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Praying effect

Muz1234

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I find it strange after praying, when I pray, other people do better than me, when I don't pray, other people are just the same. Has any of you felt the same?
 

Uncle Frank

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I bet it would amaze you how many people around the world have nothing to do with religion and they get along fine. I don't think I have prayed since I was a small child. I won't say there is no God , but I figure I will wait till after I die to find out. If I am sent to hell for that , I do like to be warm.
 

nice gaijin

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Are you praying hoping for a specific outcome?
 

OoTmaster

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That's actually part of the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon. When you are focused on a certain thing the frequency in which you notice said thing increases. Like when you're single you see all kinds of couples. When you are in a relationship they seem to disappear. It's because your brain filters out information it deems unneeded or unimportant. If you focus on a certain thing your brain notices that same thing more.

So everyone around you isn't more successful because of your prayers. They are simply successful and you notice it because your focus is now in that direction. In other words, if you look for a certain thing, you're bound to find it.
 

OoTmaster

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You also might be confusing correlation with causation. For example the more you pray the better other people seem to do. While the two seem to be directly related it doesn't always follow that one is causing the other.
 

Muz1234

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For example, you pray for a girlfriend, other people has girlfriend, while I don't. It just lots of personal stuffs in a prayer.
 

nice gaijin

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Prayer is not about external outcome. When you sit down and ask for a girlfriend, without doing anything that might actually get you a girlfriend, you aren't praying, you're just externalizing hope. Maybe when you then notice other people in relationships, that's a sign that what you're doing isn't working. So I guess in a way, you are praying wrong.

Pray for patience. Pray for generosity. Pray for the strength to make yourself a better person, and to fill your heart with compassion for all beings. These are the qualities people seek in their romantic partners. Then when someone notices these qualities in you and you get together, you can thank god for "giving" you a girlfriend.
 

Muz1234

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What if the girl does not pray and an atheist?
 

OoTmaster

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I think you're missing how this works. You improve yourself and through that transformation there are more potential people that would be interested in you. Then you evaluate your values and how important they are and use that to help inform your decision. Of course the same thing is happening on her end too. So if religion is extremely important to you for example it might not be a good idea to go after a girl who is an atheist.

A god(s) just doesn't plop a girl in your lap and say "hey good luck buddy."
 

Muz1234

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Majority of Japanese are atheist if I am not mistaken.
 

OoTmaster

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Acknowledgement of our comments is a common reply if you cannot think of a good reply. Otherwise if you find them helpful you can reply with thanks. If you disagree you can lay down your ideas of how things work.

The main difference that I've seen is you seem to be praying for external results expecting god(s) to deliver like they're some kind of genie. Our suggestion was to pray about internal change to help you pursue the issue in a productive way. (With the support of god(s) on your internal struggles)

Some here may not believe in god(s) but my personal opinion is that if you do and it helps you in some way feel free to appeal to them in whatever way you deem fit. However most god(s) that I've heard of don't work as a personal genie and you must appeal to them to help yourself change in a way that is pleasing to god(s) for your issues to be resolved.

In other words the issue is not with your desire but with your approach. :)
 

nice gaijin

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I do read. I just cannot think of a good reply.
What are your personal beliefs in regard to prayer? What do you think the purpose of prayer is? I told you my thoughts, now it's your turn to either agree or disagree.

Don't worry about a "good" reply, just reply to what we wrote instead of swinging in a completely different direction. If you talk to people in a way that makes them feel like you aren't listening at all, people will stop talking to you altogether.
 

Muz1234

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What are your personal beliefs in regard to prayer? What do you think the purpose of prayer is? I told you my thoughts, now it's your turn to either agree or disagree.

Don't worry about a "good" reply, just reply to what we wrote instead of swinging in a completely different direction. If you talk to people in a way that makes them feel like you aren't listening at all, people will stop talking to you altogether.
I am Muslim, fyi. The purpose is to connect with God, I guess.
 

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