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Reverse Culture shock

inakagal

Registered
20 Apr 2017
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Hello everyone,

Just looking for advice or anyone that's been in a similar situation.

I've recently moved back to the UK after living in Japan for 2 years and i'm finding it hard to adjust. When I search online about reverse culture shock it seems people often go through things like:

Not being able to talk about all their awesome experiences to their friends,
Trying hard to find places that serve decent Japanese food
etc.

I'm having a very different experience and I haven't read anything similar. Now i'm back home, i'm avoiding anything that's even remotely connected to Japan, just because of the pure fact that it's too painful. I have so many mementos, souvenirs, heck half of my belongings are Japanese and I've had to just put them all under my bed out the way. The hard truth that I'll never have that life again is so hard to take, I have to lock it all away (so not healthy I know).

It's not that I dislike the UK, on the contrary I've come to realize what a great country it is but It doesn't help that I've had to move to a new city in the UK. I have no Job, family, friends or home here (i'm currently living out of a suitcase in my partners bedroom as he shares a flat with a friend while we look for places to rent).

So has anyone felt like this?
 
I think you're over reacting. Japan won't disappear and you can go there again and again if you really want to.
Also I don't understand why you avoid Japanese stuff in UK, you should do the opposite and meet Japanese people there if you miss Japan that much.
 
It took about 3 years for the "I miss Japan" thing to wear off. The worse thing for me was day dreaming and driving on the wrong side of the road. I did it a few times and was lucky I had people in the vehicle with me to scream "what the hell are you doing" . At first I took Japanese lessons here in Maine and went to Japanese restaurants , trying to find people to speak Japanese with. I had Japanese stay at my house from the local college student exchange program. I would call my friends in Japan once a month to stay in touch. Once I got busy with a job and college and then marriage , the Japan dream went away. It's been over 40 years now since I left Japan , but I still have fond memories and stay here on JREF. By the third year back in Maine where I was born , I figured out I would probably never return to Japan and let it fade away to get on with my life.
 
It sounds like it's more than just Japan. You're moving to other stages of life and other big changes are happening as you've said. It's all part of life's changes. I missed Japan quite a bit. But really what I missed was living the single life in my 20s in Tokyo. This stage should pass as you settle into this phase of your life. If it doesn't, an advice columnist would say seek out a therapist to figure out what is going on.
 
I think it's a case of working out what you most want to do with your life. Japan can fill that gap for a while, like a drug that takes your mind away from things that matter most, like having a job doing something that you're genuinely interested in (as opposed to doing any old thing just for the sake of having a job), getting regular income and sorting your financial situation out, getting married, having a family.

This is where long-term happiness and stability comes from. If you can get these things sorted, you might be able to find some opportunity doing what you want back in Japan further down the line.
 
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