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Need some advice in life situation.


23 Mar 2016
Good day to everyone.

I need advice or opinion from the third side. It's a little bit long, but I'll appreciate any advice.

It's been 2 years since I came to Japan. I was study at Japanese language school. Last 6 month I'm working at renovation company of my friend. They are couple, she is western and he is Japanese. I was searching for job and they where searching for graphic designer. I showed them my portfolio and they liked it. I started to work there, and my boss started to give me some interior tasks to. Have to say it's hard. I was suppose to learn how to work with some soft for making planing of project, to learn how to make this plan. to work with manufactures, workers, to plan and to think about materials, that I have no idea about. I still isn't had N2. Obvious there was some problems on the way, and still now. A lot of them becomes I have know knowledge about architecture and interior.
My boss really tough about everything, that have any connection to work. Sometimes he angry at me, coz I didn't asked, didn't consultant. It's logical, but I didn't even though, that I have to, coz I even didn't hunk that it can be a problem. Sounds stupid, but it's sometime I don't understand what he want or he give to many tasks.
Something, that Japanese call 報告、連絡、相談. It was my weak point.
I was studding from 9:00, and from 14:00 I was at office. My work day would me until 21:99, but it was impossible to finish everything and I stayed until last train. Last 6 month my grade at school started to drop, but somehow I managed to pass N2 and to graduate. A lot of pressure. A lot of work interior + graphic.
My boss is a good man, but when he got angry, he started to be really cruel. Lately I'm not happy at all, a lot of pressure. I'm not sleeping enough, I'm always +/- 2 kg, the worst I lot a list of hair coz of stress.
If client want to meet on your free fay, you have to go to work. And it rude to ask when you can get free day instead. In my free day I'm next to the comp, doing projects.
This firm started to do a work visa for me. Coz I was so busy with school and work I even didn't searched for another work.
Couple days ago my boss got really angry and started to scream on me in front of other stuff, sad really privet staff as : "you are xx years old and you have thi thing and thinking, go back to your country". Called me pig and trough away flowers, that I got from company for my graduation. He sad, that pigs don't deserve flowers. He tossed folders to the wall. I was really scared at that point and got really humiliated. I sad, that I want to leave and to search for another job. He started to get more angry and to ask why. He sad, that he don't have any problem with my work, but with my communication. That I can't say everything I think, as my opinion, he is the boss, and I can't tell him such staff.
I signed documents, and he sad, that when he would cancel my application for visa - he would tell them, that I was working more house, that I was suppose to. That mean, that I would have problem. Plus my student visa inspired in 3 month.
My boss asks his wife to talk to me, then other staff.
Past two days I send my portfolio to different pleases.
Yesterday I had talk with my boss, he didn't talked about documents I signet. He talked about his company, about goals and gaijin live in Japan. Seems like everything started to get relaxes. From next month there suppose to come new staff and I need to teach her about interior work.
My boss sed, that I'll be doing more graphic work. With support on interior.
And today I got letter from design company, that I applied, they want my CV to my portfolio. I really want to go to interview, it's really cool company. And it's work in my specialty. To work in design team, with other designers. To study and get better in design.
I want to try, but if they will say ok, I don't know what to do with company, that I'm in now.
Can I Still get work visa from one company if other company will cancel application. It would look bad in my file, isn't? When company applying for a visa for their worker, they paint something? I feel really bad, co they made all documents. And me and other staff for to immigration office to give them.
Do u have to give explanation about why u want to live? In my contract writhing down, that if I want to live, I need to tell them 1month before.
Plus my relation with my friend got really bad. She don't speak to me. Even if she know what he sad to me. I can't get angry, coz I understand, that they are marred.

What I wanted to ask.
I feel really bad if I would like to accept job that I want. That would be better for me from the carrier side.
I feel, that I owe them. But from other side, it's my life, I came here to work in my profession and now I doing something different.
I would be really bad person If I would live. But then I remember how my boss was screaming on me, his words and actions. He is dangerous to deal with. I'm scared, that co he would get offended he would say everything to immigration office and they would not give me a visa in the future.

I'm totally lost.
But i feel really bad inside. Just when I'm thinking about this situation, tears showed out. I cant held it. I'm really unhappy and stressed. I never feels that bad in my life.
May be someone can give me some advise.

Thank you.
I can't answer your visa questions but based on what you said, you owe them nothing. There is no excuse for that kind of abusive behavior. Do your best to get out of the situation to a new job. Don't let them make you feel bad or guilty for leaving. That is a tactic that abusers use.
You are NOT a bad person if you leave. They are bad people. It doesn't matter if they are nice 90% of the time; he is a user and an abuser. Get out of that situation and don't look back.
Thank you for support.
As my contract say, I still have to be there one month. It would be had, coz we all work in one open space. My boss or ignore me by saying something to person next to me and asking him to explain me that. And I'm sitting there and hearing everything.
Or he starting to say again about my personal choice, and that I bad person and many more.. it's really hard, but I need to survive this month. And every small mistake he started to say, that he will cut from my salary.
If he gives you any trouble, go talk to the Labor Standards Office (労働基準局) and ask for their advice and help.

You need to leave that place as soon as you can. If that means losing a friend, then lose the friend.

At your next job, make a strong effort to be better at consulting with your boss and co-workers. The 報連相 principle is not unique to your current job; it is common to many jobs in Japan. If you intend to work in a Japanese workplace then it is one of the skills you need to develop and use.


You may be able to get an appointment for consulting with them in your native language.

By law, he can't reduce your pay as punishment by more than 10% per pay period. (So if you are paid each month, the total reduction must be less than 10% of your monthly pay)

Decreases in Wages as Sanctions

A company may “decrease wages as a sanction,” in order to maintain discipline at the firm. This is different from deducting wages which amount is according to the hours of lateness or absence. The company should state the details about decreases as sanctions in the rules of employment.

In the event the rules of employment provide for a decrease in wages as a sanction, the amount of a decrease for a single deduction shall not exceed 50% of the daily average wage, and the total amount of decrease shall not exceed 10% of the total wages for a single pay period (Article 91). (http://www.hataraku.metro.tokyo.jp/sodan/siryo/H23_handbook_all.pdf)
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Thank you.
I totally understand, that I need to work on this point. There is my fault too. And I learn from it.
But it doesn't justify his way of speaking, actions. I'd I'm not fit, why he would not fire me, or let me go peasfuly. He started to say something as "return me all money for 6 month", "want me to go to police?", "I'll tell to immigration office, that you worked more hours, that you should" and many more. I don't want to stay coz I'm afraid, I I want to do my job on 110%. But not there, not on this condition.
And I'm not the only one. I saw not even once, how he was scolding other staff, one young guy. He was saying to him horrible things to, and about his family. After this 2 chairs and one lamp got to the trash. And my boss think, that is normal reaction. It's pure violence. Physical and verbal violence.
I'm asking myself if it's every where like that?..
You need to just LEAVE and stop agonizing over it. You are starting to sound like an abused wife who complains about the beatings but keeps thinking of why she has to STAY with the abuser.

Yes, your boss is abusive. No, not every place is like that.

He can't tell Immigration you worked too many hours because HE MADE YOU work too many hours. He knew it was wrong when he did it.

Go talk to the Labor Standards office.
You right. I told to my boss, that im leaving.
But to know if I can leave imidiatly without lousing my salary, I better to ask before at LSO.
Thanks again.
You right. I told to my boss, that im leaving.
But to know if I can leave imidiatly without lousing my salary, I better to ask before at LSO.
Thanks again.

Good for you! Let us know how things go for you.
In the US, we would call this a constructive termination. Your boss appears to have intentionally made your job so intolerable that anyone would feel forced to quit. I don't know the rules in Japan, but here, a constructive termination is usually wrongful and can support a claim for lost wages from the time of losing the old job until finding a new one. If the new job doesn't pay as well as the old job, the difference could also be recovered for a reasonable time.

A constructive termination is wrongful because it breaches the covenant of good faith and fair dealing, which, in my state of the US, the law implies in every employment contract. Again, I don't know if Japan provides any similar remedy.
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