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Only in America ...


27 Aug 2003
1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures.'

10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

1. On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."

2. On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."

3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."

4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost."

5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not turn upside down."

6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."

7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."

8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."

11. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."

12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts."

13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: open packet, eat nuts."

14. On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
america...land of the free...to be stupid!!!! :giggle: :giggle:
<aahh> ya gotta love humanity and our stupidity, though i doubt anyone will be laughing when we commit the ultimate act of stupidity and indulge in nuclear war. it's mad (m utually a ssured d estruction). :(
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