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Question about 'mukoiri(?)'...

7ice3

後輩
7 Jan 2005
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I was talking to a friend recently about Japanese names and it came up in the conversation that Japanese men are sometimes adopted into the bride's family if it has no sons. My questions are:

a) does that still happen nowadays?
b) can it still occur even if the bride's family has a son or sons?

Any info you guys can pass on to me about this matter is welcome. On the basis of it, either I will be hitting my friend over the head with an overripe watermelon or he will make me consume an entire durian. I certainly hope it's the the former. Thanks :)
 
Hi!

My answers:

a) Yes. Not as often as before, but there are still many parents concerned about "carrying on the family name" and looking after the family grave.

b) No. But it may happen under some extraordinary circumstances, such as the sons having pursued careers other than the family business and the daughter must keep the business going.

Is it a watermelon or a durian? 😆
 
I see. Thank you! It's a watermelon. But I'm feeling sort of magnanimous, so I think I'll let it pass. But I don't think I understand that part about taking care of the family grave... 😌

And I'm wondering... I don't know how to put this... do families with different surnames interact much with each other? For example, if my sister marries into another family, will I get to see her as much during holidays, special occasions, etc.? Or is she supposed to sort of 'cut off' ties with her old family? 🙂 Sorry I've so many questions...
 
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But I don't think I understand that part about taking care of the family grave...
In Japan's Buddhist tradition, it is not customary to bury a dead person alone. The body is cremated, and the ashes placed in an urn. A Japanese grave has an opening under the tombstone, where all the urns belonging to dead family members are placed together. So, the "family grave" is the home of all of your ancestors. The living family visits the grave twice a year (spring and autumn), as well as at important family affairs, to report to the ancestors and keep the grave clean and nice. If there is no one to carry on the family name, the grave will be doomed to be forgotten.

When a woman marries, she is officially a member of her husband's family. However, she is free to visit her own parents, such as during the New Year and summer holidays, to take her kids to see their grandparents, etc. There are no special restrictions, except for the Japanese Imperial Family. (The current Empress, who was born a commoner, was never able to take time off to see her parents and was only allowed to attend their funerals.)

Do these answer your questions? :)
 
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