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Wacky English-teaching Stories

Buntaro

運動不足
27 Dec 2003
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Does anyone out there have any wacky stories that they can tell, about the sometimes bizarre experience called being an English teacher in Japan?

I had one student who told me, "You dropped your pencil. You had better pick it up." (Misunderstanding of "had better") When I told her what she had really said, she got real embarrassed!
 
Hmm, wacky... we have this one guy at my school (im a student, but i still help teach alot) who speaks barely any english but "do you want a blowjob?" "**** me in the ***" and "stiffy!". Kinda hard to concentrate and talk to a japanese teacher when hes behind you doing his bit.
 
I am soon to be (I hope) a qualifed TEFL (Teach English as a Foreign Language) teacher if I pass, so I'm sure I will get a few 'unusual' lessons.

Anybody remember the Monty Python sketch The Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook - a classic case of dodgy English,
 
Originally posted by Buntaro

I had one student who told me, "You dropped your pencil. You had better pick it up." (Misunderstanding of "had better") When I told her what she had really said, she got real embarrassed!
i dont get whats so wacky about that:confused:
 
I haven't any wacky stories really, but it always amuses me that Japanese can't understand what exactly are swear words and when and when not to use them. so, it gives me a chuckle to hear, for example ,conservative Grandma's coming out with language colourful enough to make anyone blush! :D
 
The younger kids know all too well what the swear words are, and i know my share of japanese ones. This is kinda related, the same kid as above used to go up to the female ALT's and saw things in japanese and get them to repeat it. Wasnt until she was about to leave she found out he had been teacher the name of japanese porn stars, better yet she had remembered just about all of them! :p
 
Hmm....

in one of my classes the other day
we were talking about boy various things and this one girl kept answering the questions for her friend. So I asked her if she knew who her friend liked... and she is like

Rabbit!

everyone laughed....

woot. eh hem...

yeah...
 
One time a girl asked me, "What is the answer for Pleased to meet you?" I taught her, "Charmed, I'm sure." (I guess I should not have done that....
 
I don't know why ??

My first week in Japan and first time off base, I started to flirt with a beautiful girl greeting at a department store entrance. She took a break to talk to me and I was thrilled at the attention. She wanted to know if I would come talk at her English night school. I explained I was terrible at spelling and grammar but she really wanted me to go. So I said start dating me and I'll teach for free.
The first date I picked her up and she had a knited dress with 1/2 inch holes and a leotard under it. I made a joke about her wearing the dress with nothing on under it would look great, JOKING !
The next week I went to pick her up, and she meets me at the door with the knit dress, nude underneath !! Jeezzz, my eyeballs fell out of my head. And she insists on being ready to go out with me. I was so embarassed, I made her go change. I could not believe she would go out in public like that. I always wondered if she were testing me or if she would have gone out in public like that. Her attitude about having sex was like Americans attitude towards kissing, NO BIG DEAL!! Maybe she just wanted to make sure I kept coming to her class ??

Frank

😊
 
Originally posted by Buntaro
One time a girl asked me, "What is the answer for Pleased to meet you?" I taught her, "Charmed, I'm sure." (I guess I should not have done that....

Gee, I'm sorry, but I still don't get the "wacky" part (as with your first post). :confused:

Could you elaborate?
 
Originally posted by Old School
Gee, I'm sorry, but I still don't get the "wacky" part (as with your first post). :confused:

Could you elaborate?

"Had better" sounds like "if you don't do it you are in trouble, mate !". Not the kind of things a kid would tell their teacher, esp. for dropping a pen.
 
Your secret identity ???

You wouldn't be Josh From Gettocities sneaking in with a new name by any chance ??

Frank

:p
 
Originally posted by Maciamo
"Had better" sounds like "if you don't do it you are in trouble, mate !". Not the kind of things a kid would tell their teacher, esp. for dropping a pen.

Oh, I know what "had better" means - I just didn't get what was "wacky" about it... :snore:
 
Originally posted by Old School
Oh, I know what "had better" means - I just didn't get what was "wacky" about it... :snore:
hee hee.... I suppose it's a direct translation of "hou ga"
 
My Japanese friend hates this certain girl we know and she is always asking me something like, "Is it alright if I say that she is stupid? I really am hating her and it is truth." :D
 
Giving a reply like "charmed i'm sure" is the sort of thing you'd say if you're being sarcastic or the other person hasn't made a good impression on you. It can, used in the right context be taken as a major insult.
 
True story:

Imagine getting kicked by a little Japanese kid. You turn angrily turn around and ask the kid what he is doing. He responds, in clear English,

"Have some kick."
 
True story:

I was walking down the street in Kyoto one day, and two little Japanese kids saw me. One said (in Japanese), "Look, an American! Gee, I wonder if he speaks Japanese...."
 
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