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Help Sending letter in Japanese for the first time

akachan

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ohayoo. i'm new here. anyway i'm sending a letter to my friend in japan, and would appreciate if someone could give me advice about it. (it's the first time i've ever written in japanese. i have learnt all my japanese from a glossary in the back of my lonely planet phrasebook and freedict.com, so it sucks accordingly) so,pleease, help me. thankyou.

Jun-san, o-genki desu ka?
Jun-san kara no e-mail o honma-ni arigato gozaimasu. Jun-san wa boku ni imamotte hanashitai dekara ureshii desu! Boku wa 15 sai, Jun-san ga 17 sai dekara Jun-san kigahikeru ga rikai shimasu. Demo okay ya ne? Yeah? Sugoi. Hona, kyou ni boku-tachi wa Hawaii kara modorimashita. Totemo tanoshii katta. Hawaii wa utsukushii ya, sorekara Hawaii de wa metya nihon no kawaii onna no ko. Kanojo tachi boku wo Jun-san omoiukabu. Keychain wo mimakka? Kore wa Jun-san no Hawaii no purezento desu. ツ“Juneツ” wa eigo no onna no ko no namae desu. ツ“Juneツ” to Jun doyo no ya ne. ツ“Juneツ” no goi wa ツ“6gatsuツ” denaya. June wa boku no konomina tsuki, June ga boku no konomina nihon no onna no ko yakara omoroii ya ne! Jun-tachi no shashin wa kawaii ya. Kimono wa kuru ya!! UK-de, indo no onna no ko doyo no doresu kimasu, da ツ“sariツ”. Suki ya. Demo boku no konomi wa ツ“ruusu sokusuツ” desu. Sekushina!! Maki to Matsu-san to Matsu-san no girlfriend ni dozo yoroshiku. Karera cool-sou ya. Jun-san, ja mata tegami wo kaite kudasai. Yeah? Cool. O-genki de. Kyusha wo tanoshite! Sainara.
Johnny

(i do actually intend to speak in osaka-ben,i'm not just being a *total*retard.also,the keychain i talked about is the souvenir i'm sending her.just so you know, jun-san is a friend i made while on a high school exchange to osaka in july)

byebye
xxx
 

jspecdan

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you should learn proper japanese first, then worry bout osaka-ben. in my opinion. and just a quick correction. i haven't scrutinized the whole letter, but that's what i saw first.

"'June' wa eigo dewa onna no namae desu."
 

Elizabeth

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Originally posted by jspecdan
you should learn proper japanese first, then worry bout osaka-ben. in my opinion. and just a quick correction. i haven't scrutinized the whole letter, but that's what i saw first.

Yeah, I agree. I don't read osaka-ben (is "metya" very? or a lot?) but even something like
"Hawaii wa utsukushii ya, sorekara Hawaii de wa..." sounds very strange because a lot of cute Japanese girls doesn't necessarily follow from Hawaii being beautiful. Plus you don't need to repeat the subject....it should be "kawaii nihon no onna no ko...."and the way different levels of politeness, from "desu" to "de" to nothing is kind of jarring....
Or maybe it is just the Osaka way of thinking. :D
 

akachan

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hmmyeh. i thought by speaking in a dialect it would make me sound more fluent, right? 😏 i find osaka-ben easier and more fun than normal japanese. but anyways yeah i should probably consider trying to learn the language instead of being clever:( okay, well thanks!xx
 

avarame

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Hello, nihongo newbie here.

I got through the letter with a little help from EDict and a verb list :)

I have a few small questions (not errors, just things I don't understand).
-In the sentence "Keychain wo mimakka?", what does "mimakka" mean?
-What does "konomi" or "konomina" mean?
-What does "doyo" mean?
-What does "Kimono wa kuru ya!" mean?

Everything else made sense. I learned quite a bit from this (like, -tachi doesn't just make the pronoun plural!). Thanks for the opportunity to read nihongo in a "real-life" example, not a carefully-written passage in a book :)

Doumo arigatou!
 

Elizabeth

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Originally posted by avarame
Hello, nihongo newbie here.

I got through the letter with a little help from EDict and a verb list :)

I have a few small questions (not errors, just things I don't understand).
-In the sentence "Keychain wo mimakka?", what does "mimakka" mean?
-What does "konomi" or "konomina" mean?
-What does "doyo" mean?
-What does "Kimono wa kuru ya!" mean?

Everything else made sense. I learned quite a bit from this (like, -tachi doesn't just make the pronoun plural!).
Kimono wa kuru ya (Should be "kiru" for wear)....and what else does "tachi" make the pronoun besides plural?

Also, I've never seen "imamotte hanashitai" -- it's usually like "jishin motte hanashitai" or something you want to speak having, I want to speak with (having) confidence

[Kore wa Jun-san no Hawaii no purezento desu.] isn't how you say a present is *for* someone *from* somewhere. [Juneツ” no goi wa ツ“6gatsuツ” denaya.] isn't how you say June is also the name of the six month.

[June wa boku no konomina tsuki,] should be "Boku no (dai) sukinatsuki wa "june" desu/June wa Boku no (dai) sukinatsuki desu" if you're trying to say My favorite month is June/June is my favorite month in standard Japanese.....
 
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akachan

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dear avarame,

-"mimakka" is a contraction of "mimasu ka", so that sentence means "Do you see the keychain?". Taking the "su" away from -masu verbs is common in the Osaka dialect. I think...
-"konomi" means favourite. i'm not sure if "konomi na" is a real word, but i used it to mean favourite as an adjective (I'm kinda hoping my friend Jun is good at working out what i mean from the context-I too am a nihongo newbie).
-"doyo no" means similar
-by "Kimono wa kuru ya!" I mean "kimonos are cool". "ya" is Osaka-ben too, it's like "da" or "yo". "kuru" is katakanization of "cool".

i'm glad my letter was of use to you!
 

akachan

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Originally posted by Elizabeth
Kimono wa kuru ya (Should be "kiru" for wear)....and what else does "tachi" make the pronoun besides plural?

Also, I've never seen "imamotte hanashitai" -- it's usually like "jishin motte hanashitai" or something you want to speak having, I want to speak with (having) confidence

[Kore wa Jun-san no Hawaii no purezento desu.] isn't how you say a present is *for* someone *from* somewhere. [Juneツ” no goi wa ツ“6gatsuツ” denaya.] isn't how you say June is also the name of the six month.

[June wa boku no konomina tsuki,] should be "Boku no (dai) sukinatsuki wa "june" desu." if you're trying to say June is my favorite month in standard Japanese.....

thanks for your help,but you must understand this is the first time i write in japanese and yes i'm in way over head but i do appreciate that my japanese sucks. :( by "kuru" i mean "cool", and "imamotte", "still". i read somewhere that writing "jun-tachi" would mean "jun and her friends/family/crew etc etc".
 

Elizabeth

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Originally posted by akachan
dear avarame,

-"mimakka" is a contraction of "mimasu ka", so that sentence means "Do you see the keychain?". Taking the "su" away from -masu verbs is common in the Osaka dialect. I think...
-"konomi" means favourite. i'm not sure if "konomi na" is a real word, but i used it to mean favourite as an adjective (I'm kinda hoping my friend Jun is good at working out what i mean from the context-I too am a nihongo newbie).
-"doyo no" means similar
Actually, I believe "sukina" is used much more than "konomi" for favorite....while it should be "douyou" for similar (or better yet, onaji youna), "tanoshinde" not "tanoshite" (in hyoujungo, or standard Japanese, anyway)....
 

Elizabeth

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Originally posted by akachan
thanks for your help,but you must understand this is the first time i write in japanese and yes i'm in way over head but i do appreciate that my japanese sucks. :( by "kuru" i mean "cool", and "imamotte", "still". i read somewhere that writing "jun-tachi" would mean "jun and her friends/family/crew etc etc".
Oh, sure you can say "tomodachi," "kodomotachi" "hitotachi" etc....I think I mistook what avarame was saying. "Still" would just be "mada" but it isn't as common as in English and might sound like there's a reason she might not want to speak with you...so the simplest way is probably just "Jun-san wa boku to hanashitaito omottara ureshii desu."
Ganbattene. ;)
 

Elizabeth

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One more thing that may not be understandable if your partner doesn't know what a sari is. You're trying to say that a sari worn by Indian women?/girls? in the UK is similar to a kimono, right?

"UK-de, indo no onna no ko doyo no doresu kimasu, da “sari”. "

Should be: UK demo indo no onna no ko wa kimono no youna fuku/doresu wo kite imasu. "Sari" to iimasu.
 

avarame

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I used to think -tachi was simply plural, but it's "-and his/her/its group". Thus, "Jun-tachi no shashin" is not a picture of Juns (plural), it's a picture of Jun and her friends/family. :)

Thanks for the answers to my questions!
 
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