Would you rather live in America or Japan?

[mad pierrot]

No, just those two choices. Forget about anywhere else for now.

Lately I've heard many complaints about gaijin life in Japan. (Not just from Engrish teachers.) On the flipside, a recent trip I took back to the states reminded me how much I love life in Japan. All in all, I think I like living in Japan more. However, if I were to raise a family, I'd want to do so in America. Unless I suddenly lost my gaijin looks, in which case, I'd stay in Japan.

Any thoughts? I'd really like to hear from the people who are married and raising a family or planning on it.

:sorry:

Btw, I hope this hasn't been done before. I tried using the search to no avail.

 

[nekosasori]

It may depend on how stable my work is (and what kind of career), and which specific part of the US or Japan. If it could be anywhere, I'd love to (not have to work and) live in Kyoto.
I've already lived in the US but haven't tried living in Japan (but I look Japanese, except for being slightly overweight). The US doesn't appeal to me much due to it seeming to become quite fascist of late (is Dubya reading a Cliff Notes version of 1984 as a training guide?) but I also realize that I'd have different sources of stress if in Japan.

Though I'd live in Japan just for the food.

 

[mad pierrot]

O.K. then,

So tell me, what would your ideal life in Japan be?

 

[kirei_na_me]

Well, even though I despise Dubya(and all of his power-hungry cronies) and I despise how most things are done in the U.S., I do like where I live. It's just me. It's a small, rural town in southern Virginia. It's beautiful, it's clean, the people are down-to-earth and genuinely friendly, we have small, but flourishing schools here, etc. etc. I could go on and on. It fits me and I would never think of trading this for a small apartment with concrete as a yard. Here, my children have an acre of land to run around and get into things like I did when I was a a child.

Anyway, I think my husband also feels that here is better for his family. I overheard someone ask him the other day if he planned on going back to Japan, and he said he never would go back. He's a whole lot more relaxed here. He hated the typical salaryman-esque life. He hated having to go out with co-workers he couldn't stand, he hated having to stay at work late, he hated the pressure that came with being an employee of Japan(he's technically a US employee now), he likes the spaciousness here, he feels like the kids would be under less pressure in school here, he likes having an 1100cc motorcycle( ), etc. etc.

So, I think it's best for us to be here. It's just personal preference, is all.

And nekosasori has a point about the food...

 

[Duo]

I guess for every foreigner there is something appealing in living in host country.

 

[nekosasori]

"my ideal life" in Japan would probably be similar to life anywhere - no worries about being able to afford the costs of living, being able to access great health care, having lots of choices for cultural activities that I enjoy, indulging in a dream job (which for me is something to do with linguistics, zoology, or classical music) but being able to travel most of the time via trains and planes rather than rented cars or buses...

In Japan I'd visit hot springs (I've yet to do so) and enjoy the electronics, food, temples, bookstores... I'd prefer to own land and/or a house but as long as I can store my belongings securely and have room to move in my dwelling, I'm not too picky. I'd even get to know my extended family better, as they all live in Kanagawa prefecture.

Yup, with the basic assumption that I'd be able to afford my (reasonably frugal) lifestyle, my ideal life in Japan would allow me to explore the regions and culture and ultimately who I am, fully.

The only thing that keeps me in Ireland is the dream job (in computational linguistics). My husband is painfully aware of this fact (and he would move with me, given the chance).

Oh, @Kirei - Cambridge/Boston came pretty close to being an ideal place to live in the US for me as well. Although it was pricier than Toronto, great food was readily available, most of the neighbourhoods were beautiful and safe-ish, public transport was affordable and adequate, near the ocean, but best of all they had world class performances and wonderful communities of academics. I know that there are all sorts of different regions in the US, and if I were going to live anywhere in the country I'd pick Boston certainly (it also helps that many of my friends are still in Massachusetts).

 

[Bounty Hunter]

Japan cause i have been thinking of going for a while now.

 

[Buddha Smoker]

No, just those two choices. Forget about anywhere else for now.

Lately I've heard many complaints about gaijin life in Japan. (Not just from Engrish teachers.) On the flipside, a recent trip I took back to the states reminded me how much I love life in Japan. All in all, I think I like living in Japan more. However, if I were to raise a family, I'd want to do so in America. Unless I suddenly lost my gaijin looks, in which case, I'd stay in Japan.

Any thoughts? I'd really like to hear from the people who are married and raising a family or planning on it.

:sorry:

Btw, I hope this hasn't been done before. I tried using the search to no avail.

I've been in Japan for close to 10 years...I will never return to the States. I've built my life here (married to Japanese and have a daughter). I have an excellant job and good friends. I might complain sometimes but I wouldn't trade it for anything. 😍

 

[DoctorP]

I love Japan for the food, and I feel that it is a much safer place to raise a family. I can see myself staying here for many many years. I will say however that I miss the wide open roads of the ol' USA. I used to love just driving for hours...but actually going somewhere!

 

[Buddha Smoker]

I used to love just driving for hours...but actually going somewhere!

Yeah, you can drive for hours here but you might only make it a few kilometers or pay some tolls.

 

[Mandylion]

Right now, I could go either way. I have always been somewhat rootless - family spread out all over the US so it is not unusual to see my parents/family once or twice a year since moving to college. The same goes for when I am living in Japan - just a few more hours on a plane and a passport to worry about losing. Not all that different.

Since my wife and I don't have children, there is that whole world of trouble we don't have to worry about yet.

So for the time being, I will say anywhere there is work/school and dynamic enought to be able to move up (financially, culturally, personally) from time to time.

I do have deep, deep, deep, concerns about basic edcuation in Japan (the environment of learning, not what is taught) and that will probably be the crunch point when my wife and I will make a very longterm decision.

 

[-Yu-]

The US doesn't appeal to me much due to it seeming to become quite fascist of late (is Dubya reading a Cliff Notes version of 1984 as a training guide?).

What is Dubya? I just don't know it and want to know, is it like website which says about american politics things?

 

[kirei_na_me]

'Dubya' is a nickname for George W. Bush. 'Dubya' refers to the 'W.' in his name. He, as well as many other people, pronounce 'w' like 'dubya' instead of 'double u'.

 

[-Yu-]

'Dubya' is a nickname for George W. Bush. 'Dubya' refers to the 'W.' in his name. He, as well as many other people, pronounce 'w' like 'dubya' instead of 'double u'.

Okay, now it makes sense, thanks.

 

[kirei_na_me]

No problem!

 

[mdchachi]

My ideal would be to live here (U.S.) but travel to Japan frequently (but not too frequently). Maybe once or twice a year. That way I'd get all the benefits of life here (large house, nature, better weather, reasonable working hours, etc.) and get my Japan fix (food, onsen, friends).

I do miss Japan quite a bit but I think half of that is nostalgia for that period of my life. Those were good times. Single, lots of money in my pocket and everything was new and exciting.

 

[Wakaranai]

🙂 Really I have always viewed myself as a citizen of the world and not one country. Living in the U.S is good, it is all that I konw. But my dream job would be to travel the world. But that will never happen. Japan is my favorit country, right after the U.S.A .I would love to live their for about 2 years, To see what it was like. If I could get a good paying job their I would consier becoming a citizen their and Make Japan my new home.

But at heart I am a American. The country that you are born in is a part of you and you will never forget that part. No one hates their country they hate the people running the country. So every one loves their Home country.

This is my rant thanks for reading. 🙂

 

[mad pierrot]

One of the main reasons I would choose to live in Japan is the amount of community here that is somewhat lacking in the states. I've lived in both Chicago and rural WI, and I've found that neither of them seem to offer the same amount of community that Japan can. The neighborhood meetings, matsuri, etc. Of course my perception doesn't rule reality, but to me community seems tighter here, even as a gaijin.

The irony is that I would choose to raise a family in America! Just compare Osaka to Chicago... I mean, jesus. Chicago might be more multi-cultural, but there is a hell of alot more crime. Gang violence, drugs, racism, etc. And, while the Japanese education system has its problems, man, public schools in Chicago can be rough to say the least.
Why would I want to raise a family in America again?

 

[Elizabeth]

One of the main reasons I would choose to live in Japan is the amount of community here that is somewhat lacking in the states. I've lived in both Chicago and rural WI, and I've found that neither of them seem to offer the same amount of community that Japan can. The neighborhood meetings, matsuri, etc. Of course my perception doesn't rule reality, but to me community seems tighter here, even as a gaijin.

This is one of the most rewarding aspects for me as well. Last I was in Tokyo in fact just a couple weeks ago I walked up to a woman hanging around waiting for a matsuri, struck up a conversation about Japanese families and it turned out to be one of the most insightful and interesting experiences I'd had there to date. Not only the fact that it happened so naturally but the things she said I'd never really considered before. Whereas before I'd just been wandering up and down a street which is probably what I would have been doing in the US as well. There are just so many more chances like that, as long as you're prepared to take advantage of them of course.

So community life and warmth of the people in general along with friends/boyfriend and the language would be the three main reasons I'd like to try it for a couple years at a language school and maybe longer depending on how things turn out.....

 

[mdchachi]

M.P., Chicago is not representative of America. There are lots of other places w/ better, safer schools.

Elizabeth, how did you manage to strike up such a conversation. Did you say, "Excuse me... what do you think about Japanese families?" ;-)

 

[Elizabeth]

No, I just had to feign ignorance as an opener, asking whether most men worked late into the night, even on weekends ? and couldn't be here for this festival. When she explained a lot of them did, we got to talking about how people felt about work as the most important thing in their lives, followed a distant second and third by friends and family, how much everyone complained about not having any private time in the evenings etc. which of course they do.

I then mentioned something about cases of laid off men who were too full of shame to share this with their families (quite an interesting phenomenon, don't you think?) and she offered an explanation along the lines of, unlike in the US, husbands generally not turning to their wives/girlfriends for serious conversation or as confidants but looking instead to friends for emotional support.

This perception didn't fly with the married couple I ran it past later, but
at least compared with Americans it validates my experience observing them pretty well

 

[Buddha Smoker]

:The country that you are born in is a part of you and you will never forget that part.

I'm still trying to decide that...lol I'm still not leaving Japan though.

The irony is that I would choose to raise a family in America! Just compare Osaka to Chicago... I mean, jesus. Chicago might be more multi-cultural, but there is a hell of alot more crime. Gang violence, drugs, racism, etc. And, while the Japanese education system has its problems, man, public schools in Chicago can be rough to say the least.
Why would I want to raise a family in America again?

What part of Chicago are you from? I'm from Chicago myself. I think it was the crime thing that kept me in Japan.

 

[mad pierrot]

Born in Berwyn, lived in Cicero. Then as it was, the old man got a better job, moved the family out of the sh_i_tty apartment, and into the white, sterile suburbs. (As in Brookfield.) Mi familia still lives there. Lived for awhile in Logan's Square too, off the Blue line.

 

[Buddha Smoker]

That's pretty cool...it's always nice to meet a fellow Chicagonite..It's been a long time since I've been back.

 

[Chipi]

This may sound stupid, but somehow Im _so happy_ beeing here in Japan now, and I really feel like this would be my other home..I sometimes have these happiness attacks on the street and I cant stop smiling, and also allmost crying...
I know that Im an outsider here, and thats they way it should be..I really wish I was just like Japanese, and not outsider, but Im not, and Im content with my part.

And I dont mean to offend anyone, but living in the usa..no, right now it feels impossible. Im sorry but for me there are so many things that just dont fit into my "world"..