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27 Aug 2003
From comedian Steven Wright:

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

Women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he
still wrong?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as
they get older, then it dawned on me...they were cramming for their finals.

How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that
considered a hostage situation?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak?

So what's the speed of dark?

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Is it true cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

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