Have you heard of lang-8 (link in sig)? I think it's probably more suited for that sort of thing. Not that people here won't help, but I think you'll get more corrections more quickly from more native speakers at lang-8. This place is better for asking questions about grammar, word usage, general study topics, etc.
Also, if you ever just want to have a conversation in Japanese there are the
一般的なフォーラム for general topics and
日本語の勉強 for Japanese-language-specific questions/discussions.
Anyway, welcome to the forums! And a couple of things I noticed:
である shows up at the beginning, but then you've got んだけど later. The former is formal written language, and the latter is informal spoken language. It's a bit strange to mix them.
読め始めた should be 読み始めた. Likewise with 読め終わる -> 読み終わる. 読める is potential, and means "can read". 読む is the normal "to read" version.
の isn't needed to connect verbs to nouns, so 読め始めたのJapanese - A Comprehensive Grammar -> 読み始めたJapanese - A Comprehensive Grammar.
That's all I've got for now.