Maturity

[thatsme]

We all have been there.
Do you remember when your parents told you "you are still very young to understand", or "you need to have more experience to understand", and etc...

My question is when do we know a human being is mature to face whatever reality has to face?

Does age have anything to do with maturity?

A more realistic example, Obama 40 something, Hillary 60 something does the older Human have more advantage for whatever reason to get elected?
I know! probably my questions are all mixed up.

Here another one, now a days which age should we fix to decide when some one is an adult?

Sorry another one, this is for the parents, what is your criteria to judge your child/dren maturity?

I am done.

Thanks for reading it.

 

[Tokis-Phoenix]

We all have been there.
Do you remember when your parents told you "you are still very young to understand", or "you need to have more experience to understand", and etc...
My question is when do we know a human being is mature to face whatever reality has to face?
Does age have anything to do with maturity?

I think it has less to do with maturity and more to do with adults like parents trying to protect their children from hard situations in general which may cause too much stress to the child etc.

I had to cope with a lot of harsh things things in my life from a young age, and i believe this made me grow up a lot quicker than other children my age. This at times created a sense of loneliness in me, when other kids my age could not relate to me or what i was going through. At the same time, i couldn't really relate to adults or older kids either, so it was a tough and often lonely time.
But in a way i am glad i grew up so quickly as a child- it made me a stronger person. IMHO, we all have to grow up sooner or later, and kids can be remarkably adaptable, so i think sometimes its best kids are allowed to deal with difficult situations, but at the same time i think that childhood is a valuable experience that should be enjoyed while you have it, so sometimes i think it can be better at times for parents to help take the brunt of their kids issues so their kids can be allowed to have a happier and longer childhood.

So i think this kind of stuff can be a difficult thing to balance at times. I do often think that now days parents do shelter their kids too much from the real world- its only natural parents try to protect their children, however sometimes i think its kinder and better to let kids experience and deal with tough real situations in their lives, as sometimes its better they start to learn these things while they are young.

 

[Haruspex]

You are mature enough when you are fully aware of the consequences of your actions, and you can guess your response accurately.

 

[dreamer]

We all have been there.
Do you remember when your parents told you "you are still very young to understand", or "you need to have more experience to understand", and etc...
My question is when do we know a human being is mature to face whatever reality has to face?

In my opinion, maturity exists in a continuum, and as such, we are never prepared enough to face everything. An example I'd give is the increasing amount of mental disorder that our modern society is facing, from simple stress to PTSD (for instance the 9/11 accident). Now going back to children, instead of restraining them, I believe that we should instead help them to learn. Two major researchers have formulated distinct theories regarding children development.

A first one is Jean Piaget who wiewed children development as a serie of discontinuous stages marked by specific conflicts. This one is still very popular nowadays and still serves as a reference to judge children's development and abilities to udnerstand what's going on around them.

A second one is Lev Vygotsky, who viewed children development as a continuous process where social interaction was the key. Indeed for Vygotsky, children are beings that have disorganized thoughts and conceptions and need the guidance of a more experienced person in order to organize these thoughts and concept.

My opinion on this matter is that we are never mature enough to face everything that life has in reserve for us, and judging someone's maturity is difficult without knowing his complete background.
Sometimes we might feel very mature but a simple event that we've never experienced will make us go back to a previous stage so the only thing I can say if you really want to gauge one's maturity would be to trust your own experience and observe the other's reactions.

Does age have anything to do with maturity?
A more realistic example, Obama 40 something, Hillary 60 something does the older Human have more advantage for whatever reason to get elected?

I don't believe that age has something to do with maturity. As a matter of fact, within the last 10 centuries, humans' life expectancy has risen by about 30 years. Would it make us more mature than our ancestors? I doubt so or we wouldn't use ancient works and proverbs nowadays.
As I was saying in the previous part, maturity is in my opinion a result of your life experience and for example, someone who's never had any negative experience can be completely immature at 20 and act like a spoiled brat (forgive me the expression).

Here another one, now a days which age should we fix to decide when some one is an adult?

Is there a real response to that question? I doubt so. In most states in the US as well as Japan (somebody correct me if I'm wrong), the legal to be considered an adult is 21 while in countries such as France or Germany, it's 18. In some old cultures, one needed to perform an act to be considered an adult (I am referring to some African and native American rituals) and as long as one could accomplish it, it didn't matter how old he was (though most of the time there was an age limit). In the end, don't you think that becoming an adult or not has more to do with culture and society acceptance than anything else?

 

[Chi65]

And some talk about young and old souls, independant of real physical age.

It can be compared with young harsh mountains and old round ones, for example.

In the end, you can be very young and yet old, but also old and forever young, but also become very young at heart again, like a child, and look very old and wise, when born.

Growing up is a continuous process, also forgetting and learning new things, also remembering and learning old things.

Once you see these circles, you may be called mature. I say "may", because, what do I know with 60? ;-)

 

[Revenant]

You are mature enough when you are fully aware of the consequences of your actions, and you can guess your response accurately.

I'd add to this good summary that one needs a good sense of morality founded on empathy and reason, and also the ability to see the larger picture.

 

[Mitsuo]

Also, the experiences that we endure and how we react to them can shed some light on the level of maturity that we have. Did that person learn something from that experience and was their initial reaction already that of a mature person?

I believe that a person must fail many times in order for them to, perhaps, "advance" to the "next level" of maturity. I think that there are levels of maturity that one must reach in order to advance to the next level. So each experience builds on the maturity that one already has.

So far all the responses are true, IMO.

 

[thatsme]

there is a legal maturity and the actual maturity.
Quite often as what we call and adult fall in love with an legallly immature person.
unfair for the adult? the adult should have thought the consequences, but when an adult fall in love with an illigally immature person what does maturity have to do with that?
That is why we have laws I guess.
Should'nt then the age of maturity lowered? maybe not.

 

[dreamer]

Indeed there is no absolute answer I guess. In French medieval societies, girls were married starting from 11 and boys around 14, but most of these union probably did not involve any sentimental relation.

As far as I know, the only legal restriction that applies is on sexual intercourses between adults and underage people and wedding. Why is that so? Well I can think of at least two major reasons for this.

One of the possible answers is because based on research, teens have revealed an emotional immaturity among a large population, and it has been commonly associated with the innability to take responsibilities related to parenting or even being self sufficient.

The other main problem is that we live in a society where people tend to misunderstand Love and Lust. I am not saying that healthy relations do not exist, but laws have been enforced in order to try and protect a majority of people.
Additionally, many younger people might not be emotionally ready yet, they often tend to feel confused and take one feeling for another (admiration for love is a common example).
From my experience, I can say that even young adults (20-30) are not completely sure of their feelings for each other so how could someone who potentially lacks emotional development be sure about them?

Now, is a love-relation between an adult and an underage person to be forbidden? Well...I wouldn't go as far as saying that it should. However what would happen if this person is ditched? Is this person self sufficient enough to support himself/herself?

Personally, I am not against platonic relationships between two people regardless of their age (if somehow they manage to attain a compatible level of maturity) but when it comes to physical relations that's another story...

 

[Chi65]

Btw, the early marriage ages in old times, also still in some other cultures, were relatively simple to explain, because mostly the rest of the family cared for the children, thus it was not a question of having to be mature first. Also in smaller villages, for example, even the whole village cared for every child, as if it was their own one.

I still experienced this behaviour in a spanish village myself several years ago, when visiting. As a guest, I suddenly had lots of other mothers and grannies around for my daughter, and could even go my own ways at times, if I so wished.
I was a bit puzzled, but then got used to it, and my daughter, who spoke no word spanish, nevertheless had absolutely no problems and big fun!
I could have been just 12 years old, and everything would have been fine and perfectly safe for all.
I even had to stop them feeding her on all occasions. . .they probaly would have adopted her right away, if something would have happened to me.
But there I got an idea, how it must have been in old days. . .

Thus again, maturity is all relative. . .this village was definitely mature, seen as a whole.

 

[SushiShin]

With great powers comes great responsibility.

 

[dreamer]

And with great responsibilities comes great stress

 

[Annubis]

maturity comes with facing harsh realities and taking responsibility for ones actions

Some children are mature at the age of 15. When I was 18, I was the co-manager of a small restaurant. One of my co-workers was 15. He was the best employee there and at the age of 16, he was not only going to school and working, but had his own apartment. He was responsible and handled obligations well. I'd say he was mature.

In Canada a person is legally mature at 18 years old. In Quebec, an 18 year old can drink alcohol. In Canada a person can drive at the age of 16.

So, it depends on the country, the culture and also the individual.

 

[Goldiegirl]

I had to grow up fast, I came from a single parent family. I had to cook, clean, take care of my brothers. I couldn't relate many times to kids my own age because they seemed so childish. I had real responsibility; my life was just not about after school sports and dances. It was go to work to make money to pay the bills so we can have food on the table. My 17 year old niece has never done an ounce of work in her entire life and it shows. She is immature as compared to myself at that age, but then perhaps maybe I was too mature?

 

[Tokis-Phoenix]

I had to grow up fast, I came from a single parent family. I had to cook, clean, take care of my brothers. I couldn't relate many times to kids my own age because they seemed so childish. I had real responsibility; my life was just not about after school sports and dances. It was go to work to make money to pay the bills so we can have food on the table. My 17 year old niece has never done an ounce of work in her entire life and it shows. She is immature as compared to myself at that age, but then perhaps maybe I was too mature?

Same here, my father died in a tragic accident when i was very young, and my mother fell into serious depression for many years after that, she didn't really do anything, she just slept all the time, and when she was awake it was like she was in a daze. My brother, although older than me, was a rather difficult child, had hyperactivity and short temper issues etc, so the only person really doing anything was me and i decided to take care of everyone from a young age because no one else seemed to be doing it.

School wasn't very easy either. Although i was rather academic, i myself started to slip into depression without really even realizing it, and as time went by i found it hard to socialize and relate to other kids my age. I didn't just mentally grow up quicker than kids my age, i also physically matured earlier than a lot of other kids my age, and this meant i started to get spots before anyone else did. This led to a great degree of bullying towards me for many years.
Then i was sent to full time boarding school for the next 4 years of my education, which was a very tough time. I had a lot of difficulties with my mother as a i got older, and by the time i was 16 and at college, i did not relate to her at all and avoided spending time with her as much as i could- i was practically living on my own. Eventually i left college after meeting my man, we moved away together and i got a full time job, we saved up money and we rented a place together and have been living with each other ever since- life started to brighten up a lot when i went to college and has been getting better ever since.

There have been many times throughout my life when i have thought about giving up, but the thing that has always kept me going is hope- whenever i reached rock bottom in my life, i still had hope things would get better (if life is as bad as it possibly could be, then things really can only get better can't they?). Its this faith, this hope, that things will get better, that has always given me strength to carry on trying even when i didn't have any answers. And i'm glad i found the strength to carry on during those harsh times, because if i didn't have that hope i certainly wouldn't be here today.

Throughout most of my life i have had to struggle alone, i've only had myself to care for myself. I value independence massively, i always have done even when i was a small child.
I'd never want anyone else to go through what i have gone through in my life, because i don't know if they could survive it, there were certainly times when i almost didn't survive things. But i don't have any regrets over the past- there's no doubt i made mistakes at times, however all the events i went through have led my life to the state it is in now, and i am very happy with life right now- i wouldn't want to change it for anything, most importantly if i had changed anything in my past then i probably wouldn't have meet my fiance, and he is the best thing that has ever happened to me .


I know its not really fair, but really immature shallow people always really annoy me. When i was at school, i hated the girls whose only big concerns in life was what they were going to wear to the school dance, or who was going out with who. I just used to think to myself, there is so much more to life, so many more important things in life, to concern oneself with! Dresses and ponies and spending allowances are meaningless in the big picture of things. These girls had no idea of real hardship, of living with no money and of never being able to afford anything...All they ever did was concern over themselves over their tiny little worlds in which everything was perfect in their lives, a big deal/problem for them was breaking a nail. They never considered the suffering they caused the people who they bullied or ostracized from their groups.
Perhaps i was slightly jealous of them at times back then (from a hardship point of view), but i would never ever want to live their lives.

Anyhoo...That was all a long time ago. Life is good now. As far as i am concerned, mental maturity and Independence are important things to have and to hone in life. Be thoughtful over your actions and what you say, strive for independence, value friendship and family, be compassionate, forgiving and tolerant- these are some of the most important things in life.

I do think parents wrap their kids in too much cotton wool in society now days, so to speak. And i think by parents doing this they are actually underestimating and not appreciating their kids full abilities and adaptability, not just that but some kids can also find this sort of parental approach very patronizing (i certainly did whenever i got treated like that from certain people in the past).

Maturity comes with thoughtfulness, experience, compassion, foresight, a certain degree of intelligence, and your perspective on life. We're all on different levels of thinking, progressing at different changing paces- some may be more advanced than others on certain levels of thinking even though they are younger than others and vice versa. The best thing is to be open-minded and try and see things from other people's perspectives and try to understand those perspectives- if you can do that, then even if you still disagree with that person, at least if you can sincerely start to understand them and how they formed their views/opinions, then you can better progress or deal with that person, or just simply accept or tolerate them etc .

Anyways, thats just my opinion in short on this kind of stuff . Life is too short to hold grudges or to contain negative feelings in oneself over others. The sooner we can all positively progress together on an understanding, mature, compassionate, tolerant, accepting and civilized level, the better .

 

[Goldiegirl]

You know Tokis-Phoenix, at that time in my life I wished for a perfect life, a normal life like what my friends had or appeared to have. But looking back now, and as you pointed out, it does make you stronger. I have been able to get through a lot of tough bits of life because I know that I can do whatever I need to get through. The part of maturity that took me a long time to understand was when to ask for help. It is ok to need help. I always tried to do everything on my own, even if it meant I was basically drowning in troubles. I still don't ask for help a lot, but I now see the value in doing so...

 

[Chi65]

Funny, some always ask for help and thus stay immature, and some learn to ask for help and call this mature. . .and both is right. . .good inspiration for thoughts

 

[bakaKanadajin]

Knowing right from wrong is something all people who are sane can easily do. Everyone has a conscience. Following your conscience, even to your own loss and disadvantage in order to do the right thing, is one of the hallmarks of maturity.

Also, as someone else mentioned experience does bring about a lot of maturity. The reason for that is quite simple. Once you've been through something, good or bad, you're far more empathetic to others experiencing the same thing. Being able to open your mind a little more thereafter and extend that compassion to others on a more general level in situations where you haven't been directly affected displays great maturity.

It really comes down to how well you follow the golden rule, do unto others as you'd have done unto yourself.