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Zaff

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Well that was the most uneasy situation of my life and I have been in a fair few. Meeting my Girlfriends mum who wasnt impressed that she had spent the last 4 nights with me. Sat at the family table looking uneasy as she grilled me about my intentions and what not. In the end she made me some tea and gave me some crackers 😌. I know she doesnt really approve of me much though to be honest, especially when she handed me back my T-shirt that she had washed and ironed. (The story behind that was I gave it my GF so she had something clean to wear as we were going out).

Anybody else had such an experience? Any ways to make her happier at the fact im seeing her daughter? I mean I have met English parents before but the cultural difference makes it harder.

Any stories or advice are much appreciated.
 

maushan3

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So, you are a foreigner living in England... are you Japanese or...?

Mauricio
 
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So, you are a foreigner living in England... are you Japanese or...?
Mauricio
Considering his use of the term "mum" instead of "mom", I'd say he's an Englishman living in Japan.

Oh yeah, ArmandV, can you link those stories? I'm not sure where to find them.
 

Zaff

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GodEmperorLeto : Yes I am an Englishman (not exactly a proud one though)
Dutch Baka : Thank you very much for that mate.

Damicci's situation is rather similar to mine, the only difference is im studying towards my degree and once finished I can move to Japan (which is my idea). The thing is im going to ask my GF to come and live in the UK with me whilst I study, asking her mother this is going to be a real pain in the arse :( .
 

Davey

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The thing is im going to ask my GF to come and live in the UK with me whilst I study, asking her mother this is going to be a real pain in the arse :( .

Is it you, that have to ask her mom? Isn't that something that her daughter should tell her.
 

TheImmigrantSong

日本はいちばん!
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HAHAHA well if you want a tale, I have one for you. I have been here in Tokyo maybe 7 months, and living in Tokyo those Japanese women really drive me crazy! 😍

I was in Harajuku when I was first a noob at the trains around here and I could not figure out how to get back to Shibuya from Harajuku (Yea 3 stops was a challange back then).

Well anyway, I was lost as hell and had about a Japanese vocabulary of "konnichiwa" at the time...so I desperatly looked for an english speaker. Finally giving up hope I just walked in circles until a beautiful Japanese girl approached me (asking if I was lost) with perfect english. She was so sweet and helpful, she even rode the train with me to Shibuya even though it was out of her way.

It was very nice of her, and just before we parted she gave me her number and said she would love to hangout next time! I was thrilled! How great could this be! Well after a couple of so called "dates" she wanted me to meet he parents (who spoke no english)....

I couldn't say no so later on that week I had dinner at her house. I was not accoustmed to Japanese taboo at the time, so come dinner time I made a very stupid mistake around her 80+ yrs. grandmother. I left my hashi (chopsticks) stuck upright in my rice as I took a drink of tea. The old lady walks by, frowns, yells and smacks me hard in the back of the head! I spilled my tea everywhere, and yes as you can it was a very awkward scene.

I know now that that is frowned upon here. (You are supposedly feeding the dead spirts or something of the sort). BUT, it made one VERY awkward dinner!

BUT, I am still with Minako, and have had many other "successful" dinners with her crazy grandmother since, and have even cracked a smile or too out of her crazy grandmother with my "gaijinish" Japanese! So don't give up!

😌

- Justin
 

ArmandV

Eight Times To Japan
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I left my hashi (chopsticks) stuck upright in my rice as I took a drink of tea. The old lady walks by, frowns, yells and smacks me hard in the back of the head! I spilled my tea everywhere, and yes as you can it was a very awkward scene.
I know now that that is frowned upon here. (You are supposedly feeding the dead spirts or something of the sort).

Man, you gave me a great laugh over this! Thank you! Last night, I even considered doing the same thing as a joke (and see what kind of reaction I'd get) at a Yoshinoya near Aoyama-Ichome station. Maybe it's a good thing I didn't.

Thanks also to Dutch for passing on the link, but it's not the one. The one I was referring to was the blow-by-blow account Damicci posted in almost realtime. I think it is over in Love & Relationships.
 

Mike Cash

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Well that was the most uneasy situation of my life and I have been in a fair few. Meeting my Girlfriends mum who wasnt impressed that she had spent the last 4 nights with me.

I don't blame her. I would have beaten you within an inch of your life.
 

misa.j

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TheImmigrantSong said:
I left my hashi (chopsticks) stuck upright in my rice as I took a drink of tea. The old lady walks by, frowns, yells and smacks me hard in the back of the head! I spilled my tea everywhere, and yes as you can it was a very awkward scene.
Oh my god! That's just priceless, such a classic 'grandma scolding a young kid scene'!

To Zaff,
It might take a while for Japanese parents to get used to seeing their daughter's boyfriend, but I'm sure they will warm up eventually. Learning some of the Japanese customs and off course, the language, do help you communicate with them better.
 

Damicci

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It's hard to say, all parents are not the same. One of my closest japanese friend's parents would love for her to marry or date an american. I remember meeting her mom (friend's mom) and all she did was talk about how cool I look. (i hadn't shaved in about a week) Her parents are very open to who she dates.

Then I have heard stories about not doing one simple thing and being told you will never see my child again. So just be yourself and remember the customs. Biggest thing, if you show you respect thier customs, I am sure it will go along way.
 
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GodEmperorLeto : Yes I am an Englishman (not exactly a proud one though)

Why aren't you proud? Granted I've never been there, but I've always wanted to go. I'd like to retire one day and live out my twilight years in a small, quiet town in England (if it wasn't for the damn costs) or maybe upstate New York.

TheImmigrantSong said:
I left my hashi (chopsticks) stuck upright in my rice as I took a drink of tea.
I like to mess with my Japanese friends here in the U.S. I offer rice to my fellow Americans with the sticks stuck upright in them, and because it means nothing to them, they don't mind. Even though I do not offer rice that way to my Japanese friends, they still get this shocked look on their face, then they start laughing. My American friends who know usually quote Monty Python ("I'm not dead yet! I feel happy!").

But I wouldn't do it in Japan.

The old lady walks by, frowns, yells and smacks me hard in the back of the head! I spilled my tea everywhere, and yes as you can it was a very awkward scene.
I'd have had difficulty not laughing if this had happened to me, because that's how my own grandparents are.

On a general note, I get a definite impression that most of you guys are dating younger girls (i.e. 18-24). My experience with Japanese friends ages 25-30 is somewhat different. Most of them take what their parents think very seriously, but still make their own decisions. Then again, since many of them are studying here in the United States for extended periods of time, I can't necessarily consider them all typical.

Indeed, a few of them are very atypical for Japanese girls, and don't really want to return to Japan ever (except to visit family, of course).

So, I guess what I am saying is that it would also depend on the girl's age, her ambitions/career, and her own personality, and not just the disposition of the parents. Some girls might submit to a father who forbids a marriage, others might say, "I'm sorry you feel that way, Dad. I hope you change your mind when you get the invitation."
 
D

dark_secrester

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Why is it that when you are at somebody's house, you always seem to get a smack over the head from a grandparent? It happens to me loads, pretty much anywhere I go.

In the UK, the rural life is the best (except there are no ammenities, cinemas etc)
I hate the UK though, it is really bad, and almost every morning you wake up to the smell of Cow crap.

Later
 
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