- 19 Jan 2005
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Anyone who has lived a while in Japan, or knows a little about Japanese food, knows that an umeboshi is a salty, pickled Japanese apricot/plum. Foreigners know them as plums. They are usually small, about the size of a gumball, pink or brown, and salty as all hell. Sometimes they are dried, like prunes, but still salty as hell. One can't help but wince when they are tasted. The Japanese say that these pickled plums help to balance the alkalinity and ph of a person's body. The more you wince the more your body's ph is out of balance. They are correct as studies have proved. Umeboshi are usually not on a menu in a restaurant, but can be bought in a store or made at home.
An oshibori is a moist, hot in the winter, cold in the summer, hand towel that is given to customers of a restaurant, bar, or snack so that they may clean off their hands and face before being served or after using the rest room. If you've lived in Japan you know they are a most welcome treat. You've probably received one if you visited a Japanese or oriental restaurant in your country or on the plane over.
The two words are not very similar in sound but, to a person not familiar with the Japanese language, it's easy to mistake words when first learning and trying to use the language in public. This is one such story.
After I met Sachiko, I soon signed up for a Japanese course that was being offered by the University of Maryland's extension on the base. I had been studying basic Japanese for about six months or so and was grasping it quite quickly, or so I thought, as I had the advantage of practicing it with Sachiko and her family on the weekends. I stopped studying after basic Japanese 1 & 2 as I had only wanted to get the basics of speaking, reading, and writing down and figured I could learn the rest in real life.
I was working at the Camp Zama Hospital at Sagami Ono station and late one night a few of us were sitting in my room listening to music and ツ"smoking.ツ" After a while we developed a bad case of the ツ"munchiesツ" and were deciding where to go to get something to eat. No one but me was in the mood for ramen again, but late at night that was about the only food available other than at a snack as all restaurants around the train station were usually closed by 9pm.
I remembered that, in my drives around the city, I noticed a Denny's had recently opened up not far from the base. I mentioned this and everyone was fired up about getting some ツ"realツ" American food.
This was something new to Japan at the time: ツ"Famuri Lestoranツ" - ツ"Family Restaurantsツ" they were called, and they started popping up in the mid ツ'70's. Denny's was one of the first and they were also the first full-service restaurant open 24 hours a day in Japan. Here, one could get all the coffee one wanted for about 120 yen (36 cents!) along with a hamburger or a western meal, or some curry rice or ramen. The bottomless cup of coffee was unheard of at the time as a cup of coffee would set you back about 2-300 yen and you were limited to only one, small cup anywhere else.
Anyway, we drove the short distance from the base to the restaurant located out on route 16. We were greeted at the door by a woman who bowed to us and said, ツ"Denizu eh yookosou. San mei sama desuka? Welcome to Denny's. Will there be three of you?ツ" while holding three fingers up.
I answered, ツ"Hai, yesツ", while thinking sarcastically to myself, ツ"Of course there're three of us. Can't you tell?ツ" I still had a lot to learn.
Another man at the register, wearing a white shirt and black tie, also bowed and said ツ"irasshaimase.ツ" This was the manager. The cooks and the other two waitresses also yelled ツ"irasshaimaseツ" as we were led to our table. If we didn't know we were in Japan we could swear we were back in the states as the restaurant was an exact duplicate right down to the booths, counter, lights, and menu.
ツ"This is great,ツ" we said as we sat down.
I could tell that the young woman was perplexed that three gaijin men had entered the restaurant as she was quite nervous when placing the menus in front of us.
After we were seated at the booth I watched her as she immediately went to the manager and said something. He, in turn, went over to the window behind the counter and said something to the cook. The cook then yelled, ツ"Eigo wakarimasuka? Speak English?ツ" to someone we couldn't see. I couldn't tell if anyone answered. The manager then went over to the waitress, said something to her and she went around to the two other waitresses and spoke to them. By the back and forth nodding of their heads, I took it for granted that she was asking them if they spoke any English and, to her dismay, they were answering no.
We looked at the menu and made our decisions. It was quite easy as the menu was in both English and Japanese. We'd start off with coffee. We waited a few minutes and still no one came over to us. Our waitress was busy politely ignoring us and she was probably hoping that we'd just leave or something. I caught the manager's eye and raised my hand indicating that we wanted some service. He called to the waitress, pointed in our direction, and she came over with her order book in hand.
I, being the ツ"speakerツ" of Japanese, decided that I would put this waitress at ease by speaking Japanese. ツ"Kohi san pai kudasai,ツ" Three glasses of coffee pleaseツ", I said with utmost confidence to her not realizing that I had made a mistake here. I should've said, ツ"Kohi mitsu kudasai, three coffees.ツ"
She quickly wrote it down and my friends each ordered what they wanted by pointing to the picture, or saying it in English. Me, the big speaker of Japanese, trying to impress my friends and this waitress, ordered in the Japanese accent.
ツ"Boku wa cheezubaga to fulenchi fli kudasai, I'll have a cheeseburger and French fries,ツ" I said, knowing this had to impress her. She gathered up the menus and brought us our coffee a few minutes later along with some silverware.
After a few minutes I noticed that we weren't given the oshibori, the hand towels that all customers in a restaurant were given to wash their hands and face with. I knew they had them in this restaurant because I could see that others had them on their table. I caught the waitresses' eye and, after she came over to the table, said confidently, ツ"umeboshi kudasai, please give me/us a pickled plum.ツ"
I was so confident of my language ability that I didn't even realize that I had asked for a pickled plum instead of a hot towel.
ツ"Umeboshi desuka, you want a pickled plum?ツ" she said with a dumbfounded look on her face.
ツ"Hai umeboshi kudasai, yes, pickled plums please,ツ" I said in return while making a circular motion with my hand around the table indicating that I wanted one for all of us. And why do you look so confused? We're customers also, even though we may be gaijin, I thought to myself.
You can see that I was very sarcastic after being in Japan a little over a year and feeling a little of the prejudice and animosity sometimes aimed at gaijin, especially around a military base.
ツ"Shoshomachi kudasai, just a minute,ツ" she said with a little bow and went over to the manager.
My friends asked me what I was saying and I informed them that I was asking for the hot hand towels. They knew what I meant as they were familiar with this Japanese custom and agreed that they wanted them also. It hadn't dawned on me that I was using the wrong word as I was very confident in my Japanese ability and I ツ"knewツ" perfectly well what I was saying.
After a minute or two our waitress returned and said, ツ"Sumimasen, umeboshi wa nai'n desu, I'm sorry, but we don't have any pickled plums.ツ"
Now I was getting a little irritated as I could see that the other customers had, and were being given hand towels as they were seated.
ツ"Umeboshi hoshII'N DESU,ツ" I WANT a pickled plum! I said, raising my voice a little as I spoke looking her in the eye.
Now she was really nervous and looked towards the manager. The manager came over and said something like, ツ"Nan desuka? What's the matter?ツ"
I looked at him and said, ツ"Umeboshi kudasai, Umeboshi hoshii'n desu. Oneigaishimasu, please give us some pickled plums. We want pickled plums. Please do us the favor.ツ"
He in turn repeated that they couldn't serve us any pickled plums as they didn't have any.
What in the hell is he talking about? I thought to myself. I knew damn well they had the hot towels.
In my frustration, I put my hands up to my face and vigorously moved them up and down in the motion of washing my face, while saying in an irritated voice ツ"UMEBOSHI KUDASAI!! GIVE ME A PICKLED PLUM!!ツ"
I then made the motion of rubbing my hands in one another, like I was washing them while saying again, ツ"Umeboshi! Pickled plum!ツ" My friends meanwhile were laughing at my actions.
At this point the waitress looked at the manager and said, ツ"Ohshibori. Kare wa tabun oshibori hoshi'n desu. Hand towel. Maybe he wants a hand towel.ツ"
The waitress then looked at me and said something like, ツ"Oshibori desu ka? Do you mean a hand towel?ツ"
Upon hearing the word oshibori, I instantly realized my mistake. My face must've turned a hundred shades of red and I could feel myself starting to sweat. If I were a snake I probably would've slithered out the door I was so embarrassed.
I looked at her and said in a soft voice, ツ"Hai oshibori desu. Sumimasen. Yes, a hand towel. Excuse me.ツ"
She said, ツ"Hai,ツ" and both she and the manager bowed and left. She returned a few seconds later with our three hand towels.
I relayed to my friends what I said and the mistake I made and we enjoyed our American food while laughing about that language blunder on my part. They were laughing more at me, than with me. And rightly so. However, that mistake stayed in my mind throughout the meal and it bothered me that I had made a fool out of myself and embarrassed not only myself, but the waitress and manager also.
I was humbled by that experience and never again arrogantly thought that I ツ"knew it allツ" when it came to the language, even after I became quite fluent later on.
My friends never let me forget it either as they always kidded me about it throughout their tour.
Tips are not a custom in Japan, but I left her a 500 yen tip and apologized to the manager when I paid the bill at the register. He just waved it off and said in English with a smile, ツ"No Probrem.ツ"
Looking back on it later, I really felt sorry for the waitress and the consternation I caused her by mistakenly using the incorrect word. She was professional through it all though, and I'm sure she still laughs today, as I do, when she recalls the gaijin that wanted to wash his face with pickled plums.
An oshibori is a moist, hot in the winter, cold in the summer, hand towel that is given to customers of a restaurant, bar, or snack so that they may clean off their hands and face before being served or after using the rest room. If you've lived in Japan you know they are a most welcome treat. You've probably received one if you visited a Japanese or oriental restaurant in your country or on the plane over.
The two words are not very similar in sound but, to a person not familiar with the Japanese language, it's easy to mistake words when first learning and trying to use the language in public. This is one such story.
After I met Sachiko, I soon signed up for a Japanese course that was being offered by the University of Maryland's extension on the base. I had been studying basic Japanese for about six months or so and was grasping it quite quickly, or so I thought, as I had the advantage of practicing it with Sachiko and her family on the weekends. I stopped studying after basic Japanese 1 & 2 as I had only wanted to get the basics of speaking, reading, and writing down and figured I could learn the rest in real life.
I was working at the Camp Zama Hospital at Sagami Ono station and late one night a few of us were sitting in my room listening to music and ツ"smoking.ツ" After a while we developed a bad case of the ツ"munchiesツ" and were deciding where to go to get something to eat. No one but me was in the mood for ramen again, but late at night that was about the only food available other than at a snack as all restaurants around the train station were usually closed by 9pm.
I remembered that, in my drives around the city, I noticed a Denny's had recently opened up not far from the base. I mentioned this and everyone was fired up about getting some ツ"realツ" American food.
This was something new to Japan at the time: ツ"Famuri Lestoranツ" - ツ"Family Restaurantsツ" they were called, and they started popping up in the mid ツ'70's. Denny's was one of the first and they were also the first full-service restaurant open 24 hours a day in Japan. Here, one could get all the coffee one wanted for about 120 yen (36 cents!) along with a hamburger or a western meal, or some curry rice or ramen. The bottomless cup of coffee was unheard of at the time as a cup of coffee would set you back about 2-300 yen and you were limited to only one, small cup anywhere else.
Anyway, we drove the short distance from the base to the restaurant located out on route 16. We were greeted at the door by a woman who bowed to us and said, ツ"Denizu eh yookosou. San mei sama desuka? Welcome to Denny's. Will there be three of you?ツ" while holding three fingers up.
I answered, ツ"Hai, yesツ", while thinking sarcastically to myself, ツ"Of course there're three of us. Can't you tell?ツ" I still had a lot to learn.
Another man at the register, wearing a white shirt and black tie, also bowed and said ツ"irasshaimase.ツ" This was the manager. The cooks and the other two waitresses also yelled ツ"irasshaimaseツ" as we were led to our table. If we didn't know we were in Japan we could swear we were back in the states as the restaurant was an exact duplicate right down to the booths, counter, lights, and menu.
ツ"This is great,ツ" we said as we sat down.
I could tell that the young woman was perplexed that three gaijin men had entered the restaurant as she was quite nervous when placing the menus in front of us.
After we were seated at the booth I watched her as she immediately went to the manager and said something. He, in turn, went over to the window behind the counter and said something to the cook. The cook then yelled, ツ"Eigo wakarimasuka? Speak English?ツ" to someone we couldn't see. I couldn't tell if anyone answered. The manager then went over to the waitress, said something to her and she went around to the two other waitresses and spoke to them. By the back and forth nodding of their heads, I took it for granted that she was asking them if they spoke any English and, to her dismay, they were answering no.
We looked at the menu and made our decisions. It was quite easy as the menu was in both English and Japanese. We'd start off with coffee. We waited a few minutes and still no one came over to us. Our waitress was busy politely ignoring us and she was probably hoping that we'd just leave or something. I caught the manager's eye and raised my hand indicating that we wanted some service. He called to the waitress, pointed in our direction, and she came over with her order book in hand.
I, being the ツ"speakerツ" of Japanese, decided that I would put this waitress at ease by speaking Japanese. ツ"Kohi san pai kudasai,ツ" Three glasses of coffee pleaseツ", I said with utmost confidence to her not realizing that I had made a mistake here. I should've said, ツ"Kohi mitsu kudasai, three coffees.ツ"
She quickly wrote it down and my friends each ordered what they wanted by pointing to the picture, or saying it in English. Me, the big speaker of Japanese, trying to impress my friends and this waitress, ordered in the Japanese accent.
ツ"Boku wa cheezubaga to fulenchi fli kudasai, I'll have a cheeseburger and French fries,ツ" I said, knowing this had to impress her. She gathered up the menus and brought us our coffee a few minutes later along with some silverware.
After a few minutes I noticed that we weren't given the oshibori, the hand towels that all customers in a restaurant were given to wash their hands and face with. I knew they had them in this restaurant because I could see that others had them on their table. I caught the waitresses' eye and, after she came over to the table, said confidently, ツ"umeboshi kudasai, please give me/us a pickled plum.ツ"
I was so confident of my language ability that I didn't even realize that I had asked for a pickled plum instead of a hot towel.
ツ"Umeboshi desuka, you want a pickled plum?ツ" she said with a dumbfounded look on her face.
ツ"Hai umeboshi kudasai, yes, pickled plums please,ツ" I said in return while making a circular motion with my hand around the table indicating that I wanted one for all of us. And why do you look so confused? We're customers also, even though we may be gaijin, I thought to myself.
You can see that I was very sarcastic after being in Japan a little over a year and feeling a little of the prejudice and animosity sometimes aimed at gaijin, especially around a military base.
ツ"Shoshomachi kudasai, just a minute,ツ" she said with a little bow and went over to the manager.
My friends asked me what I was saying and I informed them that I was asking for the hot hand towels. They knew what I meant as they were familiar with this Japanese custom and agreed that they wanted them also. It hadn't dawned on me that I was using the wrong word as I was very confident in my Japanese ability and I ツ"knewツ" perfectly well what I was saying.
After a minute or two our waitress returned and said, ツ"Sumimasen, umeboshi wa nai'n desu, I'm sorry, but we don't have any pickled plums.ツ"
Now I was getting a little irritated as I could see that the other customers had, and were being given hand towels as they were seated.
ツ"Umeboshi hoshII'N DESU,ツ" I WANT a pickled plum! I said, raising my voice a little as I spoke looking her in the eye.
Now she was really nervous and looked towards the manager. The manager came over and said something like, ツ"Nan desuka? What's the matter?ツ"
I looked at him and said, ツ"Umeboshi kudasai, Umeboshi hoshii'n desu. Oneigaishimasu, please give us some pickled plums. We want pickled plums. Please do us the favor.ツ"
He in turn repeated that they couldn't serve us any pickled plums as they didn't have any.
What in the hell is he talking about? I thought to myself. I knew damn well they had the hot towels.
In my frustration, I put my hands up to my face and vigorously moved them up and down in the motion of washing my face, while saying in an irritated voice ツ"UMEBOSHI KUDASAI!! GIVE ME A PICKLED PLUM!!ツ"
I then made the motion of rubbing my hands in one another, like I was washing them while saying again, ツ"Umeboshi! Pickled plum!ツ" My friends meanwhile were laughing at my actions.
At this point the waitress looked at the manager and said, ツ"Ohshibori. Kare wa tabun oshibori hoshi'n desu. Hand towel. Maybe he wants a hand towel.ツ"
The waitress then looked at me and said something like, ツ"Oshibori desu ka? Do you mean a hand towel?ツ"
Upon hearing the word oshibori, I instantly realized my mistake. My face must've turned a hundred shades of red and I could feel myself starting to sweat. If I were a snake I probably would've slithered out the door I was so embarrassed.
I looked at her and said in a soft voice, ツ"Hai oshibori desu. Sumimasen. Yes, a hand towel. Excuse me.ツ"
She said, ツ"Hai,ツ" and both she and the manager bowed and left. She returned a few seconds later with our three hand towels.
I relayed to my friends what I said and the mistake I made and we enjoyed our American food while laughing about that language blunder on my part. They were laughing more at me, than with me. And rightly so. However, that mistake stayed in my mind throughout the meal and it bothered me that I had made a fool out of myself and embarrassed not only myself, but the waitress and manager also.
I was humbled by that experience and never again arrogantly thought that I ツ"knew it allツ" when it came to the language, even after I became quite fluent later on.
My friends never let me forget it either as they always kidded me about it throughout their tour.
Tips are not a custom in Japan, but I left her a 500 yen tip and apologized to the manager when I paid the bill at the register. He just waved it off and said in English with a smile, ツ"No Probrem.ツ"
Looking back on it later, I really felt sorry for the waitress and the consternation I caused her by mistakenly using the incorrect word. She was professional through it all though, and I'm sure she still laughs today, as I do, when she recalls the gaijin that wanted to wash his face with pickled plums.