Does this sentence make sense

letslearn

先輩

11 Sep 2013

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• 10 May 2014

• #1

こんにちは皆さん、
この文は意味が通じましたか
「once, on board a ship for 42 days, there was nothing but sea as far as the eye can see.」英語で日本語を言おう

一回、船中で４２日に見渡す限、海だった

よろしくお願いします

 

Toritoribe

松葉解禁

Moderator

Fifteen-year veteran

22 Feb 2008

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• 10 May 2014

• #2

一回 is not the only translation of "once".
once窶堙戸?凪?督｡ - 窶ｰpﾋ彗ﾅｽﾂｫﾂ鞘? - gooﾅｽﾂｫﾂ鞘?麓/url]

船中で４２日に doesn't make much sense.

The okurigana り is needed for かぎり.

 

Mike Cash

骨も命も皆此の土地に埋めよう

Twenty-year veteran

15 Mar 2002

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2,298

• 10 May 2014

• #3

"....as the eye COULD see"

 

letslearn

先輩

11 Sep 2013

890

14

• 10 May 2014

• Thread starter
• #4

hows this? I'm using の間 to try to say for 42 days or during 42 days.
would 昔be better for "once" instead of 一回?

一回、船中で42日の間に見渡す限り、海だった

thanks

 

Mike Cash

骨も命も皆此の土地に埋めよう

Twenty-year veteran

15 Mar 2002

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2,298

• 10 May 2014

• #5

Try something like ある時 or even get away from a direct translation altogether and use something functionally equivalent, such as 船の乗組員をしていた時、42日間も……

Where did the 英語で日本語を言おう come from? I hope not from a site you're learning from.

 

letslearn

先輩

11 Sep 2013

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• 10 May 2014

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• #6

no not from a site its me unfortunately. I was trying to say "i was trying to say ...... in english into japanese"

I thought you could use the volitional form of the verb iu but i forgot the とする

is this better

「once, on board a ship for 42 days, there was nothing but sea as far as the eye can see.」日本語を言おうとする

 

Toritoribe

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22 Feb 2008

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• 10 May 2014

• #7

Have you learned another "to try to do" ～てみる form?

Use 日本語にする for "into Japanese".

 

letslearn

先輩

11 Sep 2013

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• 11 May 2014

• Thread starter
• #8

if I use てみる will I need to normalise 日本語にする like I have in the following?

「once, on board a ship for 42 days, there was nothing but sea as far as the eye can see.」日本語にすることを言てみる

 

Toritoribe

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• 11 May 2014

• #9

Don not stick to 言う. 日本語にする can mean "to say ~ in Japanese", connoting "translating into Japanese".

 

letslearn

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11 Sep 2013

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• 11 May 2014

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• #10

ok 使ってみる thanks for all your help guys.

「once, on board a ship for 42 days, there was nothing but sea as far as the eye can see.」日本語にしてみる

 

Toritoribe

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• 11 May 2014

• #11

It doesn't make sense since it's just saying two things "once, on board a ship for 42 days, there was nothing but sea as far as the eye can see." + "to try to say in Japanese" without any connection between them.

I would say ：
こんにちは皆さん
"once, on board a ship for 42 days, there was nothing but sea as far as the eye can see."を日本語にしてみようと思います / してみました

一回、船中で４２日に見渡す限、海だった

これで意味は通じますか
よろしくお願いします

Mike-san' advise "even get away from a direct translation altogether and use something functionally equivalent" also works here.

 

letslearn

先輩

11 Sep 2013

890

14

• 11 May 2014

• Thread starter
• #12

こんにちは皆さん
ミケさんとトリトリベさんのアドバイスを使っている。

"once, on board a ship for 42 days, there was nothing but sea as far as the eye can see."を日本語に してみました.

船の乗組員をしていた時、42日間も見渡す限、海だった.


これで意味は通じますか
よろしくお願いします