SECOND PART -- STORIES OF UNFORTUNATE IN LIFE (EPISODE 1 : SICKNESS COMES FROM THE MIND)
from Isshi
First of all many thanks to kagrrafan.cn for permitting me to translate the story.
They have been putting a lot of effort in providing Kagrra, info; translate Kagrra, blog's diary from Japanese into Chinese etc. I, myself only understand a little bit of Japanese language so I can only translate the stories after they have translated it into Chinese. So, once again many thanks to them for their effort and thanks a lot for sharing.
Credit goes to Sotomi san ( from kagrrafan.cn) for translating the article from Japanese language to Chinese language
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The new year just begun and I've already hit by a big blow… No, It's as if I'd been hit to another dimension of the world.
Every morning, lots of sad, pity story will be reports on the news. public feel sad when they look at all these pitiful matters, regrettable act of aggression etc., but at the same time, they normally have a thought of "It has nothing to do with me, it will be unlikely for me to get into all these unfortunate matters…"
But, when such unfortunate matter happened to oneself, human being will undergo a big change. Like me myself at this moment…
It's all began on the 3rd of January, with the brand new mode, I was happily enjoying my feast while welcoming the new year with dinning utensil scatter all over the table. However, at the moment I got tired over all this, my lower right abdomen started to feel the pain, at the beginning, I took alcohol as pain killer.
All the while I'm quite good in enduring the physical pain; due to too busy to go to the dental for my toothache that should be getting treated last year become more painful I pulled out that bad tooth myself with the knife and a small pliers that I found in the tool box. It was fun at that moment, but it get too painful after that…( I'm still in the treatment for it now)
Thought that it shouldn't be any more problem killing the pain in this way(by using alcohol), but my stomachache is getting unendurable, it has came to the point that even alcohol can't kill the pain but just got it more painful. Without any other choices, I called the manager and rush to the hospital.
Heading to the N general hospital that I'd only visited couple of times ever since I came to Tokyo; I hold my abdomen while the manager beside me was writing something on the paper. Kept looking at me, asking question like
"Isshi, where do you feel the pain?"
"Which part is painful?"
"When does it started?"
In brief, I was in great pain that I couldn't endure anymore, begging
"please call the doctor, hurry…"
But it seems like nothing happen. I was sitting on the bench in the waiting room holding my waist, clenching my teeth trying to bear the pain and at the same time I don't even dare to take a big breath. At that moment, the waiting time was in fact just a few minutes but it seems like an ages to me.
Gradually, the doctor turned up. By right, it should be a relief after checking, but after auscultates (by using stethoscope) a few times, the doctor said "This won't work, you got to admitted to hospital."
Such a quick diagnosis, I can't figure out what was going on at that moment.
"Eh, What? What is going on? What sickness am I suffering from?"
No matter how painful my abdomen is, there's a thought that flashing thru my mind, it was the popular commercial that said "The reason lies within me" (hayashi_Hime says "I'm not too sure whether this is the correct translation, this is the best I can figure out as I'm not quite sure what is he trying to tell here
")
Immediately the emergency intravenous drip was given. Then I was sent to the lift on the trolley bed, ended up in the single bed ward at the scary corner.
Standing beside me, the doctor and the manager are discussing something, but due to the great pain, I can't hear what they were talking about. Not knowing why, laying in supine position make me feel more painful, so I turn my body to the right, hold my knee and stay still. It seems like the intravenous drip works, the pain start to reduce gradually.
When the pain reduce, I turned over and found everyone was gone. The pain almost stopped.
As when I was trying to sit up, the ward's door open and the manager came in.
"Isshi, what are you doing? It seems like you got to go for checking next, put this clothes on."
While saying this the manager passed me a thin western-style pajamas-like clothes. Silently, I took it over and put it on in a very slow way as if I'm changing my clothes in the morning of a winter. In a serious way, the manager said "Please take a nap first, nurse is coming"
Then he start to flip his schedule notebook.
'Checking? I just admitted and now I have to go for checking? Hey…'
While I was thinking over this, I was laying down as per the manager had asked me to.
"Isshi, can I have your family's contact number?" This question was asked out of sudden, and I realize the atmosphere wasn't right,
"What? Why? What severe sickness am I suffer from? You know it right? Tell me"
The manager looked away, and his expression was totally fishy.
"o…ok, It's……end of the year now, got to send some year's end gift…"
I've decided not to ask anymore after getting such a lame answer.
Trying to figure out what sickness am I suffer from, but too much of complicated thought had depressed me. Anyway, at least I know the sickness is related to abdominal pain.
'What organ is at the lower right abdomen?'
The manikin in the school's science lab flash thru my mind, but because it's a distant memory, what I can remember is the eyes which has no focus point and looks like the eyes of dead fish. At the same time, I can't help recall the unfortunate primary school time. Panicky, I try to think of something happy. Though it is sad to say but, I can't remember anything happy…
When I was sighing for what I've went thru, here comes the "white angel"? Nope, it's an old auntie that you can find everywhere with her nursing cap on, urging me to move to another room, undergo checking using medical instrument, blood testing, answering tones of questions. I was exhausted by the time it's finally all over. Dragging my exhausted body, I went back to my ward, and my abdomen start to feel the pain again; when I hold my abdomen and sneak beneath the blanket, the doctor came in this time.
"Hmm…You can remain laying while listen to me. The result has came out."
'Hey, that's too fast!'
My heart crumple.
"What's…what's the outcome? What's wrong with me?"
The doctor held his glasses, bent a little bit and take a glance at me.
"Hmm…It's hard to say it out…You've suffer from, cancer."
Mentally, I was totally unprepared, and I was speechless suddenly when the doctor says so.
"What…what should I do?"
This is totally unexpected, and it would be impossible to think that this is a joke.
"Then, when it started?"
I try to look cheerful when I'm asking the question. The doctor says "Hmm. I understand how you feel. But, from now on, what you should do is try to life your remaining half year-life without regret afterwards."
"Arh, That's too short! Hey! I say Hey!!!"
Again, it's awkward, But this is a hospital and that person is a doctor, it do no good by cheating me.
"That…that thing…what is wrong…No…I mean what cancer?"
Terrifying, I asked the doctor. The doctor says "Liver. You are young but it seems like you've been lack of awareness. Of course, you shouldn't do this from now onwards. It's pity that this happened while you're still so young…"
"I see…"
I can't take this impact anymore, I didn't expect it to be so serious at the beginning, my tears well up within the minutes, and at the same time the sorrow swallowed me.
Not knowing why, I made a call to Izumi first.
"Hey…I'm in the hospital now…I…hmm…suffer….suffer from liver cancer…"
After a short silent, Izumi says "I see…Then…let's go for a drink?"
I was shock when I hear this
'What is he talking about? He should stop me from taking alcohol after I told him I've suffered from liver cancer…'
'Arh, I see, he must have thought that I'm kidding'
After think so, I reply
"Ok, Please wait for me, I'll be right there"
I picked up my wallet and the diagnostic result, and made a move to the *izakaya.
The manager couldn't stop me, completely didn't realize how I get there, when I lift the door's curtain, Izumi was there, smiling and waving at me when he saw me. When I was putting off my coat, Izumi moved to my side, without saying anything, he took the diagnostic result and read thru.
Then, with his blushed face, he smile at me and says "It's ~ gonna ~ be ~ alright"
I was sad and angry when I hear this.
"IT IS NOT ALRIGHT! It doesn't seems like it would be alright for this time!!"
I was crying and yelling. It's like the end of the world to me, I want to release all feeling I feel now. But Izumi says "It's ~ gonna ~ be ~ alright~~ Don't worry, there should be a way, there should be a way. The so-called sickness come from the mind. Mwahahaha "
He took a swig of beer after saying this and smile at me again.
I can't remember what had happened thereafter…
When I wake up, I was on my bed. My heart still beating fast as if it's going to explode. At the very moment I open my eyes and the ceiling comes into my sight, I'd completely understood.
"It's a dream…"
Yes, I had a dream. This dream is so real, and my cheek still feel the moist.
"Great…This is great… But this is the first time I dreamt of such thing…I was so worried just now…"
Mumbling, I leave the bed and head to the kitchen; I grab the fridge's handle and consider for a while, but still…I didn't open the fridge.
Izakaya : Japanese Bar (Please refer to //en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Izakaya)