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The Best Solution for Frustrated Women

canadian_kor

Thrill Seeker
19 Jun 2004
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If there is a guy you like at school, work, church, club, etc., for crying out loud just ask him out! I think this will solve a lot of women's complaints that they cannot "find the right guy." Why do men always have to do the chasing? :eek:
 
Because it'll show women that asking out the opposite gender is infact NOT EASY especially if you like the person in question. Women always tell me that asking someone out is easy yet they never do it
 
Just depends from person 2 person actually, I think. So in fact this is the solution to all the frustrated members
 
I agree with duo! it depends on a case to case basis. depends who the person is
 
Although I would like it if a girl (who I liked) asked me out, in the eyes of many, she might come off as seeming easy or desperate. It would have to be a carefully played maneuver on her part for it to work out.

I would say that the better way to go would be for the girl to drop painfully obvious hints (they have to be because most guys will miss anything even slightly subtle) that she would like to be asked out. Just talk to the guy a lot and be friendly. If he doesn't respond, he may be really dense, he's not interested, or he's already spoken for.
 
Brooker said:
Although I would like it if a girl (who I liked) asked me out, in the eyes of many, she might come off as seeming easy or desperate. It would have to be a carefully played maneuver on her part for it to work out.

I would say that the better way to go would be for the girl to drop painfully obvious hints (they have to be because most guys will miss anything even slightly subtle) that she would like to be asked out. Just talk to the guy a lot and be friendly. If he doesn't respond, he may be really dense, he's not interested, or he's already spoken for.
talking about how good he looks will always get a reaction if he's interested.
Just like with girls, most guys aren't exactly overconfident with how they look.
Hearing that a girl likes you is a great boost to morale.

Can't really say I get the whole dating scene though... it doesn't really work like that in sweden.
 
I agree with brooker about the looks thing. I mean if a girl says to you that you are good looking, handsome etc. It is painfully obvious that she is at least slightly interested in you (or she is a hard core player leading you on. but what the hey? lol)

I know myself if a girl says that to me it gives me a big morale boost! lol

(hint hint ladies lol. just kidding)
 
I know what he means, norwegian girls are just 2 complicated, they give you their phone number then they begin to act weird.
What's that about :?
 
"Mating rituals" are so different from country to country. In college there was this Russian girl that I liked, but she played so aloof and hard-to-get that I eventually figured she didn't like me. I found out later that she really did like me and was really sad that I stopped pursuing her, but by then it was too late to do anything about it.

And in Japan I never could really crack the code on how dating works there. J-girls really like to go out in groups and I'm just not used to that. It was also really unclear when and how to make a move.

American girls are complicated enough, but at least I understand the rules they play by a little better.
 
I did tried asking the guy I like out...and I got rejected...and I gave it a while and tried again and I still got rejected...I can't a date at all...and if I just sit around it wait, I doubt anything will come out of it expect going insane from loneliness...
 
Brooker said:
And in Japan I never could really crack the code on how dating works there. J-girls really like to go out in groups and I'm just not used to that. It was also really unclear when and how to make a move.

American girls are complicated enough, but at least I understand the rules they play by a little better.

Most asian girls like to go out in groups. If a guy were to go out with an asian girl, be prepared for the whole group to tag along.


RockLee said:
yeh...oh boy.... anyhow...I'll use my biggest skill, DOING NOTHING !!! worked more than once haha :p

Haha....now that was funny.
 
the question is rocklee did doing nothing work out in the end? ( I mean are you still going out with her?)
 
Camui said:
I did tried asking the guy I like out...and I got rejected...and I gave it a while and tried again and I still got rejected...I can't a date at all...and if I just sit around it wait, I doubt anything will come out of it expect going insane from loneliness...

Well, like Brooker said, if you ain't gonna ask, please give us painfully obvious hints. I know that girls in general (even in many progressive Western countries) are still in the traditional mentality that guys are the one's who ultimately should put their necks on the line, but please say or do something so that guys are willing to take that chance. The most annoying thing for a guy in the mating ritual game is figuring out what in the world the girl's thinking (i.e., don't be a statue when you do have interest in him). Guys have it tough regardless of what the common consensus among girls is.
 
Camui said:
I did tried asking the guy I like out...and I got rejected...and I gave it a while and tried again and I still got rejected...I can't a date at all...and if I just sit around it wait, I doubt anything will come out of it expect going insane from loneliness...


Heh, don't despair you are only 14, at your age better watch out for that guy who insists in asking you out, i used to be one of those :p, and well male curiousity and young age, you can do the math :). No hurry to start datin, long way to go.

canadian_kor said:
Well, like Brooker said, if you ain't gonna ask, please give us painfully obvious hints. I know that girls in general (even in many progressive Western countries) are still in the traditional mentality that guys are the one's who ultimately should put their necks on the line, but please say or do something so that guys are willing to take that chance. The most annoying thing for a guy in the mating ritual game is figuring out what in the world the girl's thinking (i.e., don't be a statue when you do have interest in him). Guys have it tough regardless of what the common consensus among girls is.

Why do you need "painfully obvious hints" ? If you yourself like that person what's the harm in following your instincts. So she will say NO, big deal, there are others who will say yes. Just because someone doesn't like you it doesn't mean that you are an un-likable person. I mean try to strike a convo with a girl/woman, and from there you can notice whether she enjoys your company or not. If yout her to open up, tell you about herself, etc etc, then go for it, but if she just talks to you so as not to be rude then let it be, or you can even just go for it still, maybe she is shy. In every other species, well most, the male goes to look for it, so why should it be different with humans ?
I won't accept such things as girls are 2 complicated and men will never understand women, or vice versa, that's just bs by ppl who try to complicate the relation between a man and a woman, which if you want, can be the simplest ever. Humans complicate themselves their life and relationships because they tend to drop inderect hints and go about thinks in a round about way, instead of straight forward.

canadian_kor said:
Why do men always have to do the chasing? :eek:

Because isn't that the nature of men ? Trying to conquer a woman, trying to make her yours, make her give herself to you. If she just comes to you good, but isn't that too easy? Isn't it better to chase that woman who is a challenge, that one who is different from all others, that one who you want to have, but not given to you, rather the one that you want to conquer and overpower so she gives in to you, the one that you want to win over ? Now, this woman may very well be the one that asked you out, but she couldn't help it but to do it, because something in you won her over, but how can she know this if you don't aproach her at all. How is she to notice you if you don't give her a deep look, sometimes a look can say a thousand words, so you need something to trigger her interest, or going after her until she accepts you. Is 2 unreal to sit down at mcdonalds and expect women to come and ask you out while you are stuffing your face with fries and cheeseburgers.
 
canadian_kor said:
Well, like Brooker said, if you ain't gonna ask, please give us painfully obvious hints. I know that girls in general (even in many progressive Western countries) are still in the traditional mentality that guys are the one's who ultimately should put their necks on the line, but please say or do something so that guys are willing to take that chance. The most annoying thing for a guy in the mating ritual game is figuring out what in the world the girl's thinking (i.e., don't be a statue when you do have interest in him). Guys have it tough regardless of what the common consensus among girls is.

I think it is slightly intriguing trying to work out whats going on in their head (and I don't mean that in a stalker mentality way either!)
 
canadian_kor said:
Well, like Brooker said, if you ain't gonna ask, please give us painfully obvious hints. I know that girls in general (even in many progressive Western countries) are still in the traditional mentality that guys are the one's who ultimately should put their necks on the line, but please say or do something so that guys are willing to take that chance. The most annoying thing for a guy in the mating ritual game is figuring out what in the world the girl's thinking (i.e., don't be a statue when you do have interest in him). Guys have it tough regardless of what the common consensus among girls is.

that's funny of you to say..cuz I'm really up front, but I try not to be overly aggressive...cuz I don't wanna seem desperate or scare guys away..but I dunno it just hasn't worked...and as for being in a hurry to start dating...I've been dating for a while..so this isn't new to me...guys just don't seem interested in me..and I don't know what I'm doing wrong...
 
Camui said:
that's funny of you to say..cuz I'm really up front, but I try not to be overly aggressive...cuz I don't wanna seem desperate or scare guys away..but I dunno it just hasn't worked...and as for being in a hurry to start dating...I've been dating for a while..so this isn't new to me...guys just don't seem interested in me..and I don't know what I'm doing wrong...

Your're doing nothing wrong. Your still young and growing, just being friends with guys is just as good as going out with them.
 
@Duo....
We're not saying that guys shouldn't pursue girls, we're just saying that if a girl wants to pursue a guy, she should do it by talking to him, giving him deep looks, dropping hints, etc., instead of just directly asking him out.

*Funny note (this just happened)
There's this really cute girl who comes into my office at work (where I am now) and drops off some things. I'm not really interested in her because she doesn't seem like her personality is my type, I just think she's really cute. Anyways, I'd always give her a big hello and be friendly when she came in and she just kind of didn't pay me much attention. Well, recently I've just been ignoring her when she comes in, and when I do, she hangs around or tries to talk to me. It seems like she just wants attention, but doesn't really have much interest in talking to me. Girls, go figure.
 
Duo said:
Why do you need "painfully obvious hints" ? If you yourself like that person what's the harm in following your instincts. So she will say NO, big deal, there are others who will say yes. Just because someone doesn't like you it doesn't mean that you are an un-likable person. I mean try to strike a convo with a girl/woman, and from there you can notice whether she enjoys your company or not. If yout her to open up, tell you about herself, etc etc, then go for it, but if she just talks to you so as not to be rude then let it be, or you can even just go for it still, maybe she is shy. In every other species, well most, the male goes to look for it, so why should it be different with humans ?

Well, unlike you, many guys still have a hard time handling rejection. It's a pride thing. I know this may sound irrational (and you're right, guys shouldn't make a big deal about rejection), but it is tough when you hear the dreaded "NO" (or even worse "I just want to be friends").
 
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