Do I need my parent's permission?

[Makularamu]

After reading the section on the American Embassy in Japan's website about getting married in Japan, I was under the impression that if I was under 20, I needed my parent's permission.

"A person who is under 20 years of age cannot get married in Japan without a parent's approval."

However, I talked to the Japanese Consulate General's office in my city today, and they said "U.S. citizen minors (please check marriage laws of your U.S. state of domicile for relevant age) require a notarized letter of consent from their parents or legal guardian."

I'm 19 and legally allowed to marry in my state. Does this mean I don't need a notarized letter of consent to get married in Japan?


Thanks in advance for your help! Embassies beat around the bush way too much. I haven't even gotten married and into the spousal visa process yet and I'm already tired of going from embassy to embassy trying to find a straight answer.

 

[Glenski]

Geez. If you really did read the U.S. embassy site, you should have come across this very easy to understand statement at the top:

Who Can Get Married in Japan?
Article 731 to 737 of the Japanese Civil Code stipulates the following requirements:

The male partner must be 18 years of age or older and the female partner must be 16 years of age or older.

In addition, for Americans, you must be able to legally marry in your home state; if the legal age of marriage at home is 18, you cannot marry earlier than that in Japan.
http://tokyo.usembassy.gov/e/acs/tacs-7114a.html

Get the documents and get married. Congratulations.

 

[Makularamu]

I DID read that, what I was confused by is all that, followed by the statement saying anyone under 20 needs parent approval.
It confused me because the Japanese Embassy said as long as I was of legal age to marry in my home state, I didn't need one. Is the under-20 statement reserved for Japanese or...?

 

[Mike Cash]

What's the huge rush? When do you turn 20?

Having gotten engaged at 19 and married at 20 myself, I will say that in hindsight it was a ridiculously young age at which to marry.

 

[pipokun]

...
Is the under-20 statement reserved for Japanese or...?

Don't worry the statement is applicable to all parties, Japanese or non-Japanese.

Ask the J embassy what words should be included in the consent form.

PARENTAL CONSENT FORM
Your name/birthday
Your fiancée name/birthday

I am the parent of the above named bride, and am authorized to consent to a marriage on behalf of my minor child pursuant to the Civil Code of Japan. I hereby consent to her marrying her intended groom.

Your parent(s) signature

Your fiancée must be indebted to you when he was in your country. So it is his turn to help you more about the procedures in Japan.

 

[Makularamu]

There's no rush, really. I turn 20 in July, it's just that the timing right now works the best for the both of us with work and school and life in general. I don't mean to sound offensive or anything, but I've had the "but you're so young" lecture way too many times by now and I'm not looking for that kind of thing.

Thanks pipokun. So I should just ask the Japanese Embassy about it? Is it something that a parent and I would have to go to the Embassy for, or would my parent be able to write it at home?

 

[Mike Cash]

There's no rush, really. I turn 20 in July, it's just that the timing right now works the best for the both of us with work and school and life in general.

Are you perhaps confusing the process of doing the paperwork and becoming legally married with the process of going through a wedding ceremony? I'm guessing you must be, because otherwise your comment regarding timing makes no sense.

Getting married in Japan takes practically no time/effort at all. It is simply an administrative matter of filing a bit of paper with your local city hall. No wedding ceremony of any sort whatsoever is required to be performed anywhere by anyone; that is totally up to the folks getting married.

I can't imagine what the two of you would be doing in July that keeps you so horrendously tied up you can't both nip down to city hall for a few minutes one afternoon.

I don't mean to sound offensive or anything, but I've had the "but you're so young" lecture way too many times by now and I'm not looking for that kind of thing.

I realize you're not looking for that. That's why I didn't bother to waste my time lecturing you on it. You would ignore it now and only come to understand it a good many years from now anyway. But duty requires at least a perfunctory mention of the topic, and I managed to fulfill that duty without being too terribly tedious about it.

 

[Makularamu]

No, it really has nothing to do with a ceremony (we're not having one until after I graduate from college). I know the actual marriage part only takes a few minutes. As far as timing goes, I meant in our lives in general. I'm going to school there anyway starting in fall, so I'm going to end up there regardless. As for my fiance, he just graduated from graduate school and has a good job and just got a new apartment for us. The timing just seems right. Not to mention we've been in a long distance relationship much longer than either of us would like and we're more than ready for it to be over.

I appreciate your mention of it; I realize I might think differently of my decision later down the road, but I'm positive that I'm making the right decision. Whether it's now or later, I know where I want to be and who I want to be with.