Yobisute?

Otenba

Otenba

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Hi all,

I have a question that's really important to me. There's a guy, Japanese in Japan, whom I respect a lot. He knows that and we've exchanged a few friendly emails and had a short face-to-face chat when I was in Tokyo last winter. He's celebrity, so of course I pay him that extra amount of respect simply for wasting his time on "me-nanka".

Now, from the very first contact (per email) on, he should be able to tell that my Japanese language skills are good enough to know that I know how to apply the -san, -sama, -kun etc. honorifics/suffixes. So basically, he should know I could expect him to use them when talking to me.
Ofcourse, I don't expect him to and I was very happy when he just called me Anna, no -san. Honestly, I don't like the distance "-san" and such create. But do you think I can just call him by his first name, too? I mean, he's kind of big and I know I can come across rude sometimes without wanting to. I still attach -san to his first name, but I wonder, do I need to when he "yobisutes" me? His calling me by my plain first name, is that a sign of friendship or disrespect? Argh, I really don't know in his case but I feel kinda silly going -san on him while he goes yobisute on me.

Help please?
 
There have been a few discussions about yobisute and when it's appropriate--some would say there's a bit of a double-standard when it comes to foreigners. To avoid any confusion or misunderstanding, I would suggest you continue to use the appropriate suffix until the other person requests you to address them a particular way. Age is a big factor here; I have friends that have very close older friends and still use "-san."
 
I think the question Otenba is looking for is WHO IS THIS BIG CELEBRITY?????

There you have it.:p
 
Nope ;)

@nice gaijin
I see, so I just continue to san him? (he uses neither keigo nor anything else we learned about Japanese politeness himself) He's only 4 years older than me though.
 
Yes, absolutely. Adopting the same speaking style as the other person is a bad habit, because it may not be appropriate. People who are 目上 have the luxury of talking how they want.
 
You also ask "is it ok to stop speakin formally.", I have seen and heard of this to be ok since you did ask.
 
Uhh, I never really asked him if it was ok to drop the keigo. He simply never really used it with me, and never complained when I didn't use it, so...
 
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