Wow, if that comment was directed at me, it was extremely confusing. Where was the derogatory comment? Where was I being critical? Why is it that I can't "get" Japanese culture?
All I was doing was pointing out my own surprise at how few people I met in Japan who either knew someone gay or admitted it. My own Japanese teachers, who were natives born and raised in Japan, first pointed out the phenomenon to me, and I carried out my own experiment to see if they were right. Was I saying that the Japanese are intolerant? No. Obviously not, given Ikko and the aforementioned yaoi/yuri cultures. Was I saying that I don't like Okama? Heck no. When my school in Japan did an Okama Cafe during the Gakusai, I was first in line. I happen to love Japan, and I have no issue with its differences from my home country. Some things are easier to do in Japan, other things are easier to do here.
Personally, I wish the US were as blase about same sex couples as Japan is. The most tolerance seems to be in places like San Francisco or in bookstores over by the manga section. But we do have a very strong, open gay community (not that everyone is happy about that, sadly). From what I could see, in general, Japan does not. That's all.