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Please check my Japanese and translations?

ghoulish

Kouhai
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Hello! I'm writing a poem, and decided to include a Japanese part. I'm a half-Japanese who was born and raised in the United States, so my Japanese is not as good as a native speaker's. I'd simply like to know if the Japanese I've written is sound, and the romaji as well as the translations I've taken a shot at are all good.

Thanks a bunch to anyone who responds. :)

「赤い糸、赤い糸」
Akai itō, akai itō
Red string, red string

「人生はなんですか?」
Jinsei wa nan desu ka?
What is life?

「神さま、神さま」
Kamisama, Kamisama
God, God

「答えてください」
Kotaete kudasai
Please answer

「どこにいますか?」
Doko ni imasu ka?
Where are you?

「赤い糸、赤い糸」
Akai itō, akai itō
Red string, red string

「人生はなんですか?」
Jinsei wa nan desu ka?
What is life?

「神さま、神さま」
Kamisama, Kamisama
God, God

「答えてよ」
Kotaete yo
Answer me

「運命は何色?」
Unmei wa nani irō?
What color is fate?
 

Mike Cash

骨も命も皆此の土地に埋めよう
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色 and 糸 don't need the line over the "o"
 

Mike Cash

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Thanks. Is that it?

There might be some separate usage conventions surrounding the remarks addressed to God if you're referring to the Christian God, but it's not worth worrying about.
 

ghoulish

Kouhai
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There might be some separate usage conventions surrounding the remarks addressed to God if you're referring to the Christian God, but it's not worth worrying about.
Alright. Thanks, again.
 

Toritoribe

松葉解禁
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人生はなんですか is more appropriate since it's a question about the concept, definition or true meaning of life.
cf.
仕事は何ですか
What is your occupation?

仕事とは何ですか
What is (the definition/meaning of) 仕事?
 

ghoulish

Kouhai
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人生はなんですか is more appropriate since it's a question about the concept, definition or true meaning of life.
cf.
仕事は何ですか
What is your occupation?

仕事とは何ですか
What is (the definition/meaning of) 仕事?
You're right. Using 「と」 is more appropriate.

I'm guessing I'd have to put the word "life" in quotation marks for the translation, no?
 

Toritoribe

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Which are you talking about, Japanese or English?
 
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