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Auly

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My friend (Japanese) has a serious case of depression (born with a condition from wich it's a consequence) and is going through the worst time of her life now for different reasons. She is already under medication and sees a psychatrist regularly. But she has now reach a point where she is unable to work, barely able to communicate with people, and can't go out. She is stuck in bed and hopless.
Her family cannot help, and is, in fact, responsable for making things worse.
Due to her inability to go out and socialise, she has no one to rely on except me (I'm stuck oversea).
She needs to get out of her house and live with people who understand mental illness preferably. If she stays longer in her parents house, things will end very badly, very soon.
From then she could recover and get a chance to work and have a stable life.

I need help finding a place for her to go (she leaves in Kyoto area). But I don't speak japanese well enough to research properly.
She had already been to the city hall in the passed and got help from a social worker to apply for a pension from the government, but she didn't receive approval.

Can anyone, please, assist me or give advice on what to do?
 

Auly

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What is the condition she is born with?
Can't remember exactly the name. Something with development disorder in it. Basically her brain doesn't produce certain chemicals very well.
On top of that she has back problem since an accident 2 years ago. A hernia, that doesn't seem to get better. Her daily life is quite painful.
 

yamcha

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Hernias, do not get better on their own. She needs surgery to put the guts back in. Constant pain can certainly cause depression and make a person give up on life. The chemical imbalance theory for depression and anxiety is being debunked. Depression is an inflammation problem. Your friends should try to get some outdoor sunlight between 10 am and 2 pm when the UVB rays are out.

Does she have dissatisfaction with her looks too and is she overweight or underweight? What are her sleeping patterns like and how old is she? I have a medical degree.
 

Auly

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Thanks for your help mate.
For the hernia she saw a professional that suggested that an operation could be risky. She didn't want to take the risk to have it worse.
The inflammation didn't help her condition, that's for sure.
As for exactly what it is, I 'm not sure. She once explained it trying to translate from Japanese, so I looked up what seem to fit the description.
She had that condition her whole life (she is 40 now). Got to see many doctors, until she found her current psy, who prescribed the drugs she is taking. Nothing as ever worked so well. But she still struggle, especially in winter time. She use to go out regularly, knowing the importance of sunlight.
But right now, it seems impossible. It has never been so bad.
She have suicidal thoughts of course. And just lost her grand mother (the last person of her family that she really card about, the other members are quite "toxic" people). Her psy was affraid to let her go home after that and suggested she might go to a special hospital.
But she was still able to go a part time job she had. Now she has lost the job because unable to go (no energy, not able to think straight).
She really needs to get out of the house, as interractions with her family keeps her down.
When she is not kept awake by crying for hours, she sleeps a lot; most of the day actually.
She said she had stoped taking a new prescription after just a week because it was making her eat a lot.
She is not underweight now, but she use to find herself too fat when younger and she knows it will make things worse if she takes the new pills.
 

yamcha

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Suicidal ideation or thoughts whether active or passive is 100% normal. We all have them. Even the act of suicide is normal though sad.

There is no such thing as mental illness so it is not curable. It always takes at least 2 people to have a mental illness. If you are on a deserted island alone, you can die of real diseases such as cancer but not a mental illness.

Your friend NEEDS to have corrective surgery for her hernia and if it doesn't fix it then have another surgery.

I worked with depressed patients for many years and 99% of them just don't want to get better. Believe me, I have heard it all. The only way to find the energy to exercise is to exercise. If you can't stand socializing and can't get yourself to do it then the only solution is to show up at the party whether you like it or not.

She is going through a midlife crisis that is compounded with other things and she probably hates her looks and feels ugly. She is also probably focusing too much on the past.

Have her read this book:
Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy

There is a Japanese translation and it is popular. Most people feel much better after reading it.
 
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Auly

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Suicidal ideation or thoughts whether active or passive is 100% normal. We all have them. Even the act of suicide is normal though sad.

There is no such thing as mental illness so it is not curable. It always takes at least 2 people to have a mental illness. If you are on a deserted island alone, you can die of real diseases such as cancer but not a mental illness.

Your friend NEEDS to have corrective surgery for her hernia and if it doesn't fix it then have another surgery.

I worked with depressed patients for many years and 99% of them just don't want to get better. Believe me, I have heard it all. The only way to find the energy to exercise is to exercise. If you can't stand socializing and can't get yourself to do it then the only solution is to show up at the party whether you like it or not.

She is going through a midlife crisis that is compounded with other things and she probably hates her looks and feels ugly. She is also probably focusing too much on the past.

Have her read this book:
Amazon productThere is a Japanese translation and it is popular. Most people feel much better after reading it.

Thank you for your insight.
I don't know much about depression, just what I have been searching to take care of her.
What I know for sure, is that she will act on herself or a family member if things don't change quickly. The depression itself is not the real emergency anymore.
Do you know of any association, organization, anything; that can find her a cheap place to live so she can recover?
 

yamcha

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No, I don't and neither should you. She is Japanese and all she needs to do is search online. She needs to get in the habit of helping herself. Japanese has a decreasing population so there is an abundance of social workers. You are actually hurting her by not letting her help herself. All she has presented so far to you is excuses and she casts blame on external forces.

Buddhists temples will take her in but they won't let her sit around and mope.
 

Auly

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Again, thank you. But you might want to consider that you're projecting things you've seen in the pass on a situation you don't know. You're jumping to conclusions.
She has never blamed others for her condition and always kept herself as active as possible to not be someone who "sit around and mope".
I'm doing the research for her because she is UNABLE (completely) to do the research.
All I know from the years we spent together is that she would already be dead if she had been on her own.
You don't know much about the full story and you are already dismissing her like a parasite.
Not helping her? if she doesn't commit suicide, she is in for a new decade of misery...maybe two, who knows.
Someone who matter to me is in pain and even if you are right about the nature of her condition; She doesn't know how to get better.
She must be part of the 1% (nice statistic out of your *** by the way), because what I saw living with her, was someone doing everything she could, trying every new things she could to get a stable life.
Thanks for taking the time to reply. But you're out of your mind, or your judgment and compassion have been eroded by years of practice; if you advise someone to stop seeking help for a person you have no clear knowledge of.
 

yamcha

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And why is she able to communicate her needs to you instead of googling for a place to help her? By your own admittance, she is blaming her family for making this worse when even though she is allowed to live with them.

So how exactly is it that she, a Japanese, is unable to do research but is able to enable you to do research for her abut Japan?

Would it be silly if you were on a Canadian forum and someone in Africa comes to seek help researching for a Canadian living in Canada? Why don't you just give out her contact info so people here can make phone calls for her in her own language?
 

Auly

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Yes...people! that's exactly what I'm looking for. Help, of any kind.
And she didn't ask me anything. I doing this on my own accord because no one else will.
Yes she lives with them and eat their food...and she is being abused. Those things have never been incompatible.
As for your exemple...would it be silly? If the only person that still gives a **** about you as obligations in another country but is still trying whatever they can to help from there? I guess I'm silly then. At least I'm not heartless.
I will keep searching.
 

yamcha

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Yes having a heart is helpful. I am crying inside for her right now.
You still didn't explain why she can't help herself in her own country and in her own language.
 

thomas

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@Auly, it sounds as if your friend requires (more) professional help.

What you could do is to contact one of the health professionals on the following website:


They are located all over Japan and will be able to help you further by pointing you to other institutions.
 
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