こねこ）は ドインクを。。。
You mean this is what she said is perfect? And that you dropped the b & w part ? Did you use enough words, though, if particles don't count.... Let us know if you want a description of the color added back.

What you have looks fine to me so far, the use of "子猫（こねこ）" isn't so much introducing the cat in the sense you are going to give information on its background or focus on who it is as much as as what it did (I think....) (in which case は is best）.

This thread/game has become extremely confusing....

 

[Tomii515]

子猫（こねこ）は ドインクを。。。
You mean this is what she said is perfect? And that you dropped the b & w part ? Did you use enough words, though, if particles don't count.... Let us know if you want a description of the color added back.
What you have looks fine to me so far, the use of "子猫（こねこ）" isn't so much being introduced in the sense you are going to give information on their background or focus on who they are as much as as what they did (in which case は is best）.
This thread/game has become extremely confusing....

no, this part... "。。。白黒（しろくろ）の 子猫（こねこ）は。。。".... It's only confusing because since I (or some other people) don't know every japanese word, so we have to look it up. it's frustrating if you cant find it on an online dictionary or a hard dictionary....but anyways, can someone post, or can someone tell me if the thing i though he sad was right?

 

[Elizabeth]

no, this part... "。。。白黒（しろくろ）の 子猫（こねこ）は。。。".... It's only confusing because since I (or some other pepole) don't know every japanese word, so we have to look it up. it's frustrating if you cant find it on an online dictionary or a hard dictionary....but anyways, can someone post, or can someone tell me if the thing i though he sad was right?

It looks fine to me. And I'm sure it is if it was a native speaker you talked to.

You may also want to try running some of these posts through an online translator first just to get more of a rough idea what is being said.

暗くて（くらくて）深い（ふかい）洞窟（どうくつ）に Ni = In OR to OR for the dark, deep cave...(meaning of course far underground, not "deep into" length-wise)

 

[Tomii515]

。。。暗くて（くらくて）深い（ふかい）洞窟（どうくつ）に。。。

。。。落としました。 子猫（こねこ）は ドインクを 洞窟（どうくつ）に。。。
(I suggest the next person who goes, to just put 1 word, like an adverb, then the 3rd person to go can put the verb...because that's the only way I see it working, but if you have another idea, use it =D)

 

[Elizabeth]

。。。落としました。

This means the subject "dropped something." :clueless: 洞窟（どうくつ）で、
その猫がドインクを落としました。 これみたいな感じでしょうか？(is this what you wanted to say ?)

 

[Tomii515]

This means the subject "dropped something." :clueless: 洞窟（どうくつ）で、
その猫がドインクを落としました。 これみたいな感じでしょうか？(is this what you wanted to say ?)

ummm....what? that's the verb of "drop" an object... the sentence was supposed to say "The kitten dropped the doink into a dark, deep cave. The kitten (VERB HERE) into the cave."

 

[Elizabeth]

ummm....what? that's the verb of "drop" an object... the sentence was supposed ot say "The kitten dropped the doink into a dark, deep cave. The kitten (VERB HERE) into the cave."

OK, that'll do I suppose. "Into" should probably be 洞窟の中（なか）へ（に） or "down in," but I see what you were trying to get at, now.

Kitten ha doink wo deep, dark cave into dropped.

I was confused thinking you were trying to repeat 子猫（こねこ）は ドインクを 洞窟（どうくつ）に。as the following sentence.

 

[Tomii515]

OK, that'll do I suppose. "Into" should probably be 洞窟の中（なか）へ（に） or "down in," but I see what you were trying to get at, now.
Kitten ha doink wo deep, dark cave into dropped.
I was confused thinking you were trying to repeat 子猫（こねこ）は ドインクを 洞窟（どうくつ）に。as the following sentence.

lol. Hmmm, I'm waiting for someone to post from my last post from the story. (make sure you take my advice from the ( ) in my post, because that's the only way i see it working...or making it a compound sentence)

 

[Tomii515]

。。。落としました。 子猫（こねこ）は ドインクを 洞窟（どうくつ）に。。。
(I sugest the next person who goes, to just put 1 word, like an adverb, then the 3rd person to go can put the verb...because that's the only way I see it working, but if you have another idea, use it =D)

this is the post i was talking about ^^^^ *waits*

 

[doinkies]

「にゃ～」（meow)と叫びました（さけびました）。

 

[Tomii515]

「にゃ～」（meow)と叫びました（さけびました）。

(「にゃ～」 = meow? that's weird...)

そして、 洞窟（どうくつ） から。。。

 

[doinkies]

大きくて（おおきくて）ふわふわ（ｆｌｕｆｆｙ）な・・・

 

[Tomii515]

大きくて（おおきくて）ふわふわ（ｆｌｕｆｆｙ）な・・・

。。。青い（あおい） ドインクを 来りました。 青い（あおい） ドインク 「こんにちは！」と。。。

 

[Tomii515]

So far the story is "夏のある日白黒の子猫はドインクと遊びました。子猫はドインクを暗くて深い洞窟に落としました。 子猫はドインクを洞窟に「にゃ~」と叫びました。そして、 洞窟から大きくてふわふわな青いドインクを来りました。 青いドインク「こんにちは！」と。。。"
---
One day in Summer, a black and white kitten played with a doink. The kitten dropped the doink into a dark, deep cave. The kitten cried, "Meow!" into the cave at the doink. Then, out from the cave came a big and fluffy blue doink. The blue doink ...., "Hello!"....."

 

[KrazyKat]

The kitten cryed, "Meow!" into the cave at the doink. Then, out from the cave came a big and fluffy blue doink.

I think that that would look more like:
子猫は洞窟にいるドインクに「にゃ～」と鳴きました。 そうして、洞窟の中から大きくてふわふわした青いドインクが出てきました。
probably still a mistake or two (or more) in there though, but the Japanese that you have above doesn't really make much sense. Its like:
'The kitten screamed the doink meaow at the cave' and the second sentence needs が for the subject.

 

[Tomii515]

The kitten cryed, "Meow!" into the cave at the doink. Then, out from the cave came a big and fluffy blue doink.

I think that that would look more like:
子猫は洞窟にいるドインクに「にゃ～」と鳴きました。 そうして、洞窟の中から大きくてふわふわした青いドインクが出てきました。
probably still a mistake or two (or more) in there though, but the Japanese that you have above doesn't really make much sense. Its like:
'The kitten screamed the doink meaow at the cave' and the second sentence needs が for the subject.

Oh well. I osted only half of it. Maybe I translated the english wrong ohh well.