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Non-commercial BDSM scene in Japan

maji

Sempai
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Hi there,
As just BDSM was mentioned in another posting, I remembered that I still got some questions on my mind on which I hope to get a serious reply.
So whats the non-commercial BDSM scene in japan like? Whats it thought of by people who are not into it? Whats it thought of by old and by young people? How well organized is it, and how big is it?

For example, in Germany, it's like this:
people who are not into it either don't know this topic at all or think it's perverted/ill, or they just don't mind it as long as it makes people happy.
The scene itself is rather big and well organized in Germany (as said, all non-commercial = just for fun/couples/etc.). There are organisations which care for young people interested in the subject (i think they accept members from 16 to 25 years) and support them with "do"'s and "don't"'s etc. in nearly everyone city from about 60.000 inhabitants and more there meet people weekly or monthly, in bigger cities are of course different organisations active. People sit there together and chitchat about life, work, fun, friends, etc. but about BDSM.

Some of those organisations are pretty helpful in many aspects, like organize jobs to work for people who search for a job and whatever. Of course, all those organisations are organising parties or barbecues on rivers/lakes and all that.

In public, they are not really present. this has lots of reasons. one is of course that the public is not interested in it. On tv, the subject is distorted to ensure people's prejudices and attract more people to watch it, so that has not much to do with reality. At times interviews to non-BDSM magazines and stuff are given, but that's rather rarely the case. Then some parades are about minorities or just fun, and those organisations often take part. And then there are of course workshops and everything like that.

And as said, the scene is huge in Germany. It has some places where it is more active than in other places, depending, of course on the area, how old-fashioned or tolerant that region is.

It's not that open you can see as an example on university students whether they're into it or not, but as an example, if you see some wearing a neckband or certain symbols, it's pretty obvious.

In general, I would say that, as said, the German scene is rather big and friendly. There are especially many married couples who use the BDSM-thingy to shift the "power" inside the relationship a bit, so everyone is happy.

So, this topic should not be about "what do you think about BDSM" or "is BDSM art or perversion" or anything like that. It's not about commercial stuff either (as mentioned).
I would like to know the differences between the Japanese scene are to the german one. Somehow it's hard to find anything on that topic on the internet since everything is somehow commercial, and that's really nothing that I'm interested in.
 

Rachel

Mad Bee Hatch
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Well...
I had a hunch you were into the scene. I can't comment on the japan scene but if you want a good starting point for the UK scene, I understand from a friend that this is a good place to start.

http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/

I hope this helps, even if it isn't what you were looking for.

Huggy love, Rachel
 

kinjo

Sempai
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Ah, ty. that's already really interesting. :) though I'm mostly curious about the Japanese one, foreign BDSM scenes, in general, are really interesting IMHO, how the society deals with it, people of different ages etc. etc.
*hugs back* ;)
 

kirei_na_me

Where I'm Supposed to Be
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Maji

I have a book called Pink Samurai that talks about sexuality in Japan. I just realized it has a section on S&M. You might want to check it out. In the meantime, I'll read it and see what it says, and report back. I never got this far in the book, so I haven't read this part before.


There's the link for it if you want to read a description of it. It was a source for many arguments between my husband and me, so I just put it away for awhile... :eek:
 

maji

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Hi Kirei,
Thank you for the hint with the book. The people who read it and wrote reviews about it say that it's exciting but slightly outdated. to it doesn't seem to be expensive ($2.26 is its price), so even if the book would be worse then the people claimed who reviewed it, the financial aspect wouldn't be that horrible. :)

and though I'm curious what the arguments you mentioned were, I better don't ask since it's your private sphere and doesn't belong for sure into a public forum. ;)
 

kirei_na_me

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Well, maji, let's just say that my husband is kind of conservative. He doesn't like to talk so openly about many things--sexuality being one of them. He thinks I talk about it too much... :p
 

Elizabeth

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Some Japanese men I know tend to bring it up a surprising amount themselves in personal conversation, though, even more so than Americans, but just get uncomfortable when answering to a woman.
 

neko_girl22

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I don't think length of marriage changes how a person views sex, or how openly they can talk about it - I suppose it's just a persons personality and experiences. :)
but I do think balance is needed and some people do talk about it too much :p
 

kirei_na_me

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Well, that's true. It is true, however, that Japanese men(and women, for that matter)--in general--are known to get a little more conservative after being married for awhile and especially after having children, as most other married couples do.

I will say that my husband was not like that while we were dating and even at the beginning of our marriage. It's true that my husband is maybe a little more of the reserved/conservative type, but that personality came out more after the second or third child was born, I would say.

I've gathered from what you have said, though, that your husband is not very stereotypical Japanese male. I think you've found a gem.
 

neko_girl22

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well, I'd like to think so....but perhaps other Japanese would describe him as eccentric :D
I think since I became sick, he started treating me with a special tenderness and thoughtfulness, which I hope continues now that I am improving (YAYAYAY)!!!
anyway, we have been together for 3 and a half years(married for one by next month), so perhaps I should come back and answer this after 10 years of marriage!!

:valentine now I have the job of deciding on an anniversary gift for next month..... hmmm....
 

budd

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i don't think i have ever met a man who wouldn't talk about IT :)
maybe it's some mars or venus stuff
 
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