- 27 Nov 2012
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I was puzzling over this question when I read this thread: What do Japanese Girls like?
This is the umpteenth thread on the topic here, and it's something that has come up time and again in my years here. Someone says they like Japanese (usually a white guy liking the women) and a bunch of guys (often white Westerners married to Japanese women) lecture them on how terrible it is to think that way. I myself have joined in the chorus more than once, though possibly because I internalised the lectures I received in the past.
At the same time, I've heard people in Canada (where I grew up) say they think French men are sexy or Italian women are sexy or whatever, and nobody would call them out on it whatsoever. What is it about saying you like Japanese or Asian women that raise the hackles of the (pretty much white) dudes in Japan?
I didn't come to Japan for women at all (though I forget why I'm here as time passes), but, honestly, I like Asian women. I've ended up mainly dating Asian women after I was 23 or so. It wasn't a conscious thing, it's just what happened. It shouldn't be considered any more racist than it is sexist that I like women and not men. It's what I like. I'm not opposed to other women, they just don't catch my attention as much. When you date someone, they are people, not a racial fantasy. You can't maintain a fantasy of someone for any length of time when they become part of your lives.
Even if a person says, "Japanese women are OOO," common sense should let people know that you aren't treating them as a monolithic entity. If a person says they find Latina women sexy, it doesn't mean they will want to get with a fat 70 year old Mexican grandmother since they are 'Latina'. So why can't people use that sort of common sense when someone says they find Japanese women attractive? Why do they need to be told over and over that they are being bad people (in not-so-many words).
I've been puzzling over questions of race recently, and this topic seems worth looking into. As a man married to a Japanese woman, I feel like there is a ****-shamingquality to critiquing someone for saying they like Japanese women. Some of these guys have some misconceptions about the women, but many are simply attracted to something, and it seems pretty messed up that they need to be consistently scolded for admitting their tastes.
This is the umpteenth thread on the topic here, and it's something that has come up time and again in my years here. Someone says they like Japanese (usually a white guy liking the women) and a bunch of guys (often white Westerners married to Japanese women) lecture them on how terrible it is to think that way. I myself have joined in the chorus more than once, though possibly because I internalised the lectures I received in the past.
At the same time, I've heard people in Canada (where I grew up) say they think French men are sexy or Italian women are sexy or whatever, and nobody would call them out on it whatsoever. What is it about saying you like Japanese or Asian women that raise the hackles of the (pretty much white) dudes in Japan?
I didn't come to Japan for women at all (though I forget why I'm here as time passes), but, honestly, I like Asian women. I've ended up mainly dating Asian women after I was 23 or so. It wasn't a conscious thing, it's just what happened. It shouldn't be considered any more racist than it is sexist that I like women and not men. It's what I like. I'm not opposed to other women, they just don't catch my attention as much. When you date someone, they are people, not a racial fantasy. You can't maintain a fantasy of someone for any length of time when they become part of your lives.
Even if a person says, "Japanese women are OOO," common sense should let people know that you aren't treating them as a monolithic entity. If a person says they find Latina women sexy, it doesn't mean they will want to get with a fat 70 year old Mexican grandmother since they are 'Latina'. So why can't people use that sort of common sense when someone says they find Japanese women attractive? Why do they need to be told over and over that they are being bad people (in not-so-many words).
I've been puzzling over questions of race recently, and this topic seems worth looking into. As a man married to a Japanese woman, I feel like there is a ****-shamingquality to critiquing someone for saying they like Japanese women. Some of these guys have some misconceptions about the women, but many are simply attracted to something, and it seems pretty messed up that they need to be consistently scolded for admitting their tastes.
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