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mad pierrot

I jump to conclusions
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Angel of mercy gives
homeless men a hand

By Masuo Kamiyama
Contributing Writer
October 25, 2004


You're a homeless man in Nagoya camped out in the park adjacent to Nagoya Castle or one of the several public areas where dozens of vagrants have erected makeshift abodes made of blue plastic tarpaulins.
Having been down on your luck for so long, sex, if on your mind at all, is probably little more than a distant memory. And since it's been days, sometimes even months since your last bath, the prospect of finding female companionship is likely to be all the more remote.
Certainly the last thing you'd ever expect would be to be awakened from a sound sleep by an attractive young female who has slipped into your shelter, opened the fly of your pants, and begun to provide relief in the form of hand jobs, or oral sex.
Yet, increasing numbers of homeless men in Nagoya's parks swear this has happened to them. Did these pleasurable experiences actually occur? Or was it merely something emanating out of the fog of alcohol-induced stupor?


Read the whole story HERE.

Even if it's an urban myth this is the funniest thing I've read all month. I wonder if there will be an increase in "homeless" people?!

:D
 

Mike Cash

骨も命も皆此の土地に埋めよう
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WARNING: GROSS STORY FOLLOWS

Reminds me of the story of a homeless man found dead in his shelter near the Sumida River a few years ago. He wasn't discovered for a few days. Since he was homeless and unemployed, it took a while for anyone to miss him. And since he lived in an area with lots of those little blue shelters, it took a few days for the unique odor of rotting human flesh to rise above the other various smells.

When he was found, he was naked from the waist down and there was extensive damage to his groin. A large amount of flesh was missing from that area. Just gone. Disappeared.

Police suspected that he had been murdered by a pervert who had mutilated the body, removing the genitals and some of the surrounding flesh. Since such a psychopath could reasonably be expected to commit a similar crime again, they feared they might be looking at the first efforts of a potential serial killer. Naturally, they didn't look forward to either the crimes, the publicity that would surround them, or the huge investigative effort that they would have to mount.

Fortunately for them, the pervert was soon identified.

The pervert was the victim himself.

It seems there were lots of stray cats in the area. With the resourcefulness many unfortunate homeless souls display in their struggle to stay alive, he had learned to put the stray cats to use. He ate canned tuna and smeared the leftover oil on his John Thomas to entice the cats to give him a tongue job.

The last time he did it, though, he had a heart attack and died. It wasn't long before the cats decided he would make a good source of meat protein. From habit and from the smell of the tuna oil, they concentrated their efforts in his groin area. They managed to eat away a pretty good bit before the man was discovered.
 

RockLee

Hullu
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OMFG....talking about bad luck...first being homeless and then catfood(because of his own stupidity)...some ppl I tell ya!! :mad:


In the hope of duplicating the experience he's planning a return Nagoya this autumn.
These pervs to everything to get a free BJ I tell ya

:D
 

EscaFlowne

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☝ ☝
Well, that has shaken me to the core....ummmm...yea i've been scarred in the worst way...and all for some "HEad" yeeesh....I hope it was just awesome! and by cats 😌 .....Have you guys ever had a cat lick you :? Wait wait...not like that you nasty people! i'm talking like your face or hand....thier tongues aren't soft.... i hope miss apollo doesen't read this thread.....she wont ever be right again........ 😌
 

PaulTB

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EscaFlowne said:
☝ ☝
Well, that has shaken me to the core....ummmm...yea i've been scarred in the worst way...and all for some "HEad" yeeesh....I hope it was just awesome! and by cats 😌 .....Have you guys ever had a cat lick you :? Wait wait...not like that you nasty people! i'm talking like your face or hand....thier tongues aren't soft.... i hope miss apollo doesen't read this thread.....she wont ever be right again........ 😌
All those thinking of an alternative universe Ranma 1/2 plot - go take a cold shower. :p
 

mad pierrot

I jump to conclusions
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Dear god....

Mike, I will never sleep naked near a cat for the rest of my life, thank you.

:)

Good story. I think I'm going to go cry now.
 

Ewok85

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Reminds me why i swerve towards, not away, from cats while out on the road ☝

Sounds like an urban myth, funny none the less
 

Mike Cash

骨も命も皆此の土地に埋めよう
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Ewok85 said:
Reminds me why i swerve towards, not away, from cats while out on the road ☝

Sounds like an urban myth, funny none the less

I would tend to discount it as an urban myth myself if I hadn't encountered it while reading a book by Dr. Masahiko Ueno, who for many years was the chief medical examiner (coroner) for Metro Tokyo.
 

alfiegal

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geeeez...a definite candidate for low-budget gross-out film project!
thanks mikecash.
 

Knives

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mikecash said:
WARNING: GROSS STORY FOLLOWS

Reminds me of the story of a homeless man found dead in his shelter near the Sumida River a few years ago. He wasn't discovered for a few days. Since he was homeless and unemployed, it took a while for anyone to miss him. And since he lived in an area with lots of those little blue shelters, it took a few days for the unique odor of rotting human flesh to rise above the other various smells.

When he was found, he was naked from the waist down and there was extensive damage to his groin. A large amount of flesh was missing from that area. Just gone. Disappeared.

Police suspected that he had been murdered by a pervert who had mutilated the body, removing the genitals and some of the surrounding flesh. Since such a psychopath could reasonably be expected to commit a similar crime again, they feared they might be looking at the first efforts of a potential serial killer. Naturally, they didn't look forward to either the crimes, the publicity that would surround them, or the huge investigative effort that they would have to mount.

Fortunately for them, the pervert was soon identified.

The pervert was the victim himself.

It seems there were lots of stray cats in the area. With the resourcefulness many unfortunate homeless souls display in their struggle to stay alive, he had learned to put the stray cats to use. He ate canned tuna and smeared the leftover oil on his John Thomas to entice the cats to give him a tongue job.

The last time he did it, though, he had a heart attack and died. It wasn't long before the cats decided he would make a good source of meat protein. From habit and from the smell of the tuna oil, they concentrated their efforts in his groin area. They managed to eat away a pretty good bit before the man was discovered.
talk about irony lol i want to say poor guy but thats kinda gross..... lol i guess when in rome do as the romans do if they did that stuff lol
 

Sally_Hawn

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I think Mikecash's story is an excellent script for a CAT MAN movie, horror or porno. Didn't Michelle Piffer get eaten by cats and become Cat Woman in the BAT MAN movie?
 

Brooker

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This has gotta be one of the stranger threads we've ever had. Maybe I'm just a sicko, but I thought that cat story was pretty funny (and gross). Bear in mind, that the guy was trying to 😊 entice the cats.

mad pierrot wrote...
Mike, I will never sleep naked near a cat for the rest of my life, thank you.

So as long as you're not sleeping naked with a crotch full of tuna oil you should be ok. :D :gohan: :gohan: :gohan:
 

yimija

Now it's me
Rest in Peace
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wise man

Brooker said:
This has gotta be one of the stranger threads we've ever had. Maybe I'm just a sicko, but I thought that cat story was pretty funny (and gross). Bear in mind, that the guy was trying to 😊 entice the cats.

mad pierrot wrote...


So as long as you're not sleeping naked with a crotch full of tuna oil you should be ok. :D :gohan: :gohan: :gohan:
listen to the wise man (mad pierrot), indeed.

yes funny stories all right, I needed to read that to get back into the real world !!!

BUT....

what mad pierot dont say is the reason why all this happened, because he did not give you the following part of the article :

"Apparently some women are so turned on by male pheromones, they won't accept anything less than a full concentration, unadulterated by soap and water. Or perhaps they're fetishists for dirt, grime and ordure.
"


Are we really like that ? Of course pheromones (and NOT ONLY MALE'S) are of the utmost importance in a sexual relation !

but to this extent....

love you all !
 

Utsuki

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Umm... I don't think cats can be so aggressive by eating a man's part...
Anyway the story is indeed gross!!
 

sabro

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I have four cats in my house and I can't look at them right now. (Maybe they were getting him back for neutering them.)
 

Kamisama

Ooh, i'm a green belt.
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i had a nightmare kittens attacked me today... but i wasn't naked.. -sighs in relief- the kittens could also talk.. weird ..
 
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