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having a child in Japan

Davey

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Okay, as some of you guys already know my wife and I would love to get a baby around next year. Thinking about the time, next year around spring would be the best time. And of course we both want to have a kid, because we love children.

So I am in the need for information, about the how and what etc about getting a baby. Of course I can go to google and type "Getting a baby", "becoming a dad" etc, but we are living in Japan, and not in the States, the Netherlands or another country. So I wonder what's the difference of receiving a baby in Japan compaired to for example the states, or even the Netherlands.

I hope anyone can give me links, book recommendations, or personal stories (if they are too personal, you can always PM me if you want), about receiving a baby, and raising a child in Japan.

Kind regards,

A happy person who loves life (for most of the times, lol)
 
I would appreciate it if you would please clarify something here before I make any assumptions; when you say
I would love to get a baby around next year.
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what exactly do you mean?

Get a baby as in adopt a child.

Also what are you interested in knowing about this;
and raising a child in Japan.
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Obeika said:
I would appreciate it if you would please clarify something here before I make any assumptions; when you say what exactly do you mean?

Get a baby as in adopt a child.
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I mean making a baby together with my wife.

Obeika said:
Also what are you interested in knowing about this;
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Well how do you take care of your child in Japan, schools, health. I don't know.... lol, that's why I make this thread.

I have no knowledge about that things that are going to happen if we are going to make a baby, and what is involved...

as I have said in my openings post, I am living in Japan, finding information about this matter isn't that easy, is it?
 
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Dutch Baka said:
I mean making a baby together with my wife.
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I could show you, but are you sure your wife is ok with this?

j/k

Do you need pictures or can you figure out the fun part alone?

ok, ok, serious now.

It's good that you are planning this out, but don't you think you are taking this a bit too far? The kid won't be ready for school for 5 years.
 

School was just an example... How about the first months, the first year. Where can I get information in English about receiving(is there a better word for this in English, because I am getting frustrated on my Sunday evening that i have to post 3 posts to explain myself....) a baby in Japan....


(sorry that my English sucks so now and then.... )
 
Dutch thanks for clarifying that, I was going to assume that when you wrote "get a baby" you meant adopt, because for some reason or another you and your wife couldn't have a child by "traditional" methods.

I am sure you know the basics, biggest thing though to remember about making the kid is timing. Your wife should know about that. That's the easy part, well for most people anyway, the hard part comes during the pregnancy and after the birth. It's a lifetime commitment, I've got three kids, 2 boys and one girl. We were blessed as they came into our lives quite by accident, it wasnt as if we were trying or anything they just happened, and I thank God daily for them.

Well how do you take care of your child in Japan, schools, health. I don't know.... lol, that's why I make this thread.
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I know this may sound crass here and it is nice to plan and find out what you need to know ahead of time but you are putting the cart before the horse a bit here.

You have plenty of time, first thing I might suggest is start practicing. There is only so much reading and prep that one can do, and they dont every fully prepare you for the actual experience itself. Using your best judgement in many cases works the best, trust your knowledge and your wife and rely on family in a pinch.

My first child was born when I was 24 and I was like you in wanting to know everything ahead of time, but everything kind of went out the window and and my brain when my daughter was born. It makes one grow up in a hurry.
 
It's not a problem with your English...just me being a jerk!
 
Dutch Baka said:
Where can I get information in English about receiving(is there a better word for this in English, because I am getting frustrated on my Sunday evening that i have to post 3 posts to explain myself....) a baby in Japan....
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It would be more natural to say "having a child" than "receiving a child".
 
"have a baby" = homemade
"get a baby" = not homemade
 
Here is a start A Short Guide to Bathing, Diapers, Feeding, and Holding Babies This is mainly about what to do with your newborn baby. Doesn't matter if it is in Japan or not. The only things you need to know that are Japan specific would be insurance, health care and the sort.

Your wife will go to the city office to have the baby added to the family register, koseki tohon?. That would be the first step towards everything else.
 
Dave...don't sweat it too much. A lot of things you would do best to learn as you go. You can't learn about having kids by reading a book. Not all children are the same, just as not all parents are the same. You and your wife will make mistakes, and learn from them. By all means, read up on the subject and become educated beforehand, but do not consider what you read to be the gospel truth!

As for the actual making of the baby...if you need to read up on that, I could send you some videos for you and the wife to uh...study!
 
DoctorP said:
As for the actual making of the baby...if you need to read up on that, I could send you some videos for you and the wife to uh...study!
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Edit: You got some good ones

I will try to come up with some better questions, but I just have no idea so any advice would be great.
 
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Why don't you ask the person who made you, Daviechan? I'm sure your parents can support you and guide you, even though they don't live in Japan.

Also, having a baby is the same in every country as some already pointed out, they'll just grow up in a different environment, and speak different languages. You'll have to start thinking about whether you'll stay in Japan or not. Or if you'll raise the baby in 2 languages, or just Japanese.

Anyways, good luck on ... errr... making a baby ^^" !
 
Dutch Baka,
Is your wife Japanese? If so, she should know a lot of answers.

Are either of you working? What insurance are you on? The government will refund almost the entire cost of the birth (300,000 yen) after the baby is born, but until then, you will have to bear the burden of health costs first, and there are a lot, especially with pre-natal care.

Rent a crib. Don't buy.
Rent a baby bath unless you figure spending 1000 yen is all right for something you'll use for a short time.
Determine if you (she) will breast feed or use formula. Places like Akachan Honpo are fantastic for baby goods.
If your wife is Japanese, figure that she'll have her mother stay with her (or vice versa) for a month after the baby is born. Tradition.
Books:
What to Expect when you're Expecting.
What to Expect in the First Year.
What to Expect . The Toddler Years.
all English.
 
I just had a child here. What exactly do you need to know? You (more to the point, she) will figure it out as you proceed. There's nothing really that hard. Get pregnant, decide on what hospital to go, the doctor's tell you what to do from there. Once he/she is born, say good-bye to sleeping well for a while.

I guess the one thing that I didn't like it the way they handle circumcision... at least the hospital we went to. We picked Aiiku as 1) they actually did circumcision (Red Cross does not, BTW), and if they Royal Family goes there, the quack-factor must be kept to a minimum. Well, the circumcisionologist (or whatever he's called) came in and told us how they do it. Basically they like to wait until about 3 months (it's X days after conception, actually, is how they count it) and they give him a general anesthetic. Of course, we said no way in hell is someone going to knock out our kid at 3 months, so he's now a'natural.


Also make sure you apply for all the goodies at your kuyakusho. You should get about 300,000 yen from the government to offset all the fees and whatnot. There's also a couple of other teasers here and there.

EDIT: Glenski's post is very informative. We tried formula for about 2 days. Backed him up... and we couldn't handle him taking a dump only once a day and blowing out a whole diaper (and a few towels).
 
@GaijinPunch: I think only America circumcises kids at birth (standard procedure). We don't know that weird American habit here.
 
Yeah, America has issues, that's for sure. Some people want to do it though. I think in Japan it's a fair percentage that do though.
 
RockLee said:
@Gaijinpunch: I think only America circumcises kids at birth (standard procedure). We don't know that weird American habit here.
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For some it is a religious issue, however I dont know if you realize this or not but the practice of circumcising also helps to prevent many unwanted diseases or illness due to the foreskin not always being properly washed. That is why it became common in the US to use the procedure.


Yeah, America has issues, that's for sure. Some people want to do it though. I think in Japan it's a fair percentage that do though.
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I am my sons arent, they were born here, I wasnt. I just made sure they knew proper hygene
 
Yeah. I'll likely have to do some reading up on that at some point. From what I hear, it's not an issue for years though.
 
GaijinPunch said:
Yeah. I'll likely have to do some reading up on that at some point. From what I hear, it's not an issue for years though.
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I talked to the doctor about it before my sons were born and he said pretty much the same thing.

Now if Dutch has a daughter this issue is moot.☝
 
The other thing to consider is whether you allow your child (daughter) to get the BCG shot. I would advise agaist it if I were you. It leaves a rather nasty mark...perhaps your wife has one (on her left upper arm/shoulder)?
 
Do you have any other complaints against the shot other than the nasty mark? If it does more long-term good for the health of the recipient than cosmetic damage, I would have to say it's irresponsible NOT to get it.
 
Mikawa Ossan said:
Do you have any other complaints against the shot other than the nasty mark? If it does more long-term good for the health of the recipient than cosmetic damage, I would have to say it's irresponsible NOT to get it.
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The BCG is extremely effective at helping to prevent tuberculosis and the mark fades after a number of years.

I agree with Mikawa san here. I have seen a few children with scars that have remained from the vaccination however not everyone's does, in fact on my children the mark is very very faint.
 
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