Thanks for the help, nice gaijin.
I didn't know that you don't say "Do you often come here?"
English seems tremendously difficult to a person who has never lived in any English-speaking areas.
(Does this sentence sound good? Can you say "English is/seems desperately difficult"?)
It's not so much that it's wrong or completely unused (it's perfectly understandable), just less common in my experience. Without providing any context, "do you come here often?" sounds to me like the speaker is maybe at a bar hitting on someone (ナンパ). In that context, it is pretty much a cliche by now.
Communication is largely imitating others, both because mirroring is an important social tool (people
like you more when you talk like them) and because using familiar patterns and phrases facilitates understanding (people
understand you better when you talk like them). In some ways, this makes Japanese easier to learn than English, because there are a lot of set phrases and common ways of expressing certain thoughts. These patterns make it easier to absorb and remember. While you
can express yourself in many different ways, I've found that when I get too creative with Japanese people have a harder time understanding me.
English is interesting in that it provides us a framework with which we can express our thoughts, but as time goes on and the more people speak it the more it changes, and people start to popularize certain phrases over others (like the example above). Before the internet, this would lead to localization and localized slang, and ultimately evolving dialects, but now it's like a word soup where I can listen to (and pick up) slang and phrasing from a variety of sources. Slang and speech patterns may originate in one place, but while it used to be contained by geography, there's no telling where they'll spread to now.
Your questions are interesting because they usually contain several grammatically acceptable ways of expressing an idea, but the question really comes down to word choice and placement and how native speakers "feel" about those arrangements; that "sense" really just comes from being immersed in and using the language for a long time.
So you're absolutely right, the key to gaining this superpower is exposure; living in an English-speaking environment will greatly improve your English, at least in that area's particular dialect and vocabulary choices, just like living in Osaka and immersing oneself in Japanese daily will result in improving one's Japanese, probably flavored with kansai-ben. It's not enough to just watch a lot of videos or read a lot, it's very important to practice expressing yourself in the language and get immediate feedback from others (taking into account their own language background); this helps you be a little more deliberate in developing your own "voice" in that language.